One Speaks Like A Dumb Shit

Despite learning about how to converse with others, for example with questions; but when it reaches some time, then there are two ways to continue. One, resort to asking the same question again, but since they're first asked probably real long time ago, now they would have a different answer. Really, these prompts are really useful, but it seems like one didn't use it quite often anymore on closer friends; and one don't know why... Second, you speak like how you normally speak. Thing is, if one is a dumb shit, and only learns how to speak more friendly in the first way, then resorting to the second would means self-doubts. Which is why this article.

One isn't sure, is it the correct way to speak to someone by just having one speaking and one listening? It starts making more sense, to have an exchanging conversations feels more satisfied than a one way conversation. Of course, when we're conversing, it's more of one way, since conversation is basically one listening to what the other person's talking, and trying to understand what they means (Dr. K said this, and one agrees). Then, it also make sense that throughout multiple conversations, we would have someone speaking and someone listening, albeit in a more exchangeable way. A more, fair way.

But one feels one is dumb, being the one that's always speaking. When things got quiet for a long time, it seems that none of us could muster another stuffs to speak; perhaps because of laziness to think about what to speak about. Or perhaps, we thought that stuffs in life is just too boring to share, when they are not, sometimes they are as interesting to the other person. We only feel boring because we don't realize the other person doesn't know about it. Or because we realize, but we're too lazy to put it into words, so we wait.

It's feeling sad. Grief. Sorrow. For having a fair conversation is what makes a conversation continues; that makes both feels satisfied at the end of the day. And failure to meet only makes things worse. Of course, you probably have a different criteria, different people different, one understand; so, did your criteria meet most of the time?

At least, it's about time to muster a change, as this isn't what one wants. Always on the lookout to make situations better.

In your stance, it's time to find something that you can speak about in life, that you're willing to share to one another, and share them. If you have quite a number of things to share, but feel they're too private to even share it with closer friends, it's a shame. Probably it's your issue, and it's time to lower your barrier and determine what is "real private" vs "fake private".

Have a chance to speak, and let the others have a chance to speak theirs. It's a strong feeling when someone don't give you the chance to speak. It's also a strong feeling when you want someone to speak and they don't, provided you give elongated pause in between for them to step in. The balance between is what makes conversation interesting; what makes conversation feels good.

So, shall one muster the courage to always speak to the other person about issues, so to reach a consensus on what's what. On some things, we could make sacrifices: since one would like their sacrifices, one should also allow oneself to sacrifice if they need one to. On other times, independent of sacrifices, disallow alternatives. For example, one could sacrifice in other field, but one had a principle that: you must not look at your phone when we're speaking to one another, and no slightest tolerance for that, ever.