Begging

I consider myself a lucky parent. My children never made my life hard if it comes to begging for toys, food, ice-creams, new, expensive clothes, or shoes, or whatever.

I notice if money is wasted in most cases it's wasted by me. I am the one who always asks if they don't like an ice-cream, like trousers or shoes, the book or shouldn't... I am that person who should be punished for buying without a reason and forcing it upon my children even if they don't need it, are satisfied with what they have, always wearing the same (favorite) clothes no matter if there are holes in it (sew it please).

At times I hate myself for doing so because I need the money and in the past, it happened so many times that new bought was not even used once or worn once. They grew out of it, at home it didn't look that awesome and besides catching dust, it is only good for giving away or throwing away. What a waste!

I raised my children well and they say no! They don't need it, want it, like it, accept it if I ask. By now I recognize the faces or the answers. They're perhaps is more like "if it really pleases you buy it but don't count on it I will..." Noted! "Alright, soothe yourself, it's a no!", I say and can't help noticing how relieved they are. It's not that I make them wear in the latest fashion because I know it would make them feel miserable. It's fine with me whatever they wear even if it is a potato bag, or all those screaming colors hurt my eyes (I say something about it but the child said it's her working outfit).

My children care about money and me. They know if they need it they can go buy it. They can buy it alone because I hate shopping so I stay behind in the car or at home if I can. They know which amount they can spend (the max) and always stick to it. They do not care about brands and are never bullied because of their clothes. I guess the reason is they are personalities and do not feel the need to please anyone. The designer of jeans, bags, T-shirts, shoes, and sportswear included (not that I ever felt that need). " They better pay me for wearing a lousy shirt with their name on it", the youngest always says. I share that opinion and can't help thinking what a loser those people are who promote a certain brand for free just because of their lack of self-esteem. The quality isn't even better. It's all made in... (well, you know).

I see them as those parents with unsatisfied children. Feeding them candies, ice-cream, fruit, and cookies they didn't pay for first. They just rip the bag open in the shop, take and give what isn't theirs while their monsters keep yelling, screaming, crying, demanding. I wonder how it feels to have children like these, why they are not fed before they left or left at home. How it feels if people watch you because you cannot say "no!" put them at work for a change and let them pay for what they want. A child will never learn the value of money if begging, pathetic behavior, and yelling are rewarded with everything it wants. Spoiled children will never be satisfied and keep trying out the boundaries set. If you don't act while they are still young you create a monster you can fear for the rest of your life. Being tired is no excuse for not raising, correcting your children. Show them what the real world looks like, prepare them for those hard days, and if you give something make sure they deserved it. Really deserved it because they worked for it not because you feel guilty of not spending enough time with them.

That is what I did, a single hard working mom with a job outside of 60-80 hours a week. Always showing up, helping out at school, with homework, buying, compensating. Altogether I did ten times more than a couple but at least I can say my children are not spoiled, attentive, helpful and they know how (not) to spend money.

#kittywu #parenting #raising #littlebeggars