The past days I mainly spent in bed. These things happen especially with moms like me. Once I am able to hold up my head, walk on my own feet I crawl out of bed and do the things I need to do or which need to be done. Today it's garbage, the toilet, and the sink. I cannot stand smells no matter if it's mine or caused by my beloved one's. It's not that much work but a dirty task anyway and that's most likely why the toilet is ignored and the dishes are done. Let's not be ungrateful it's better than nothing.
This mom isn't dumb and knows her children are awake and will come out of bed as soon as the tasks are done. If it comes to that children are sneaky but it's fine with me because I want some time for me to find a place where I can be, sit undisturbed.
I need time to wake up, to reset myself. Time to stumble around and figure out how I survived the past days. My muscles, skin, and joints hurt and I wish my mattress was a better one or better my water bed was here. I pass by the youngest's bed it turned to the wall (awake for sure) and do the house chores I don't like, think about the strange dreams I had. Where to sit for the next hours with my tea?
"Hi, mom, did you sleep well?" Only one of my children asks me each morning how I am doing. It's the same child I heard ask yesterday if I would be better in time. In time to drive it to the course which starts August 3rd (I remember thinking "I know" but also "You can go by bike if I cannot make it" before I closed down and left to an unreachable place. Unreachable for them.). I am not sure I slept well because of those dreams. It's always about cars. Cars being stolen or broke.
"Is the car still there?" I cannot remember the last time I drove it.
"I can check it." Off the kid is.
"It's still there... Tomorrow I have that course..."
"I know."
This answer is enough. It knows most likely I will drive it because we need water and the garbage waits in the hallway and not much food is left either. Those things you can not deal with yourself yet is what mothers are good for if children are getting older.
Hmm, cars?