Living in a bubble

"Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow."

Good for a song but not something I would ask for. It started snowing yesterday. Small flakes, big flakes. I watched them falling through the window and had a walk outside twice. If it snows it's not so cold and the dirty world looks like a better place. Not that it is and it won't take for long but for a moment it is. It's an illusion ugliness, dirt, mud and even garbage no longer exist. Snow covers the bad up dead bodies, bad smells included. An old abandoned fallen apart house looks suddenly romantic.
Would, without all those songs about snow, the mindset about snow be different? The mind is easily filled with statements, ideas that aren't ours. We didn't figure it out ourselves. It's easier to believe what someone else wrote instead of getting active and putting their mind at work. It chats faster if knowledge from Wikipedia and mainstream media spits out on social media, the internet and to those we meet.

"I read it on the internet/social media so it's true" is a sarcastic phrase used. Some teachers warn pupils not to believe everything and so do I.

I tell my children not to believe people on their word, the first message that pops up if they search the internet for an answer. I know if our family searches for an answer to the same question each one of us sees something different. Indeed in this family we nearly daily search for answers to what keeps our minds busy. It's good for a talk and deeper discussions and to know what's on each other's mind. As a parent I want my children to be creative, think and not believe everything that's said. This was the norm in the society I was raised in. To me it's part of growing up, adultery to think, invest, build an opinion of your own, act and take responsibility for your deeds. There's no need to be one of the sheep, to follow the mass and repeat what 'they' want us to say. If we all did we would still live in a cave.

The truth behind a story will not be found if you stay in your bubble, close your eyes, aren't open to others their opinion and are not willing to search for it. It's easy to say "I didn't know" but today everyone can know, everyone willing knows. The truth can be found. Most of us have internet and with that access to the entire world. If you read the news read comments too. I learn from different opinions. Commenters are frequently showing the other side of the story, the real news. It's good to doubt. It's what science is built on: doubt.
That admired hero can turn out to be no hero at all. A celebrity isn't necessarily a good person and good deeds done by the wealthy are done for another reason than mentioned. Rich and famous are the most selfish people there are. They follow the 7-sins-rule to get that far and stay at the top.

Mainstream media doesn't care about the info they feed the world with as long as they get paid. Their task is to realize one mentality, one idea, to set up people against each other, to divide by chaos, to help organize a one-world government. The old Greek, Romans, Osman, the Sun-King (Louis XIV) and Napoleon had the same in mind like the Roman Catholic church and after them many others who love power and to be God themselves. The only thing you need to realize is that all you need is money. There's no room for empathy. Money is needed to buy people to spread your news, to buy what is needed to control people and governments (food/seeds, banks, multinationals, electricity and medication make a good start), to show your 'good heart' in times of need and money keeps your hands clean. Courage is needed to make your hands dirty.

Digging for the truth isn't an easy task and not everyone has the courage to do so. I start to believe that after I heard someone say "This fight is not meant for me" it's true.
If someone who rather stays in his bubble adds something good to the world is hard to tell. I assume they add nothing bad either and perhaps it's a way to keep them sane. Who knows they can help others to relative and put minds at ease in a world of chaos.

Those I know are all different. Different characters, ideas, some have hopes, dreams and ideas about what their future looks like. To realize that the future will never be if... can be hard to deal with.
What comes after the if depends on the person. I know it doesn't have to do with age. People of all ages, children and the elderly see their hopes, dreams, security taken away. A part of them fights, another part gives up while the biggest part follows and tries not to break their brains too much.

My children are not different although, in a way they are. Why? Because they have me as a parent. It does make a difference for a child who the parents are, what they stand for (norms, values) and how they treat/educate their child. Each one of my children is an individual, a personality, has a strong will and is creative. I always stimulated that. I raised them from a young age to be independent, responsible, how to do, ask for or where to get what. Things schools don't teach. Life skills, surviving hard times, how to fight for your life, set priorities, pay your bills, knowing what's right for you is not taught. Creativity, a different opinion, to stand for who you are is killed. As a child, you are drilled and have to cover up who you are, what you think, how you feel, everything that's personal because what you say or do will be used against you.

"You don't have a child to throw away," parents said about their son who's the murderer of their daughter. They stick to their child, support it. A child that intended to kill them too.

A fact about snow is it won't stay clean and white and it will not cover what's ugly forever. If snow melts the confrontation is back. With some luck, you had the necessary break and a relaxing time like I had yesterday. It's true what they say about a day without electricity. The world is more peaceful and so it is without social media, newspapers, radio and TV even more with a day without the internet, being offline. Without the continued stream of information, opinions, ideas on how to survive, the influence of so many people it's easier to feel happy and invest time in yourself. It's important to know yourself. If necessary we all can climb mountains but is there always a need to? Should we fight someone else's war or ours only? When is a war personal? Is it if you sit in the cold like the people in Kazakhstan? What happened there can happen everywhere. Everywhere where people are still fighting for their rights and do not let emotions like anxiety make hide them inside and die.

