Cluttering
If you are considered a witch and asked for help in the middle of the night by someone in need what will you do? Is it safe to help others, witchhunts still exist.
Will you help that person, shrug your shoulders, ignore the call for help or be that shoulder to cry on?
The call for help isn't about alcoholism but about not knowing how to get out of the trap and loneliness. There's no need to be a witch, have certain powers, have knowledge about herbs and mix a powerful drink to know loneliness is what drives people, makes them drink, smoke, take pills and end their lives.
When you meet someone, you form an image of them within seconds. This happens without you being aware of it, so indeed the first impression counts. You can say that this is discrimination or that you make a judgement before you really know someone or maybe you suffer from prejudice, but whatever you call it, this is a fact. The first impression counts and after that, it is difficult to change anything.
When you meet someone you might like him, maybe you don't have any specific feelings and you describe them as neutral, but it can also be that your instincts warn you to stay away from them. People can be dangerous and our instinct is to keep us safe from any situation of danger. Danger can mean being knifed in the back, having your home ransacked, having your bank account emptied or being destroyed mentally or emotionally. Dealing with others consumes energy.
In this case, the person who asked for help is someone who decided to respond days after the question: what can I do for you?
This question was the consequence of the help offered. He who does good, meets good is what is often preached, although this is rarely the case. The man offered his help as he always does with everyone and this help was accepted. He introduced himself briefly so that both parties know with whom they are dealing. In response to this help, a return service is offered (after all, nothing is for free) with the words: what can I do for you? Back then the man shrugged his shoulders and said he wouldn't know anything. A few nights later he contacted to ask to help him reduce his alcohol intake.
Even someone who is not paying attention has already formed an image of the man at the first brief meeting. The brain processes information at lightning speed and this is the impression that is left behind. The outward appearance, clothing, the way people talk and the rubbish in the car. It all says something about this man who is always ready to help others, and after he gets out of work helps others with all kinds of things for hours before he goes home.
The house, his house is not a home which is confirmed after a home visit and that is no surprise. There are pets so there is company but it is a mess and this mess is not about piled-up books.
You won't believe your eyes, says the man to his visitor.
Frighten, how many people still get frightened when they struggle between the piled-up stuff and bags of rubbish? It seems that cluttering, people who keep everything and cannot part with it, is on the increase. In times of war, this is not strange (he who keeps what has what), after all, you never know if you will need it again, but keeping rubbish.
Why is there so much waste in and around a house where nobody really lives, where no one cooks?
In this case, the reasons are clear. A part of the garbage comes from the home of the parent who died a few years ago. The new residents have simply put everything in the son's front yard. There is no rubbish dump in the area, a few kilometres away there are a few containers where plastics, glass and paper can be delivered but the rest has nowhere to go.
When it comes to separating waste, not everything can be handed in either. Plastic is often only plastic drink bottles, glass must be clean and this also applies to paper. The openings of the containers are small, so what doesn't fit in there can't go in the container either. Putting rubbish bags next to the containers is prohibited. What remains is to burn it or live among the rubbish.
Keeping and making friends or acquaintances becomes difficult. Not everyone understands this situation.
In this case, it was not only the death of the parents that caused these problems but also moving to another country, a village that does not like outsiders and sees them as a threat, even if the outsider has the same nationality. Anyone who speaks more than one language is seen as a threat and so is anyone who is more intelligent than the average villager.
Even without words, you can learn a lot from what you see, and the situation you are confronted with. For some, it is a shock, others put on their poker face and for some, it does not matter and only the human being counts.
Apart from the move to another country (for the parents), the death of the parents, a broken marriage where the house was destroyed no less than three times by the ex-partner is also the cause of the chaos and the mess in which this man lives. Not everyone is able to start again and again, not even those who always lend a helping hand to others.
You are a good witch, he says and is happy to have company and a conversation with someone who lets him tell his story without judgement.
Do you know about herbs too?
There are no magic potions that make people feel better unless they believe in them.
There are no magic potions that make a man feel better unless he believes in them. In that regard, drugs are no different. We all know what the placebo effect is... the power of positive thinking.
In the man's case, it doesn't take much to make him feel better right now.
Being present, and wanting to meet someone in their own world is the first step. The second step is to put it to work. Who feels good can do mountains of work and while he creates his own, safe home also something to be proud of. That being proud is of yourself. If everyone cared for themselves first, the world would look much better. It is useless to help others if you cannot help yourself. Running from problems, and feelings is not the solution, acknowledging them and being prepared to do something about them is the key.
Only in a tidy house can a tidy mind live.
Cluttering gets in the way just like an addiction does. The intelligent man knows that things can be done differently. He's had that other life, but needs some help clearing the trash of the past.
And although the witch knows that drinking too much alcohol is not the cause of the problem, she takes the bottle of booze with her. Wine of which the man himself says that there is no grape in it and that it is chemical.
Make your own potion, says the witch, you can use your honey for this. In a few weeks, we can celebrate the end of summer with mead, the drink of the gods. If you do want to drink alcohol, make it yourself or buy something of good quality so that you drink to celebrate something and not endanger your own health.
You are always welcome, the man says when the witch disappears. Thank you for being there.
The witch nods and says he has something to do now, something to look forward to. She hopes he has the willpower to say goodbye to all the garbage that only keeps bad memories alive. After all these years it is time to say goodbye, start something new and start living again today.
[spam]