Then and now
I remember my childhood.
We ran wasps on the meadows, our feet were green with grass.
We felt the ground with every step we took, every breath we took.
We smelled the scents of autumn, the scents of spring.
Today our children wear masks.
They feel nothing.
They feel the smog of a car and a glowing road.
It will never be the same again.
I had a covid
I don’t normally believe in covid disease. But when I came back from the road I would avoid isolation I went to get tested.
But when I came back from the road I would avoid isolation I went to get tested. I don't have any symptoms at all.
The funniest thing is that I was with my husband and son the whole time, who tested negative.
Ok. If they say so then I have a covid.
I just don't believe that disease exists. I think it's just a stronger form of the flu.
I don’t believe they found the vaccine so quickly and I don’t want to get vaccinated.
Who knows, maybe I was just lucky
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Grandmother???
Today is a day to remember.
My middle daughter will become a mother.
I didn't know that, they just told me. I wasn't ready for that.
Dad wished her luck and a tear appeared in the corner of his eye.
I was shocked because every mother wants to know some things from her children first.
Feelings were mixed, from happiness through the sadness of losing another child.
My daughter, why didn't you tell me that, didn't you trust your mother?
My mother was always the first to find out everything that was happening to me.
I get used to growing old, becoming a grandmother.
My daughter, I wish you all the happiness in the world!
Mom loves you.
How short life is !!!
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Soulmate
We never met or touched. We touched with our voice. We felt something indescribable. Something that many others may never have felt.
And it lasts so long and it's getting stronger.
Every thought of you drives me crazy.
Hours of talking about anything and everything. And we don't know each other, we've never met.
Have you had such an experience?
I never have and I think I never will.
The nights are the worst. You want that being to be by your side, to warm you, to kiss you, to hug you tenderly.
When will it stop and will it ever stop ??
That desire, that hunger for someone you have never met.
Do you think that is possible?
Life then and now
I remember my childhood. It was beautiful. I wouldn't be able to tell you which year was more beautiful for me, winter, spring, summer, or autumn.
Spring was green, it smelled of flowers, there were a lot of hanging flowers and primroses. When the fruits bloomed, that irresistible smell was still in my nostrils.
The summers were hot, and the evenings so fresh. It was possible to sleep well. The most beautiful part of the summer was the school holidays. We would spend them on the rivers, bathing in clear waters, eating healthy fruits.
Autumn was not so attractive because of the fog and rain. But those beautiful yellowed leaves falling from the branches were beautiful. Then we knew that the grape and chestnut harvest season would be a little longer.
Winter ... snow, skating on frozen meadows, sledding, it was a pleasure. It would attack the snow and the surface would freeze. We would walk on it and it would not decay. In the evening our mother would make homemade quince tea or bake our whole potatoes in the oven.
Our childhood will never happen again.
Our children have their childhood, but I don't envy them at all. They have everything, expensive mobile phones, laptops, game consoles, but they don't have that childhood.
When it is winter, our children are cold and at + 10. They mostly do not have that contact with the ground because they rarely go barefoot. They wear expensive shoes as a sign of belonging to something.
What was, was, will never be again
Unfortunately...
Where is this world going?
I haven't been here for a long time ...
Covid rules the world, an earthquake has destroyed my city. Nothing has moved anywhere since 12/29/2020. The city is destroyed, people are housed in a container settlement.
People are desperate, they don't know when they will return to their destroyed homes. When the reconstruction of their homes will starts, who will pay for it?
Donations for the reconstruction have arrived very much from all over the world, but they are nowhere to be found. Who benefited from human torment and suffering?
For now, there is only political skirmishes and a fight for the chair. Who will be in charge, who will manage the ruins? Only that has become important.
This is downtown!
Recorded on 31.12.2020.And nothing has changed since then ... Not even soon ...
Petrinjka ... the pride of Petrinja
The former department store, built-in 1979 according to all anti-earthquake standards, was the first to be demolished in the earthquake-affected area.
The situation regarding the renovation of that department store has been complicated for years by unresolved property and legal relations.
The decision to demolish surprised many, why the department store has not been revitalized so far?
Sad for all of us citizens, very sad ....
Hope...
My dear readers
The earthquake brought a change to my family. My daughter found a job and no longer lives with us. Very good for her.
The other daughter will be moving back soon. No, she didn't break up with her boyfriend. And he will come with her ahha.
They lived on the fourth floor and my daughter doesn't want to go back to that apartment. She's afraid there will be another earthquake.
I could even say that this disaster has brought us something good.
But fear is still present.
It also snowed. And it hadn't been for years.
The number of people infected with covid is falling, but we are still closed.
Cafes are still closed, not even restaurants.
Even gyms don't work. Today, a brave man opened the doors of his gym to people.
It didn't take long, unfortunately. The police came and took him away.
We hope for a better future !!!
