Not a Pushover

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Avatar for thepandagirl
3 years ago
Topics: Relationship

It's been days already but this distressing feeling can't seem to get off me. I've been thinking a lot how I'll say the right words towards the people I badly want to tell it to. I've been doing my best so far just to be able to extend help to some of my friends who will be having a special occasion coming up. But what they did, and who knows they might still do it in the next days makes me feel awful and dissapointed. I can't help but to view them negatively.

Most of my friends are in a serious relationship and some are even getting married. I'm still young and not in the slightest, insterested in getting in a complicated situation of getting in a relationship (I may just be overeacting, but relationships seem complicated to me), but people around me are pressuring me to be like them, to imitate them.

There's this one friend who trying to set me up to his friend who is almost my fathers age! I was not bothered by it at first because I thought that he was just kidding, but it happened over and over again and now I'm certain that he is indeed trying to set me up with that old man. I feel really mad and it's been bothering me for days now. I hate just to even think about it. I may be over reacting right now, but I feel like they don't even respect me. Now I'm starting to doubt our friendship. I don't want to be friends with them anymore!

Some people think that all single people will take very opportunity to find a mate. Some, though they may be doing it out of concern, are trying to be an unsolicited matchmakers and sets up their friends or anyone they know whenever there is an opportunity. But it's not a good idea nor a good move. Some may be okay with the idea but most of the time, it feels very awkward and embarassing. Just like what I'm feeling right now. I used to respect the old man because he's a really nice person. And he seemed like an older brother to me, but never in my wildest dream have I ever imagined that these people will think about setting me up with them. I feel like they are treating me like a pushover, considering the fact that I have a really high standard when it comes to guys and dating. I'm firm with my decision that if it's not even close to 50% of my standards, I'd rather die alone and single without experiencing the joys of being in a relationship.

Some may say that age doesn't matter, but it matters to me! I can't tolerate a 25 years difference. I don't know if I can still show respect to them if they try one more time to set me up to just anyone out there when I'm trying my best to enjoy the joys of being single.

If you have friends who's trying to stay single please consider these words:

  • Not all singles are desperate to find a mate.

  • Instead of teasing someone for being single and telling them that they'll be out of the calendar soon, or that they are getting older without anyone to lean on, commend them for choosing to stay single.

  • Don't make things awkward for them by setting them up with anyone.

  • Respect their choices and their decisions.

  • Happiness is not determined by being single or in a relationship. Either of this two can make people happy depending on a person's view of things.

It's been so long since I wrote an article here, and yet here I am spewing these nonsensical words. Pardon me but I just want to vent my anger and this is the only way I can think of. I'm also hoping that someone might understand and say comforting words somehow.

Writing what I'm feeling is the best way to say what I really want to say without any disruption. Without anyone saying that they disagree with me. These are my own thoughts and if you don't agree, please go ahead and find other articles that makes sense! - @thepandagirl🐼

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Avatar for thepandagirl
3 years ago
Topics: Relationship

Comments

Very well said. You can send that terrible friend the link of this post or simply say the friendship is over due to a huge lack of respect. Other options: ask that friend how much they old guy pays him for arranging a marriage, tell your friend you are gay, tell the old guy you are not interested.

In short a 'delete' button exists in real life too not only on a computer. I told an old, elderly friend he gave me stress and I no longer wanted to befriended with him. With that the 'friendship' was over.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Thanks for saying that, now I feel better that someone understands me. If that friend will do it again, I might just avoid them.

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3 years ago

Be honest because it's the only way. It's your right to live your life the way you like. If a real friend doesn'respect you, can't understand it's no friendship. 🍀

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3 years ago