Instead of being afraid of loneliness, one should reach oneness

I bowed my head for a long time. Like a prisoner, as if caught in the winter frost, I was standing on the red line that would be death if I took a step on the edge of the cliff. All those years lived, questions, friendships, loves, loves, worldly things that never came to me, who wanted to exist but always disappeared.

It brought my head closer to the ground. I suddenly felt my neck burning and tingling. I quickly raised my head. The sun was so high above me that it burned astonishingly. It wasn't scorching me, but it was making me sweat and suffocating. My eyes were no longer dazzled. It is possible to stare at it for a long time and I could see the firestorms breaking through it.

There was nothing on my right or left that I was used to.

I was alone.

When I felt that he was there, he was gone.

I looked for a cave. Did not have.

There was a vast land and neither greenery nor brushwood. I was silent, a mood had taken over me.

Who would I get help from, who would get me out of here? I was struggling with the unknown and the mood in which my habits disappeared. You know, if they say work, earn money, if I go to a supermarket, buy anything, eat and drink...

I closed my eyes. What dreams and experiences were listed at that moment. There was nothing that my hand used to touch. But they were all speaking tongue-in-cheek. “We poisoned the world for you, but you did not see it. You dreamed that you could get closer and get us as you wanted us.

What dream was this, you did not think about and did not even remember.

What greens did you burn in those targets,

what friendships have you ended,

What love have you betrayed?

You tried to stay in the world without stopping like a swamp pulling you. You fluttered.

You drank our poison as you fluttered.

You struggled with our hallucinations. Look around, there is nothing around. Because you never saw your fire, the sun came closer to you. He has no toy left. We're done with poisoning you. We have such poison in their veins. He no longer accepts poison in him. Even talking to us in this predicament is comforting to you, despite all the negativity.” After this conversation, he was looking for dark light in his eyes. He couldn't even open his eyes. His tongue was dead and his eyes looked like they were going to pop out. There was no wind, wind, earthquake, volcanic lava and news anymore. The fun and life-destroying passion of the virtual world was over.

It touched your heart.

There was no signal.

Even he was no longer struggling to live.

It had stalled for ten years.

How wrong was it to trust that he would take every shot and guarantee it, he said inwardly. How could he live if the heart did not beat? He was thinking. More than this absence, it was a situation he was not used to. The burning and sweating of the sun was so painful.

You know, if it was in a cave, even if it was a grave. At least an insect sound could see the presence of decay and ash in that grave. After a while, nothing would bother his body anymore. It would be earth. Even if being part of the land was something he had never thought of, he was willing even to her. At least the sun wouldn't burn. Although she had always been afraid of the dark, she could not bear even its light right now. You know when you suffer, after a while the pain will end. There was no end to it. Nobody was coming to his rescue.

All the objects of the world had disappeared. If he were the savior, he would scream the curses he never did and he would put his arrogance under his feet. He had a nafs that could never be satisfied, where was he? The devil who always calls to temptation and fun.

Where was the evil? Even they had already left. What about a loving mother? He used to say that he is always with me. No matter what he suffered, he would cling to his bosom and forget, no matter what evil had lived. It wasn't there. There was neither a lover nor a hater. There was no history, nothing that he never took a lesson from, that he did not wonder about, and that there was no such thing as the future. Even at night she had left him. Even time didn't know what it was now. Maybe he was dead too.

That he never thought, that he did not struggle to think. Now he had appeared, a fire burning across him like a mountain. There was nothing left to give a message, except fire. Even if he walked, his traces disappeared, and the being that originated from him was saying goodbye behind him. maybe a word like open sesame would save him. This would end the nightmare. When everything was poisoning him, what was it that kept him alive, what was protecting him? He must have done something good because so many memories and lifetimes were filled with him. What did he believe? Perhaps this belief kept him alive. It will surely be the most realistic and will surround you with an iceberg. He will still live as he did back then, and perhaps what he memorized, knowing his flaws, surrendering, taking refuge. That belief!

Don't know if he remembered. But it is a goodness, a beautiful thing that we feel we experience, a kindness that saves us from the evils and comparisons of others. One key.

We must wrap our way with our faith.

Instead of looking for light, instead of being afraid of loneliness, instead of waiting for a miracle, instead of worrying about absence, one should reach this belief and oneness. He must find out who to surrender to, who will be his friend, and hug him alone. It should never be separated from him!