Feelings: Easily Surges Up, Difficult Calm Down

It's certainly not like throwing a pebble into a lake surface. That flops, and dies out. However, feelings greatly depends on your expectations: and a violation of expectation tends to stay longer than one that does not.

For example. If you expect to not work on Sundays, but your boss keeps pings you saying things are urgent urgent urgent, then it violates your expectation. Solution might be simple, easy to solve, doesn't take more than a few minutes or even half a minute; but your feelings afterwards doesn't immediately go away. It has something to do with worries: you tend to overthink. What if the solution doesn't totally solve the problem? Or it could be you're doing something relaxing and the "pebble thrown" disturbs your perfectionism of "relaxation". Violation of expectations means you keep getting angry about it, and you can't stop getting angry about it. Anyways, it might take half an hour, or even longer just to calm down, depending on how much expectations is violated.

Even worse: if you solve one problem, you calm yourself down, then your boss come with another problem. The sinusoidal wave of how your feelings are means, the second time, it's not easily calm down anymore. The thought of sabotaging work came into mind in the first place. It's a promise violated. In case you're easily thrown off, you might start smashing furnitures! Continual violation of expectations is the recipe to quit something.

The feeling surge happens even if it doesn't happen often. Only that you're more forgiveable (maybe, if you're a forgiving person) in the case where feelings are surge rarer (perhaps once per year at its peak frequency, averaging once every few years) than if your boss doesn't know what it means by urgent (by marking every single item as urgent so nothing is urgent and everything is urgent). All in all, forgiveness doesn't replace your day ruined. What's ruined is ruined, carved into history. And like you need to pay more to cover insurance if your insurance paid at least once for you, it's the same your boss pay to what you feels when he/she surges your expectations.

Of course, this doesn't limit to boss surging feelings. It's just an example that comes to one's mind immediately. You might as well make up for different situations, like getting an unexpected call during holidays, or perhaps someone ask you to not do your "stress relieving activities" (exercising, going to the park, etc) to urgently solve their problem (that probably have nothing or little to do with you, and mostly something that can wait but the person dealing cannot wait, and since he/she is feeling agitated, he/she decides that the whole world should now focus on him/her and feels agitated too! Otherwise unfair)**

All in all, it's easy to change something into an urgent situation, as it's something carved into our gene in the past to deal with dangers lurking ahead. However, it also means it's difficult to calm ourselves down thereafter. When you just faced a danger and get out of it, you tend to be more cautious towards your surrounding in case it happens again, and slowly dies out as time passes. You can see this in action: when you learn something new from a painful lesson, unless you make it a habit or the lesson is sufficiently painful for you to remember it forever, you most probably take it into mind for a short period of time, perhaps a few weeks to a few months, before it get forgotten into the back of your mind. Reason? You have so much other things to deal with, and our brain isn't good to take in things unlimitedly into the foreground. Perhaps in the future you might remember it again, or something triggers your memories and your action put forth to try keep it in momentum, but that requires effort, or luck.

Unfortunately, there aren't much way to solve the problem other than "your choice". It's your choice to tend to the attention, and it's your choice to not tend to attention. It's your choice to postpone something if you think you need it postponed. Of course, the result of the action, what others reactions are, isn't calculated in this formula. Perhaps your choice may cause you to lose your job, or perhaps losing your friends (the one concerned), well, you already take that in mind when you make your choice, didn't you?

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**Some stories: While one was a child, one have this thinking really strongly. If one couldn't fall asleep, my parents should tend to my unrestfulness. Of course, I don't really shout out to wake them, but I used to move a lot while sleeping with them so to "disturb".