Even though I have studied safely and got my diploma, there is only one due diligence hidden in my dreams for the last few years, which I dream of frequently.
I'm at the end of high school and I'm sweating every night with the anxiety of never finishing school.
The so-called summer vacation is coming to an end and I'm running to school in my dreams.
I enter the classroom once: no one has reserved a seat for me and I have to stay standing.
Then I catch someone's eye and hang out with him, of course he doesn't accept it.
Then the teacher of the lesson goes to the blackboard and begins to explain, although there is no bench where I sit, nor can I see the blackboard, even when I do not have a notebook and our teacher asks me to buy coffee and bring it.
Come on.
If you don't have a job, get out of the classroom and go to the canteen.
An incessant dream that I do not yet understand from where it originates.
I love being a student and want to graduate as soon as possible and after decades have passed, I am anxious in my sleep and dreams.
I would love to have a conversation with Freud, and I am constantly at war with my subconscious because this is not possible.
Maybe it's a separate anxiety threshold that developed in me after the end of my student life, after all, I took dozens of exams and interviews in my business life and here is the one that flashes on my anxiety threshold.
Even though I pushed everything away and became a housewife, the books were always by my side.
I was interested in German for a while in order to learn another foreign language, and I was interested in translation and everything that you would not think of.
I found myself writing when I believed I was getting nowhere.
And while I am surrounded by the ups and downs of my life and the nightmares that I still can't finish high school and go to university, and that I don't have the right and will never be.
Although I did not like the department I studied at the university very much, but I somehow managed it.
Maybe it's because I can't digest a game played by all my dear friends from the past, which makes me sweat in my dreams.
A love letter written to me from the name of the boy I like, and my friend, who was a part of this game years later, is taking the broad beans out of his mouth.
We wrote that letter to you.
Think.
I can't feel the game and fake love of all my friends that I have in my heart, and how sure I am that they love me so much.
My favorite years and my dear school.
That I was always proud of and worked hard and got my diploma rightfully. Just in this job.
I can no longer feel the air that warmed my heart every time I passed by my school, and I still can't believe that my dear friend is a part of this game and hides.
Interestingly, the mood I felt while writing was one-on-one with Gülüm in high school.
The first day I started writing, I walked through the opened door and teleported to my high school self.
However, I am a thousand years old.
However, I left something unfinished with different professions and jobs that I fit into my miserable professional life...
Bingo.
Here is the keyword:
Everything left unfinished and my dreams.
Rest assured, I am still writing with the same feelings and thoughts, just as I put on my high school identity card and placed the reader and my teachers in my heart.
That's what love is.
About whether I am loved or not, which I can easily love for no reason and do not question.
In fact, I cannot say that I do not question one hundred percent, but my spirit and enthusiasm accompany my pen in the same parallel.
I will never be able to finish high school at this rate, ignoring the diplomas I have added on top of it and swimming in the deep with enthusiasm, I forgot that I don't know how to swim...
I have always been faithful to my dreams and dreams, and to all my loved ones, although I cannot claim that life and all people are faithful to the ban, but I love and write involuntarily, and I often see that dream involuntarily, it is a dream that I can never get rid of at this rate. after that dream and you have so much share in it.
I took my place in the roll call.
