I am not used to it, spending time with others I mean and it is what I do lately. It can be motivating but today it is not. I like to be with me and do what feels good for me.
The motivating part by the way is that a friend, the huntsman, said my place is a good one to live, there are so many birds and there's plenty of wildlife. Seeing nature through the eyes of someone else does motivate though.
He told me about a video he watched about an elderly lady. She lives in Siberia on her own. I believe I found a video about her although things she described I didn't see.
A tough lady she is and as he told about her I heard how he admired her. She is taking care of herself. Fishing, weaving, growing her crops, taking care of her firewood, homemade skis, a dog and cat... even taking care of a one-legged man who isn't a big help and threatened her and wanted to force her into living with him and sex. Everything she does while living in the cold, waking up at 6 a.m. and with only one meal a day.
She, her family, missed the second world war entirely because her father decides to save his family from the poisoned world (government included).
She tells how she has only visited a city a few times in her life. Each time she did she became sick. "I cannot breathe in the city," she stated while she shovels through the snow. Air pollution or? The chemical stew is too much for her and to those who listen to her they also hear life is hard and she could use a helping hand, a helpful man since the one who decided to stay there too is not.
"He cannot take care of himself. Take care of his water or firewood".
She answers every question honestly, says life is hard especially if you have to run a household which she does.
Her mother starved herself to death so her children would have something to eat. She never married but takes care of a man although there's no chemistry and I wonder what motivates her to keep him alive since for sure she is older than he is. Would I do such a thing? I doubt it. Life was already hard enough for me and still is although I am in calmer water these days and I like to keep it that way. Issues are always brought to me by others and I am not in an urge to go back to a life with more worries and stress than I already have. I am not afraid to "miss the boat" not even if life is hard on me.
The over 70-year-old lady I watched is doing a great job. She deserves someone who takes care of her not an extra burden, more work. If I watch her I think: it's possible. If she can do it I can do it too. There are no bears on my way I can't scare away.
"You are a witch," my friend said as I told how I ran after the farmer who tried to drive away with his tractor through the grassland as I asked him when he would repair the road he damaged.
Can be I am a witch but at least I managed that road is a bit better, the farmer no longer dares to threaten me and I gave someone a good laugh. So if you hear this story of a lady in a dress running after a tractor you know it was me.
Don't believe it's always easy to ask how or what, to fight for my right because I am not social and I would love to live alone (and would take alligators instead of dogs). Although he said he would better not call me any longer he did so only a few hours later to invite me over to his fire. A great fire that looks as if a pumpkin is burning. It has to wait. I need to wake up early. Another week of work waits for me. Hopefully, one that won't be too hard on me. I count on an easier life. One without the pep talks I give myself several times a day.
If you like to watch the photos or video see here I hope it motivates you to count on yourself. Your own power, strength. This woman has some wise words to tell if it comes to many and being self-providing. Who knows you discover what motivates her to go on.
