The last battle

Today's my youngest her birthday, 18!

I am glad I made it that far although, I don't think 18 means children are adults, ready to face and fight the world. There are so many things to learn and if it comes to it school does not prepare for that.

Not a single word is spent on how to open a bank account, the costs of living, how to pay bills in time, the risk of bailiffs chasing you, contracts signed for 1 or even 40 years, or how to generate an income if you want to continue school or even study.

Till today schools do not have an open policy if it comes to their own expenses and what parents or children have to pay.

At midnight we all were awake and while my child combed her hair I told her this was the last time she was doing this in her old year. A last hug for her 17th and the first hug for the 18th. Each hug counts since this child of mine never was very hugable as a baby or toddler.

Knutsch, the little mouse I bought at Metro as I was pregnant, is still around. There are even more versions of Knutsch. The first one is green and got lost as my daughter took her out for a walk.

"Knutsch is not allowed to go outside", I said, but little children easily forget.

Knutsch was a favourite and still is. Today is Knutsch's kind of birthday too, so time for a bath (washingmachine) and to crochet a new scarf. Strange, I could swear it still had that scarf but my daughter said the other Knutsches still have one.

The story about Knutsch being lost in short:

A crying toddler for hours. I searched the internet for a substitute and drove to the southern part of the country. I took one green, a brown one and one with legs (back then I drove without a navigation system or Google Maps, and yet I found the address).

Once back home I entered the room in the dark and placed all the Knutsches I bought in a row inside of my toddler's bed. Immediately she became quiet and picked up the one with legs and threw it out of bed. She grabbed the next one and it followed number one. Only one Knutsch stayed. It turned out to be the green one. Brandnew, but it was green and accepted. She didn't care about old, new or how it smelled.

My daughter had put posters in the neighbourhood, because of the lost number one. The next day it was delivered by a neighbour. From that moment on the two green ones were used in turn. Not exactly the same. The oldest had its scarf chewed on and a part of its 'sleeping bag'.

My yoingest says she can't remember much of her childhood. Is that sad or a good thing because I only remember the horrible things of my days as a child trying to stay alive and survive?

Eightteen.

Today we opened a bank account. It's all done online these days and the promised 'only 8 minutes' takes hours. We are still waiting for the account, the last battle, to be approved. Strange, annoying it takes so long and my friend had it within a few minutes. I want to transfer her money to her account. The amount I started saving since she was born. Not much but better than the nothing I started my life with.

From today on (tomorrow) she has to take care of most of her finances. She is smart so she will know how to do it soon.

Today's meal will be, after Sachertorte, french fries with applesauce (we ate several homemade snacks yesterday and couldn't visit the shop because the car had a flat tyre). Why french fries? Because that was the only thing she ate for many years (before it was pancakes). She refused to eat something else or even try it.

She has changed although she does not have an appetite when it comes to all kinds of food. If it comes to that we all agree. There is not much tasty food around. Most of it did not only lose its taste but smell as well.

There isn't much more I can teach my child. We travelled together this year and she worked abroad for a few months this summer. She has her driving license, although she does not consider driving a fun thing to do.

Her 18th year will be different too. After 3 years c - vid and not seeing much she will work abroad for six months. At least that is the idea.

It's time for me to think about what I will do with my life. Will I travel more, leave, start my life, or stay home and sit at the window and watch others passing by? To be honest I am tired, exhausted. I have plenty to do but it would be great to sleep for a hundred years too. I do not have the FOMO.

A happy birthday to my dear youngest. I wish her a good life with a healthy dose of happiness.

01-10-2023

All photos are taken by me.