Every few hours the Earth shakes and takes me back a month. Fear came back again
Back to the earthquake
Sunday was the day when I felt stomach cramps, headaches and fear again.
We returned to the Ghost Town-Petrinja.
Twenty kilometers from the entrance to the city, the consequences of the devastating earthquake are already visible.
Houses without chimneys, camping houses in front of cracked houses.
The road cracked, there were potholes somewhere and somewhere the asphalt rose and made obstacles.
I don't see any progress throughout the city, everything is almost the same as on the day of the earthquake, there are very few people left.
Donations in construction materials come from everywhere, but I don't know where they go. Because, there is no material anywhere you ask.
There is too much food and clothes. My people, we need construction and sanitary materials. We sleep in the lower part of the house, my husband, son, daughter and I. Upstairs it is not safe even though we have a green sticker.
The green sticker says that we do not have the right to a camp, although we are threatened with the collapse of the roof, and the walls on the first floor have cracked.
Yes, they were staticians. Yes, they were and only looked at the ground floor of the house because they did not dare to go upstairs.
All in all, I am happy to have any kind of roof over my head and that we are all alive and well.
Now my goal is to overcome fear and fall asleep peacefully one night, not waiting for Mother Earth to shake.
23 days since the earthquake
I am currently in some kind of refuge.
I left with my family for a short time from my ruined town of Petrinja. We will be back on Sunday.
What to expect when we return?
The daughter does not want to return with us, the other daughter is on the other side of Croatia.
The only son is still with us. He has to finish school.
Our roof is damaged, we don't have a chimney. Wait for the state to start repairs, I think it will take a long time.
The earth still trembles daily, a very ugly feeling.
When will it end?
My Bella
During the earthquake of course I was afraid for my pet Bella. I didn't know where she was for 2 days. We found her in the house, she was hiding, even though I kept calling her.
Since we slept in the car I took her too.
https://www.facebook.com/viggy40/videos/10224766439132721
Earthquake in Croatia on the eleventh day
My city of Petrinja is a ruin.
We all lived a peaceful life, finally after years of construction after the war.
We never dreamed that we would be affected by such a catastrophe.
We just prayed to God to get rid of that disease called corona.
Wearing masks has become our daily routine, and now we are listening to the ground beneath our feet.
Will it shake and when? Who can know?
We took our children to a safe place.
They miss their home, but they do not want to return.
What future awaits them?
Schools are closed, some were destroyed by the earthquake.
Two older daughters do not have a job and do not even know when they will have it.
A sad fate has befallen us, but even that must pass once and for all.
https://www.facebook.com/viggy40/videos/10224648652068118/?__cft__[0]=AZXuQ5AuHyiBLDDhdoHhT09UU6jaTc0BMy58Wwo4tGfIt1nl_miD4K2FZniuFPwg40Y0Q9px7EhMOBqoj7ghDQIlWIO34PUttIf6DBVPfpwrW8i-cvoiDwz6tMrinR4VHHQAHbFyo2T7krVVPMuSQdrV&__tn__=%2CO%2CP-R
Earthquake in Croatia
**29. 12. 2020.**
**12:19:54**
**6,4**Richter
The day is nice sunny and calm. Everything seems to be ok. I am cooking lunch, the children are sleeping because they have not slept all night for fear of a new earthquake.
The husband is on the roof, fixing the tile that fell and there is a hole left.And the neighbors are on their roofs.
The horror begins. The whole house shakes. I run out of the kitchen and call the children, but I can't hit the passage through the door. Everything is rocking. Somehow we run outside.
My two daughters and I. The son is already out there helping my husband climb the tile with a crane to the roof.
I look at the roof, and my husband is nowhere. I'm dying of fear. I think he fell off the roof. Suddenly my husband runs out of the house, somehow he managed to escape from the second floor.
Horror, my people, indescribable horror.
We sent the children to a safe place as far away as possible from this horror. My husband and I sleep in the car. All the neighbors sleep in the cars.
Every twenty minutes the ground shakes a little.
We can't sleep.
We finally got to the morning.
Earthquake in my town again happens in 7pm but not so bad like the first
Earthquake in Croatia
28. 12. 2020 at 6.28.
It was a terrible awakening....
The frightened children run to the ground floor of the house, put on their jackets, and run outside.
The whole street is outside, the children are crying
Let it not happen again...
https://youtu.be/3Ic9DCO-sAQ
Holidays
My dear readers
I haven't been here for a few days. This corona situation worries me a lot. We're locked up.
Cafes are not working, there are more and more infected, there are more and more dead.What's going on with the world?
My loved ones weren't infected yet, or were we and didn't even know it?I know we have to be positive, but how? Depression is getting worse, people are nervous. They quarrel while waiting in lines in stores. Sometimes they even fight.
And the Christmas and New Year holidays are approaching. People should be happy. There is no more snow to cheer us up. Nothing is as it used to be. I regret the old days, like when I was a carefree child.
