Time changed everything.

5 46

Did I live in a time long, long ago? A time where values, norms, and principles still counted? What is left of all I was raised by?

The table was always set.

We used a tablecloth and napkins. No paper napkins but those made out of cloth. Cotton or linen, no synthetics (which is plastic) or paper.

We prayed before and after each meal. Children were not allowed to speak. After we finished dinner a part out of the Bible was read. We read in turn as soon as we were able to read.

Dinner, the cooked meal, was at noon and we never drank anything. We had black tea with our breakfast and around 5-6 pm with the last meal of the day which was bread too. Eating was something we did together as a family. It was not allowed to eat outside on the street while walking.

Dinner on most days was: soup, the head meal, and dessert. We never ate with our hands, used knife and fork, and were taught how to use it properly. "You have to be able to dine with the Queen", my father told me at a very young age.

Well dressed

We took care of our clothes and with that of ourselves. We washed twice a day, took a bath daily at the end of the day. Daily new towels (two) and a washing cloth, teeth were brushed three times a day, shoes polished daily, and made out of leather and repaired. My so hated boots I wore for years. Synthetic clothes were rare and not really bought because it's bad for the skin and we ironed everything (underwear included).

Underwear was switched twice a day. My granny said it was important (you never know if you get an accident and have to be taken to hospital) and the old underwear was used for at night.

Clothes for Sunday's (and celebration days bought before Christmas), school and to play outside was common. Wearing jeans and sports shoes not done.

Respect

Elderly people were respected just like parents, teachers, and other adults. Not scold at and molested by teenagers.

It was the same with nature. Those with a garden were gardening. They had grass, flowers some their own food. Gardens added something extra to life. A garden never looked like the local garbage heap and not one single person would change it into a square because it's easier.

We respected the neighbors and privacy. No loud music/noise before and after a certain time. A phone call wasn't made in public, in the company of others, during those hours a day people enjoy their meals and not after 6 pm. It was normal to wish a good morning, greet someone outside on the street, to introduce yourself to new neighbors or at a party, to shake hands instead of being kissed, to say goodbye and farewell, drink coffee or tea from a cup instead of a beker and serve it with cookies or cake to your guests.

Rules

There were strict rules if it came to waking up and (children's) bedtime and playing outside. The tv set was not on while no one watched and we kept ourselves busy. It was rare to hear someone say he felt bored.

Shoes did not enter the house and we knew what was accepted or not. We were raised to be hardworking, helpful people not to be the next bored generation not willing to work, the big mouths always demanding but not able to set goals, schedule, and work for it.

As a child I never felt home in the world I was raised in but I was part of it and raised my children the way I thought was best.

If it comes to the eldest it didn't work out well. People like me raised in the old fashioned way have a hard time in an aggressive world. They wait for their entire life at the end of the line until it's their turn.

Not much is left from the values I was raised by. Some I can not afford, others are not important to me and some I really miss. Altogether, I feel like an alien again. Living in an aggressive world, fighting for my rights tires me out but it is what I teach my children to do. Kind, gentle, polite people will not be noticed. Like one of my grannies said, "the brutal ones reign the world". If you want your right you need to fight it's the only way not to be overruled.

#kittywu #values #parenting

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Comments

Hhhhgh

$ 0.00
4 years ago

Every thing changes with change of time

$ 0.00
4 years ago

I think Life is like a mystery.. as years passed it teaches one to lose everything what one has cling to the mind (kind of religious part). Otherwise mind will start rebelling and will try to rebuild itself where values are more important which it had familiar with once or may take path of aggression to prove oneself. I agree world is changing rapidly now where values have seen less moral source of strength than 30-40 years ago.

$ 0.00
4 years ago

Religion is one of the values I always doubted and deleted out of my life at a young age. The quality of my life improved and it's the same for my children. I do care about honesty (it's fine with being straight forward) and wait till it's your turn, etc but this kind of behavior is not rewarded. It's clear you need to fight, have a big mouth to be noticed and get what you want. It's a painful lesson.

$ 0.00
4 years ago

You have seen polite part first and now, has concluded that it doesn't work, so does now concluding for aggression part. My question is, Who is more powerful? The one who uses force? or the one who is polite?. There many examples in history you can see who choose path of politeness (not political gesture as like politician do) are more powerful on earth. How? because they preserve there energy for good times to come and when times come had reap benefits from being politeness as a virtue. No one will appreciate Hitler rather more people will respect who preserve values and gave back it to others by doing gesture. (See the movie 'Schindler's list'). Its a long term process, this is what for life is gifted and not mere a subjugation of others to assert one's authority. I hate religious word too because one word changes the whole perspective. Even if you have remove religious. you are still part of values, its just that you have started ignoring/forget it.

Sword doesn't cut sword, if it cuts, only blood will flow.

$ 0.00
4 years ago