If no one cares about you, you need to take good care of yourself. Especially if you take care of, are responsible for others.
Daily we deal with many issues, issues we need to solve or simply learn to accept and live with. Accepting is not as easy said as done, it's the same if it comes to forgiving.
"We forgive the killers of our son because we are Catholics" is what the mother of the beaten into death boy said. "We forgive because we are Catholics".
It is one of the strangest reasons I heard and it doesn't sound to me like real forgiveness. Real forgiveness can only happen if our soul, heart and mind are ready for it. Not because a religion tells us it is the right thing to do.
It takes time to "get over it", get over the hurt, injustice, all those feelings and thoughts we have to deal with and in some way need to deal with.
Saying you forgive someone is not about forgiving because forgiveness is not the way to take care about ourself but making life easier for someone who did wrong. It's questionable if that person is even grateful for it, if it is a help. The harm is done, the trust broken and both parties need to live with it till their memory is erased.
We all know the numbers and phrases, idioms, history, and are aware most people will never change. It's just us who not willing to believe it won't happen because we said those magic words "I forgive you". The inability to see the truth, the facts lies in ourselves.
To be able to live, to continue, to deal with issues eats energy. Energy you need for yourself in the first place. That is how a body and mind function. We eat, sleep, relax to contain enough energy. If you start helping others, always help out other people, you slowly start feeling sucked dry, you will be out of energy and discover (in most cases when it's too late) you are starting getting (health) issues. Issues that will slowly kill you or in some cases kill you faster then expected.
Helping out others is not what most of us do because we expect a favor back (and why not because it would be a natural thing to do) but because we have a certain way, a gift for solving problems, it is expected from us or it is a way to forget about the own sorrows and feel needed.
Yeah you are right. We should take care ourselves.