Glossophobia: A Public Servant’s Anathema 

A Feature Story.

There is something in the eyes of the poor, of the weak, and of the helpless that lure us in, drowning us in an unexpected surging of determination inside us to reach out and help. It takes a brave soul and a selfless heart to be able to take on the responsibility and burden of being a leader. But despite all the good qualities that people use to address them, no matter how ideal and perfect they may seem. It doesn’t hide the fact that they are just normal people too. They can be hurt, they get excessively anxious, and they get scared the same way we do.

For a public servant whose work revolves around helping a lot of people and being active in social events, it sure is hard when you are actually shy and aloof. Since they focus on how to keep their anxieties at bay, these folks often get mistaken as snob, intimidating, and cold. And it is all because of how they spend all their energy in doing what they must, totally not caring about the way people perceive them. But not everything we see is actually what it seems. Not all the smiling friendly faces are your friends and not all the stern-looking ones are the real fiends. 

We view public servants as formidable, strong-willed individuals who are not afraid of stepping up to make a change and gets the work done. They are the leaders of the community, ought to set good examples to their constituents. But giving service to the public is not like a walk in the park. Problems may present itself when you least expect it and conflicts are too cliché, no one will wonder why they even exist. And it is their duty to cater to the people’s needs, and help them out with anything that is still part of their job description. Funny though, it is quite ironic for a public servant to be actually afraid of speaking in public. You can just imagine the daily struggle they go through everyday just to be able to carry on with their responsibilities.

 Public service requires a person to have a lot of confidence and high self-esteem to be able to present oneself effectively to a crowd of unacquainted, often penurious but sometimes intimidating people. A life chosen to live in servitude entails a lot of decision-making, sacrifices, risky situations and unexpected failures. But amidst all the negativities that this job bring about, there is always joy and love as consolation. Nothing compares to the delight a simple thanks brings to the heart. Without really expecting anything in return for all the hard work, as long as people appreciate the things they do.

It is normal to be nervous on the first day on the job, but for someone who constantly feels so drained and nervous all the time, even doing something you love can be tough. For Mrs. ‘Sonya’, a mother, a wife, and a certified public servant—sacrificing her needs for the people that actually needs help the most is one of the most fulfilling although also the hardest part of her job. Putting her duty before anything else, there is nothing she regret more than the lost time she could have spent with her family especially her children. But seeing them all with their own jobs, living their own lives, she concluded how those sacrifices are worth every single sweat and headache she had to go through. Six years in service felt like days full of fond memories with only too little regret to spare.

She was brought up in a household of very hardworking parents and even as a little tyke, she recognized the importance of doing house chores in preparation for the future. Despite her bubbly and lively disposition, she is really a timid, introverted girl who is totally scared of public speaking. And when asked why, it appears that she, among all the other people who are terrified with public speaking, may not have the same answer. At first, she was very reluctant to speak about it, but after a few minutes of contemplation she spoke ever so slowly. “It is because I am not fluent in speaking English and I am most comfortable with our native tongue.” Many years later, the little Sonya who loves to work for others was then endorsed to run for a position with even bigger obligations. Even though she carried the encumbrance of being unreasonably afraid of speaking all the time, she eventually learned how to just live with the terror of being glossophobic. And if you would see her now and how she does her job, you wouldn’t have even the slightest idea how she feared public speaking.

Growing up, she recalled how she used to hate doing reports and announcements. She cannot stand how uncomfortable it is to be standing defenselessly in a crowd full of eyes all looking up at you, full of scrutiny and unaccustomedness. It was a miracle and sure did need a lot of practice for her to be able to just introduce herself and mingle with folks her age. Trying to look pass this defect, as she may call it, she has undergone a lot of changes to be able to adapt to the world. She later on realized how there is so much more out there to discover and learn laying past her fears and doubts. And after a moment of clarity and a few considerations, she has accepted the offer of running for Barangay Kagawad after being endorsed by a former one. And she looks back to all the things that were said and done, she understood what life was trying to teach not only her, but all of us. Fear is nothing but the reflection of our doubts, anxiety and desires. We should know better than to always succumb to it and lose every single time.

“The fear of facing your fears is harder to overcome than the fear itself.” If fear is what keeps us alive, then wouldn’t that be a waste of time? You’ll end up using all your time in worrying, you forget what it means to be actually living.

A/N: Hello! I'm just a newbie. Let's support each other. ^^