Ways to build your children's psychological resilience

Stress is an integral part of life not only for us adults but also for children. Not wanting to share their toys, not getting along with their friends at school, not knowing what to do when they are angry and many similar situations can cause children to face stress just like adults. In such situations, children need to be strong to protect their mental health, find solutions to problems, and control their emotions and reactions; in other words, they need to have developed psychological resilience.

Although psychological resilience is referred to under different names in the literature, such as resilience, resilience or resilience, it is actually based on the ability to stand strong in the face of difficulties, to manage reactions, to find alternative solutions and to keep moving forward. In other words, children need to develop psychological resilience skills in order to be able to quickly recover from a challenge or negative emotion and come up with healthy ideas about what to do next. And parents have a lot of work to do in this regard.

Because research shows that resilient children have at least one supportive adult in their lives. Psychologically resilient children are raised by parents who know how to cope with stress, problem solve, identify emotions, relate to others, make good decisions, empathize and accept. If you want to increase your child's capacity to cope with challenges, help them develop strong emotional coping skills and a resilient mind, there are many things you can do to help them do this.

Spend one-on-one time with your child. Stop checking the work you are doing or the emails on your phone and focus solely on your child. Listen to him/her, understand his/her feelings, talk about what is going on in his/her life, what is happening at school. Let them feel your support, that you are there for them no matter what. Guide their play, help them learn new things, strengthen their communication skills. Most importantly, show your unconditional love, tell him/her that you will listen to him/her when he/she needs you, ask him/her if there is anything he/she wants to share. In this way, you can strengthen the bond between you and ensure that he/she communicates with you in both good and difficult times.

Support your child, but don't try to solve every little problem or frustration. For example, if your child wasn't invited to a birthday party or didn't get what they wanted on their birthday, talk about how they are feeling instead of trying to solve the problem. Avoid anticipating or immediately preventing potential problems for your child.

Guide him/her to deal with difficult situations and challenging emotions. Discuss what he or she can do, but don't eliminate the problem. Otherwise you will prevent them from developing coping skills. Make space for every emotion he/she experiences to build resilience in the face of challenges. Let him experience what he feels first and then talk to you to find a solution.

One of the most effective ways to develop problem-solving skills is to dare to take risks, regardless of age. We know that all parents want their children to be safe at all times and to eliminate all possible risks. However, wrapping children in cotton wool, that is, trying to protect them from everything, negatively affects their healthy development. Healthy risks, on the other hand, push children out of their comfort zone and allow them to experience the joy of experimentation and learning even if the situation fails and results in the least possible harm.

For example, trying a new sport, interacting with unfamiliar peers, participating in the games of unfamiliar groups are healthy risks. When children avoid risks, they internalize the message that they are not strong enough to cope with challenges; when they embrace risks, they learn to push themselves and develop strong coping skills.

Remember that children are very good observers. The best way to teach them is to show them, that is, to model. If you fail to react appropriately when faced with negative emotions or difficulties, fail to find solutions and exhibit inappropriate behaviors, your children may repeat the same.

For example, if you yell and scream, hit and break things around you in the face of a situation that stresses or angers you, your children may internalize these behaviors and exhibit the same ones. Therefore, if you want your children to be psychologically resilient, to take a strong stance in the face of challenging circumstances and to come up with calm solutions, you should do all these things yourself first.