Nauseous

June 22, 2020

It's Monday. Today I am ill.
It is Summer but I have to stay in bed. I wish the curtains were closed. The light hurts my eyes. I did set the table at 6 am and went to school. I felt miserable but I thought if I sit still it's no problem. No nose bleedings today. The teacher says we will have a test. I really need to learn the tables by the head. I only remember three, 1, 5, and 10. I will put the paper underneath my pillow perhaps I know them when I wake up?

I hear children play outside. They sound happy. My parents don't come to my room and ask how I am doing. I think my father is trying to read books again. He is in the room next door. He doesn't like it if I make a noise. He can not think if he hears me. Are all dads like mine? I never see the other children as their dad's only moms. A friend her grandfather is at home. He has many rabbits. I like to watch them. Some have babies. My grandfather has many chinchillas. They are cute too. They live in the dark in the shed. I like it there.

June 23, 2020

It looks like I am really ill. Even my mother doesn't ask me to get out of bed and set the table. I have some water but it tastes weird. My face burns. I don't think the doctor will come. My mother doesn't want strangers in our house. She always says so but there are many strangers climbing the stairs up and down twice a week. I hear them in the room next to mine. It's the same room my father hides with his books. I try to be quiet. If not he bangs on the wall or comes to my room.
I had a look at the tables of contents but it's hard to remember. I can remember two more now but I wonder why I need them. My mother has a machine to do the counting for her. My grandpa has a bigger one the numbers are printed on a piece of paper. My dad has a slide-rule. He said in a year he teaches me how it works. Only looking at it gives me a headache.

June 24, 2020

Yesterday didn't end so well. I vomited and made my mother furious. She yelled at me, pulled me out of bed, and tried to strangle me. My father heard her and came to rescue me. My mother left and he helped me to clean up. He said next time if I need to vomit I do it into my pillowcase because it's easier to clean. The room stinks and I am upset but I think with my father around my mother will not come back. I hope she won't come back and leave me alone. I couldn't help it. I tried not to move and fell asleep but woke up sweating and miserable. I had to vomit again and gripped the pillow to vomit into its case. I think I did well exactly what my dad told me. No vomit on the curtains, blankets, or carpet. My mother came back and is even more furious. She says now she has to buy a new pillow and I am not allowed to vomit. She said she hates me and wished I was dead.