One of the most common lies I've heard lately is the phrase "I understand you". People tell this lie believing that it is so natural and true that even though I feel anger at first, I remain silent with pity. I do not feel the need to use this word for others. Because after we don't understand ourselves well, after we don't know our family well, saying this word with the assumption that we are only pleasing the other person seems to me to be "talking off". I understand you without fully understanding the person, to say you is to insult that person.
Of course, to those who are aware of it.
My dear son,
Understanding people is not easy. Recently, the term "remembrance and understanding day" has been used when commemorating important personalities. This term is weird for me. What will it gain him to understand the man after his death, whom you did not understand when he was alive, or will you understand when he says "we understand"? In order to understand, we need to think and read what he wrote and read what is written about him and try to understand. How can you understand a man whose book you have not read, whom you have not even had a conversation with once in your life, with hearsay information? But our society is almost a society of understanding people. That's why he understands.
My dear son,
Of course, it's good to understand one's environment. But, like love, understanding is not just about saying "I understand". It should be supported both financially and morally. For example, saying "I understand you" to an author and not buying his book at all, making fun of him or even slandering him by saying "copy", then selling it to at least 10 people by convincing his people to buy his compatriot's book for 10 times the price, and then saying "I understand both very well, Shouldn't the man who says "I love you" be given the Nobel Prize for lying?" Now I stay away from people who come across and grin, saying, "I love everyone equally".
my dear son,
Understanding has no age. Look, you give something to a 6-year-old person, he will thank you many times. He comes and hugs you with his innocent face and kisses you. He tells his parents that he loves you too. If you do this to a 60-year-old man, “did you do something to thank him for?” says. Tell me who understands me? "The person who does not know how to thank and apologize when he made a mistake has not understood anything". If we can't stay away from people who don't know how to apologize and don't thank us, it means we are contradicting ourselves. When I realized this, I realized that our life was easier when I tried to stay away from it. We don't need anyone. Stay away from people who don't understand.
My dear son,
You don't have to listen to understand people. In order to understand a person, one has to look at empathizing with him. Is it to be hungry for a while to understand the hungry person, or is it to understand the hungry person by saying "I understand you" just for the sake of saying, and passing by without any help and then feeding your stomach to the fullest? This is why the Creator has made "fasting" obligatory. This is just an example. Think about other prayers.
My dear son,
The concept of "empathy" is abused like the concept of "understanding". Empathy means thinking by putting yourself in the other person's shoes, but people use empathy as a joke just as they understand. For example, when buying another author's book with you, the man who does not deign to buy yours but says "sponsor or find my book and newspaper" when the time comes, understands you. When you say to that man, "Ask for the help of whose book you helped," how much empathy is the man looking at you as if he came from outer space? And when he reacted, what should we say to the man who accused him of not understanding him by stating that he said these things as a joke? Putting this into words without understanding understanding and empathy allows a person to be recognized as a "liar". Many of us are not aware of this. My son, are you conscious that you are not one of the spiritually deaf who "does not hear what comes out of your mouth"?
My dear son,
It came to mind when I said understand.
Children do not understand, I have to be like moments;
The last stand for the mind is to pull out your hair.
He means that if you pretend to understand the person in front of you even if you don't accept them, then you will only have enough regrets to tear your hair out. I stay away from people who don't understand us but try to save themselves by insulting us by pretending to understand. I would like to remind those who ask, "You used to come to me, now why don't you come?" Before he reproached me, "I wonder why I didn't take him and he stayed away from me? What if you ask yourself? Staying stubbornly with people who don't understand is cruelty and torture to ourselves. When you understand this, you will be relieved. You feel more comfortable when you apply it.
My dear son,
I've been thinking a lot lately about the concepts of empathy and understanding. I have seen that as people become financially stronger, their stinginess increases at the same rate, and their feelings of compassion and mercy become dull. While they do not know what they are saying, they fall into the mirage of "We love and understand everyone equally" without even realizing that they are lying. It causes them to stay away from people who do not benefit them financially, but who like to read and write, think and approach the truth more. So, in a way, their selves are atrophied. However, if they keep the material and spiritual in balance, this will not happen. That's why the Creator's command to "be in balance" is important, but for those who understand. What to say to those who do not understand. Did our ancestors say in vain " Mosquito reeds for those who understand. For those who don't understand, little drums and clarifications”. I think that the marching band does not understand the truth even next to the song band. Let them think they are understanding.
My dear son,
Empathy and understanding are very broad concepts and books can be written about them. Therefore, it is difficult to explain in more detail in this letter. You understood the letter well and said, “My father wrote one, so I can read it and understand it well so that I can see the thousand in that one.
I kiss your eyes.
