I'm a girl

I'm a girl myself but I don't like girls. I want God not to give me a daughter. I really don't want my daughter to be. That's not what I hate girls for. When I see a girl wearing a small bangle, I want to take her in my arms. The mind wants to caress by dragging. Yet do you know the reason for not wanting a girl child? I'm a girl. What kind of annoyance has arisen towards oneself when one hears the difference between a boy and a girl in the face of an aunt and uncle, being neglected by everyone from a young age due to being born as a girl. I started thinking in my mind that if I was a boy I could do this job. I could live as I wished.

We were two brothers and sisters. My brother is older. I'm small. Dad was middle class. Still we were good. My parents never loved me less than my brother. The girl did not neglect. But Grandma used to tell Dad all the time.

'O Fazu (Fazlul), what will happen to Mayar who cares so much? When Maya grows up, I will marry her and send her to the next house. Maya, I will not take your family first. Pola, I will keep your name calm. Maya is the danger of the next house. How long can I keep it to myself? '

Dad used to laugh when he heard his grandmother's words. Didn't say anything. I would hug my father and say,

'Dad, I'll give you a job. I will not marry. I will not go to the next house. '

Still, my father would not talk. Ho ho laughed when he heard me. He used to kiss her on the forehead.

If the brother wanted to go somewhere, his parents would let him go later even if he didn't do it first. But he never let me go. I realized I was not safe alone. So parents do not let go anywhere. They think of me. Think of me. I was not sad about this. There were just a few questions. Why aren't girls safe alone? Why aren't they safe outside the home? Why do you need someone with them to go somewhere? When the boys go out, you don't have to take anyone with you. If they are safe alone. Then why not girls? The reason is our society? Or the fate of the girls? If a girl walks down the street alone, two or three boys will see her and talk nonsense. It is like their birthright. Even if she finds a boy alone, the girls do not make bad comments about him. Don't look with bad eyes. Why don't they look down on the boys? It may be a mistake in their teaching. But both boys and girls go to the same school, the same college, the same varsity. Guys know that no matter what we do, no one will tell us anything. Why not return home at night. No one will ask where I was. They are boys. No one can stop them from doing whatever they want.

I was a fairly good student. I was better than my brother in studies. Seba's brother did not do well in the HSC exam. Dad scolded and admitted his brother to varsity. Brother used to come home at the end of the day and tell many stories about varsity. I listened to my brother's story with my mind. I dreamed that I would also go to varsity. I will chat with friends like brother. I will get a good job.

Next time I also take the HSC exam. By the grace of God, I get much better results from my brother. The brother brought sweets and fed them all. Laughing and proudly saying,

'My sister did very well. She is a very good student. How much sweets can you eat? I will bring a sweet shop. '

I was also very happy that day. I can't explain. How happy I was that day.

After the result, the aunts used to say to the mother,

'What will the future girl do after studying so much? Now find a good looking boy and marry him. My nephew does a good job. The future has seen your daughter. '

I could no longer hear my aunt. I came home and cried a lot. My brother is one year older, no one is talking about his marriage. Then why do you want to marry me? I say girl?

I thought my father might not listen to me. Dad loves me a lot. But the grandfather of the house next door and his son came to our house one evening. Dad couldn't talk to grandpa. I heard Dad say that day,

'My uncle is not alone. You will understand better. What else can I say? '

I was very angry with my father. I am father's daughter. Dad didn't say why. I will not marry my daughter.

I told my mother,

'Brother is my elder. Then why aren't you marrying your brother? '

'Will the world work if mother Ray compares daughter to son? You grew up now. Coming from different places for your wedding. Tell me how many I will not do? When we say something, people will say we are proud of our daughter. Your grandfather and uncle will tell you first. We can't do anything outside the society. '

I said with my eyes,

'I grew up. Brother did not grow up? Society! Who made the rules of society? '

I got married to the best boy of everyone's choice. When my girlfriends called after the wedding, my husband would say,

'Why would girlfriends call ten times a day? They do not know you are married? Look, Nipu's mother doesn't like this. '

I just listened to him in amazement.

'Mom doesn't like it? '

Her son's friends come home three days a week. He called me at midnight and took me away. But mother does not like this!

After marriage, my mother-in-law used to say,

'Look, mother. You are the wife of this house. You have to adjust a little. '

I thought to myself,

'Do you always have to adapt only to girls and women? Boys, husbands do not adapt? '

My mother-in-law used to say that even if there was a quarrel between me and my husband,

'Wife is not so good as a man. Don't feed my son. It is not good for a girl to be stubborn. '

Even after marriage, I wanted to continue my studies. I told my husband this. He laughed and said,

'Our sons and daughters will be able to do what you have studied. Married now pay attention to the family. Serve my father and mother. '

I laughed to myself