It hurts me the most that this will be the first new year in my life without my mother. My unrepentant soul. Sometimes I tell myself that you are happy not to see what is happening to the world.
**It will be better**
**It must be better**
https://youtu.be/HPYwjeqplXo
**The most beautiful part of my city**
To my former love ...Autor V.B.
There is only one word from you to me - love. Something breaks in my soul because I no longer have the strength to wait for you, so I will write everything I want to tell you on this piece of paper.
However, I do not give up because in the depths of my soul I feel that it is difficult for you, maybe even harder than for me. I feel that you love me.
I love you and want you, maybe more than you know, but I'm afraid of the pain I would feel if he left me after all.
I don't know if I can trust you anymore. I think often about you, about all your actions and mistakes. I know you can't go wrong, just like me. I will always be wrong about something, just like you. We are the same.
You have to understand me. Just one night spent with you would change my life to the end. I wouldn't be so happy with you anymore. I would be afraid of you leaving even though I know it would come back to me again.
You come back to me every time. I don't know what's true anymore, please tell me. I want to talk to you, to tell each other everything, honestly and without a shred of lies.
You told me that you were changing, that you loved me, that you wanted to start all over again. I didn't believe you. Not that I didn't want to, but I couldn't know if I could trust you.
I ONLY KNOW ONE THING - I LOVE YOU, AND MY LIFE IS DESTROYED WITHOUT YOU
I want to see you, to reveal all my feelings to you. You once told me to hide my feelings, to be afraid of them. I was afraid, I admit. I was afraid but not of the feelings but of your answer.
Try to be with me. I may be wrong, but try.
I want us to find out if we are really for each other or we imagined all the time ...
COVID-19 in my city
Croatia is a small country with 4,076 million inhabitants. It is a census from 2019. I think there are many fewer of us now. A lot of people have emigrated in recent years.
This 2020 has brought disaster to the whole world. People are dying.
I am worried about my children. What will the future have? This epidemic is worse than the war. The war can be stopped, but this ...I believe that people are to blame for this state of our planet Earth.
Until recently, I thought this epidemic would pass quickly, but now I am slowly losing hope.There are more and more infected people around me. We don't go out anywhere except when necessary.
My city is very small with 24,671 people.In the past 24 hours, 2,613 new cases were recorded, so the number of active cases in Croatia today is 21,685. Among them, 2,660 patients are in hospital, of which 278 are on respirators. In the past 24 hours, 2,987 people recovered.In the past 24 hours, 65 people died.
When will this stop, when will everything be normal again?
Give me your hand...Autor V.B.
Give a hand
It means to be a friend
And more than that
You can love me
All the way to the grave
Give me your hand
Seek comfort from me
Because you didn't give it to me
Much more than lies
Reach out to the woman waiting for you
Because I can love you
the whole century
To love you...Autor V.B.
Good luck in one drop of rain
I'm burnt out by your touch
False hopes in the air
I feel it
The pain, longing and death of our love
Rejoice in delusions
If you still have it somewhere
Defy distances
To dream at night
Cry for days
To love you ..
Together ... Author VB
In a whirlwind of hatred
in the whirlwind of war,
when you don't know who is lurking
some human skeleton,
when you ask yourself
where will you be tomorrow ...
I want to be with you
If he has to die already, he has to
let it not be
in desolate solitude
Let me not die
looking at the side of the face
Let our views,
if we have to die already,
never separately
Carnation...Autor V.B.
Blood is your color, you are the color of blood
Why are you blooming right now
when my happiness came to an end.
But, flower, let them smell your eternity too
Don't let them see the end of the future
It is an ugly ending because
you stand in the memory only as a beautiful flower
Your petals are still red
as the power of my life
Never wither, because that will break me
You will never see phenomenal love again
If you wither,
you will never experience such a thing again
Avoid evil intentions
some other people's hands
because they will only bring you torment
Open your petals
give us your blood color
Be a symbol of our love
which others wanted for themselves
Fate...Autor V.B.
You're leaving
You don't want to, but you have to
You have to, because you are destined
You're doomed
Maybe you'll come back
Maybe not
Maybe you'll stay in a field
covered with cold snow
I'll cry for your eyes
I'll cry that I won't be yours
Maybe you'll come back
You will return
I'll shower you with kisses
I will be yours forever
Prayer for you...Autor V.B.
Honey, look into my eyes ...
I'm crying for you,
I can't understand you're somewhere far away ..
Somewhere in the dark...
Are your hands calm, is your heart silent ...
If only he could see me now
Broken from pain, eyes red from crying ..
I think of you and I pray, I pray because it is dark outside ...
No, I'm not afraid of the night.
I care about you my love,
I don't know if you're okay,
I don't know if you'll come back,
I don't know ...
I just hope and pray for you