Letter

Those good old days.

There was a time when we wrote letters. We took time to sit down, write in neat handwriting and even had a special pen. A fountain pen like a Parker or another Parker.

Back then penpals were what we, I, were looking for. Ads were found in newspapers and magazines. Those pen pals were rarely my age so all I could do was wait till I got older.

Once in a while, I found a pen pal.

My grandmother wrote back even though she was seriously ill. I no longer have her letters but somehow remember her handwriting. It must have taken her a long time to write since her vision was bad. She had 6 eye surgeries till she decided to give up on it. Most likely my mother threw those letters away because she disliked her mother-in-law (hated fits better).

Another pen pal of mine was my aunt. I do not remember what we wrote about but just like my grandmother, she wrote me longer letters.

Most likely I shared a part of my miserable and abusive childhood with her. Most likely with her and not with my grandmother although, both avoided the topic.

Another pen pal was a girl living in Belgium. Back then it felt as if she lived in a different part of the world. Her letters were short and disappointing because I put a lot of effort into mine. I easily wrote 10-14 pages so receiving four lines back is disappointing. I am not sure if I ever visited her, but once she did visit me. It wouldn't surprise me if she felt shocked or uncomfortable. My mother was a nasty person, no fun to have her near.

I assume I stopped writing because I felt so disappointed about those few lines but maybe she did. I try to remember her name but I can't.

For a while, I wrote with a former housekeeper as well.

She wrote me long letters and there was no need to keep any secrets from her since she knew how bad my life was.

Once older I wrote to people abroad.

I even bought the special airmail paper and envelopes. I wonder if they still exist. I must have spent a fortune on stamps, paper, pens, envelopes and later toner to print the letters I wrote on my computer to inmates.

Writing with a prisoner is something special.

I wrote with about 20 over at least 10 years but it all ended. It's hard to admit that no matter how long you write, and how much you help out, inmates are not loyal. Even if they say they are they are not. As soon as someone else shows up, money is involved you are dumped. I always wondered and will wonder why. A penpal might not be that friend nearby but it is still a friend. After years of writing, that should mean anything.

Today people chat, email or text.

I noticed that even with this luxury (no need to wait for six weeks to receive a letter back) people lose contact. Instead of getting closer they always run out of time and I wonder why.

Shouldn't the average person have more than since he's provided with more luxury, high-tech, robots to help out?

I miss the old-fashioned letter. It would be nice to receive one again for a change instead of bills only (although they are getting rare too since more and more are handled online). Especially a letter from Heiko would brighten up my day. His letters were the best and he's my pen pal, the friend I miss most.

Soon Mr. Postman will be jobless and all that will be left is badly written text on the web. No letter written in personal handwriting to hold and no words to read once the power is switched off. If you ask me that's really said.

1-1-2024