On January 6th I wasn't the only one in this world without electricity. I survived, hardly noticed it because I am prepared. Electricity issues I have had for at least 20 years. Annoying, especially in a world where they force you to use the internet for nearly everything important but the good thing about it is I'm prepared. I learned from it. I learned to do what's necessary right away. A delay always turns out bad. I learned that from living in the country. A life in the mud, sliding through sheep shit, fighting with insects, a lack of water and the endless cold in a place that is never really warm. To a certain amount you even get used to it just like the expensive costs for living, costs without food, clothes, school expenses, medication, dentistry and so on included.

At the start of 2022, I said to my children we didn't do bad at all. We have a home, a car, food. The children can visit school and the shops aren't always empty. Except for a headache or being tired not one of us was ill. We are healthy, more healthy than before, we are still close and laugh together. We didn't lose any friends or family because of a different lifestyle, poverty, a different opinion or ideas. We all can express ourselves freely. Isn't that what life should be about?

As a parent, we should support our children. If under all circumstances I don't know. It's up to each person to decide what a life is worth. A parent's, a child's, a friend's or your own. We do not share the same energy, feel the drive to act or respond. Taking responsibility isn't easy for many. Each decision comes with a price. Good or bad, wrong or right, accept or refuse, agree or deny the result of each choice is with what we live for the rest of our lives.

I want my children to see the world. The real world which includes its ugliness and dirt too. There's no need for them to experience everything themselves but I don't want them to grow up blind, innocent, without any skills, the knowledge they can survive on their own.

During my childhood, it was common to have a filled pantry. Ours looked like a small grocery store. Three items of each product we used were stored. Since I was raised with the idea you never know there might be a new hunger-Winter I did the same. Later I gave up on it to start with it again a few years ago. I made it easier to survive the Winters. Winters with rain or snow which made it hard to buy groceries. Once we were forced to stay home for nearly six weeks. If there's no shop nearby it's more relaxed to have some extra food stored in case of need. It saves me a lot of travelling and time too. Waiting in line I rather do with a filled shopping cart than daily for one or two items.
Just like me, my children are raised by making a shopping list. Each day we write down what is used. Once I go for the groceries I check which amount I can spend and what is most urgently needed. I make a new list and write the price I'm willing to spend behind each article something my parents never did they just bought what they needed no matter what it cost. I hope the way I do it will help my children in the future. A good life under hard circumstances can be lived if you list your priorities and know where the money flows into. With us, these are the costs for living not food and for sure not going out/fun.

Times change and so do the expenses and our needs. Another good reason to invest money in those things you always need unless you don't eat and don't care about hygiene and health.
In the next weeks, I will add a bit extra to my pantry. Things I wouldn't easily buy because I hardly use them but it doesn't mean I might need them in the future or someone else can.

* salt + sugar (body)
* coffee + tea + cocoa (energy, relax)
* alcohol (disinfectant)
* milk
* chocolate (survival food/good mood)
* washing soda (skin infections)
* bleach (clean water)
* soap (body, laundry, hair)
* socks (protection of the feet)

If it comes to bubbles. A life in the country without close neighbours, TV, radio is living in kind of a bubble too. I like the peace of mind it brings me. I don't need mainstream media to stay updated on the latest news. I don't like to be confronted with the ugliness and dirt of other people either. I'm aware of the world outside my bubble. I'm not blind, deaf or keep my mouth shut. To me, it feels nothing will change if I take the easy way, what's easiest to me. To some, it helps to keep the peace at home, within the family, among friends, at work. I don't have to deal with these situations which is a plus. I can read, search for answers, reasons if I feel to it and share information if I think it can benefit someone someday. It doesn't mean all info sent is read carefully I'm aware of that.
At times it's too much and at times it's better not to share because it tires out. Not only me but my children and friends too especially if it tends to be bad news only. If all light, fun and peace are taken away it's hard not to lose one's mind. What is eaten (read/heard) needs time to be digested.

I know I'm not the greatest mom in the world. As a parent, I could have done better. It takes time to grow into it parenthood and it's hard if you have two jobs, feel tired 24/7, are selfish and feel worried about the future of your children at the same time. Children want to play, have friends, dream, to be left alone instead of being pushed into directions. No child likes to listen to endless stories about the past or the ugly future. No child wants to be brainwashed but it happens. It happens for generations, it happened to us, to me. It needs courage and energy to fight (against all odds) and we all know not everyone is right for that job. Most of us will always need and follow a leader because our mind tells us it's the right thing to do. We only kick at our parents, fight them and say: I hate you.

#kittywu #parenting #life