Is this all there is?

I never imagined that growing up and taking on grown-up liabilities will be a particularly harming venture. I was raised by my diligent grandparents - that came from a time when food was all that they held back nothing I thought "work ought to be a lot simpler, more wonderful, and really compensating now; can hardly hold on to deal with myself and get by for my own".

I was off-base. Furthermore, I ought to have realized it just after I began my first work. I worked my mind off, I got less and less delight from what I was doing, and the prize was, indeed, just 150 euros per month. "Is this all there is?" - I asked myself. Indeed, even following 6 years of difficult work that got me better checks, the response was "Indeed, this is everything that matters. A ceaseless need to go-go-go, acquire procure acquire, and grin while smelling your cerebrum being seared at 1000 levels of burnout."

So in September 2021 I quit my place of employment and hurled myself entirely into my thought process would be a recuperation stage. Spoiler alert: I'm not anywhere close to there, it just so happens, it's considerably more earnestly to recuperate than to go-go-go like a robot consistently.

There's an excessive amount of commotion

Being sufficiently bold to just quit and stop your life-sucking position isn't… all things considered, isn't sufficient, individuals! Nothing is ever enough when the entire life is covered by a perpetual clamor coming from all over: companions, guardians, partners, Influencers, YouTubers, TikTokers, columnists, content makers, TV shows, motion pictures, news, advisors, senseis, masters, donors, vehicles, advertisements, clock alerts, wars, and to wrap things up, your god damn inward voice. All of these sources is directing you something.

Do this, do that, stop this, STOP EVERYTHING, become this, actually no, not that, THIS, act naturally very much as I do, be valid, don't be that real, you're discouraged and have OCD, quit being discouraged and ponder, you don't contemplate enough, trust me, be useful, practice taking care of oneself, more taking care of oneself, MOOOOOORE, be social and battle for companionships, yet fck throughout your better half any time, DO IT NOW, don't wed the one you love, center around YOU, be distant from everyone else, don't be distant from everyone else, wear garments, don't wear garments, be furious, spread the adoration, practice and practice good eating habits, don't get thinner, gracious, no, you're fat, you're not fat, you're delightful, eat however much you need and let the garments fit you, purchase, BUY NOW, presently be reasonable, zero waste, moderation, outrageous moderation, industrialism, don't accumulate stuff, crowd stuff assuming it has a story, Marie Kondo, Marie Antoinette, Netflix and chill, Netflix and feel like sht, be useful, bring in cash, more cash, 5 methods for bringing in cash online FAST, live like a munk, live like a ruler, venture to the far corners of the planet, don't venture to the far corners of the planet since there's a conflict occurring, begin a video blog, a digital recording, a way of life, DO SOMETHING, you're adequate, you're a piece of sht, you're a boss, you can do anything you like, let me listen for a minute you like.

What I like is this garbage to stop briefly. I never experienced unadulterated and solid quietness. Did you? Assuming you did, if it's not too much trouble, make a few commotion and offer your experience.

So am I insane, or am I languid, or am I essentially too upset to even consider understanding how to really remake my life, when life hit me until it broke my bones? Am I the only one hearing the clamor?

Anyway, is this all there is?

An ocean of grown-ups that make the clamor and grown-ups that squander their life attempting to break the commotion?

I'm scared.

Also, I would rather not go-go-go to no place.

Any longer.

I need to remain still briefly and become myself.