Hatred

I hate you.

I hate you for bringing me into this word.

No matter what they say,

What you all say.

I still blame you for all these.

I didn’t ask to be given this life.

Nor am I not thankful for this life.

I am tired of living,

I am tired of being your daughter.

I am tired of being your family.

I am tired.

I am tired of everything.

I detest you.

I hate you for making a family,

A family that you can’t properly take care of.

I hate you for being my father,

I hate you for being my mother.

My heart is full of animosity, resentment, and bitterness,

Resentment for the people responsible for my existence.

I used to love you.

You used to be the people I think of first when I’m hurt,

When I’m lonely,

When I’m in trouble.

But you all have changed.

You’re no longer the people you used to be.

And now all I have left for you is bad blood.

They say family is everything,

And no matter what happens,

Even if you turn the world upside down,

Even if the earth rotates and revolves faster than normal,

Until the end of the world,

They’re still your parents.

They’re still your family.

And there is no way to change that fact.

How I wish I could change that though.

But I must be a fool,

I must be a fool for wishing for the impossible,

I must really be a fool.

What's the matter with you?

You said you don’t give a d**n,

You don’t give a d**n about whatever that happens to us.

Cause you care about your friends more.

You care about pleasing your friends more.

You care about what they’ll say, but not what we’ll.

Why would you prioritize the people who shouldn’t matter more?

Why would you abandon your family?

I thought time will change you.

I thought saying a few words, will make you change,

I hoped that it will add some sense in you,

That you’ll be somehow moved to change,

But no. It was all a hopeless thought.

I’m a changed person now,

I won’t be affected by these circumstances that I can’t change,

There’s no good in crying over spilled milk.

You won’t change, but I can,

I can’t change the situation, but I can change myself.

I won’t tire myself now thinking about things and situations I don’t have control over,

I won’t waste my life resenting you,

I'm not going to waste my time stifling my disdain.

This is a God-given life I have to treasure,

You could be the reason I was conceived and born into this world.

But my life was not from you.

I decided to tressure it,

I'm no longer the kind of person who'd rather take my own life than confront the challenges.

I’m not the immature young girl who’d kill herself because of problems.

I’ve changed and I know I could be a better person.

I’d tressure my life,

I detest you, but I don’t detest my life.

I’ll hang in there. Even if there’s no reason to.

And maybe one day..

Just maybe..

Maybe there will be a change.

I’m not sure what it is yet,

But I’ll hope for a better situation.

Maybe I’ll be in a different circumstance.