I'm on the verge of a suffocating night and I'm home alone

Long after the days I slept, I am far away while relying on colors and even darkness, and when I set up my life over and over again with a lot of difficulty and set the alarm.

Recurring night.

One night before.

The shadows that explain my uneasiness and that smell of death in the apartment will cling to me while I don't know.

On the other hand, I am summarizing the so-called racial aspirations of my life in the eyes of commonplace discourses, as much as I own my life and loneliness, I know that I am not alone, but after all, I am a human being and the self-confidence and peace of living alone have already been violated.

Mysterious people.

Oaths hidden in the sermons.

I can never express the difficulties I went through during that process, and I'm just in a hurry to live a life with dignity and honor that is faithful to my direction and God, and thank God I succeed.

There is a heavy smell of backbiting in the air, and even though I live alone, my dear family lives very close to me and my mother keeps her presence on me every day.

A life I live aimlessly and living myself when I'm still too young but already retired.

While I was forced to live alone for countless private and family reasons and my dream world was on the run, my friends had already emigrated.

My dear friend, my female friend whom I love more than my sister...

The one I haven't seen for a long time, only phoned but loved more than my life.

A friendship of thirty years: when I shared the same class and the same ranks, and then I was his only supporter in his life journey.

No matter how conservative I am, he is like me and he has a happy home married to the man he loves, while I support him for a lifetime.

Continuing problems: In this period when I have collapsed financially and morally, I have not met my pen yet and I have become nothing.

Are those values ​​missing?

-Don't make a sound.

- Treat everyone with respect and love.

Of course, when you always kept this at the forefront and I was the most harmless person in the world.

I'm dealing with a lot of problems.

My mother's slow onset health problems.

If my brother is very young and easy, talk about it.

At that time I was living alone and the only guest in my house is my brother: the neighbors even look at him with suspicion. But can't my brother come to my house?

Of course, it comes, even if it is rare, and when that period was the beginning of everything, after all, the house I live in belongs to us and when I was a quiet person who lived without making a sound even though I was not a tenant...

Then someone who has just moved into the apartment and I am declared the woman's worst enemy, whereas a young couple is the one who has just moved into the apartment, but how do I know that a schizophrenic female neighbor will hug me?

His cruelty to me and his baseless lies.

The only sound in the house, my caged budgerigar, is such that even the song of the wretched bird stings the woman.

Everything just comes together and I just feel the need to talk to someone and we're having a hard-fought friendship with my childhood friend.

The one who always loved when I was me.

The one who always takes it from the bottom when it's me.

When I was always myself, I was guilty and here is the presence of the pen.

I write short poems and short essays, but I don't even dwell on them, but a site where I started to share what I wrote when the peace of writing started: of course, this is the last door that opens to me in my writings and friendship with you.

I just want to share this with my dear friend and I am incredibly worried in any case, the troubles and problems that have taken me prisoner and I open my heart to my dear friend:

You know, I'm a member.

What membership?

literature

How so? You and literature.

I just realized that I can write. He is proud that my friend is with me and…

She hangs up on my face suddenly and I'm on the verge of a sultry and suffocating night and I'm home alone. I don't even feel like calling my mother.

And I dial his phone, my friend even dropped it, so I call him again with my naivete.

It's eleven and night is falling on me.