For a brief moment, you didn't look back and see me

I'm having a dream again, the scream of the day.

I keep silent as I stare in fear.

Actually, I wanted to tell you first. I couldn't.

It was a habit that lasted for years on my tongue, I thought it would be solved with your name.

Turns out I was wrong in the worst way.

How could I explain to someone who never lived?

I collect new memories at night.

For example, I have a dream in which the sky is divided into two.

An opening song where the apocalypse howls as if to say "I have come" and the disgusting tone of that song that burns my liver.

An in-between me and the uneasiness of those I keep silent about what I say.

I don't have a bright memory of myself anymore.

I often see darkness in my eyes. The desire not to look in the mirror is actually just that.

I know that one day your fears will come to an end, and with the daring courage of my most frightened state, I will throw myself into the void from the edge of the highest abyss.

Don't quote me from my previous state.

New selves are born every night in my bed, caused by that dark life inside me.

I stopped.

I should have stopped.

It was the right thing to do in my opinion.

When I was immersed in that dream...

You used to ask me the reason for the unnecessary smile on your face.

The grin on my face was because I finally got rid of my fears. That's why I couldn't tell you, I said "no, I'm so immersed" and passed you off.

However, I was looking at my corpse from afar, I couldn't tell you that.

“Sometimes the remnants of dreams stick to one's skin and we carry them to reality every time we wake up.

The distance between reality and dream decreases gradually, and one day we will dive into the bosom of dreams with our eyes open, defiantly the light of day.”

That's how I was defeated, in your words. That moment that I thought was my past, I combined both worlds in one time.

My soul is slipping into the dark.

I hear your voice. Memories fill the place of your erased face. A warm touch reaches out to keep me from falling, but whether it's real or imagined, even my awareness can no longer realize it.

Maybe you were the dream from the very beginning and I did all this so that you could be real without realizing it.

Fortunately, none of it matters anymore, I've already burned down all the borders.

I can't call out to you, my voice is drowning in what I forgot. I'm sad, but I'm too out of control to worry.

I don't even need to know my punishment, after all, I can't bear the pain of what I forgot.

My voice is drowning between what I said and what I wanted to say.

I have the plague of an unheard cry in my lungs.

Come on, tell me one more tale, what would you do, engrave your voice in my mind so that it does not succumb to time.

I changed.

I wouldn't want to torture my patience. I didn't want to kill the only force holding me up, but I crushed it mercilessly to make it stronger.

I resisted.

I walked on aimless roads, crushed cities, killed days, turned all the signs to myself.

I waited…

I waited for you to come to me.

I waited, as if centuries came and went, but you were not the only one.

I resisted, so that your voice would not be erased from my ears, I did not let any other human voice into my mind.

But a person who succumbs to time, I learned this by experience.

This road has no end.

I'm falling from the abyss that my silences have raised inside me, into the wordlessness.

This road has no end, I'm paving it with my own pieces, near another absence so that it doesn't end.