I grew up in a family where the word 'sorry' weights a lot. I grew up not saying sorry for the mistakes I did, I never heard my parents say sorry to each other whenever they had a misunderstanding. And I was never thought how to say sorry!

I didn't grow up in an environment that is healthy for a child. I grew up hearing screaming and insults. I was insulted, I was bullied, and I was hurt physically and mentally. Growing up with all the negativities made it so hard for me to learn how to forgive. Though I have a better relationship with my parents now, there is still a lingering sadness and hatred it my heart. I just can't seem to forget all the troubles I went through because I was their child. It's so hard to forgive them. I'm an adult and I shouldn't dwell in the past and forget all the offenses people made against me.

This is what I thought and firmly believed several years back. But through the years, I was able to let go of bitterness and negative feelings. Somehow, I did forgive them. It was hard but I managed to do it.

Why? Because I learned that a life filled with resentment, anger and bitterness is not good for my health. And neither it makes me happy. I'm not happy and my heart aches every time I think of how unloved I am as a child.

I chose to forgive and forget. Studies shows that people who doesn't forgive are inclined to...

• Become easily depressed.

• Become easily anxious and offended even with simple mistakes.

• Become lonely and isolate themselves thus resulting to having sour relationship with others.

• Become too focused on resenting others and find it hard to be happy.

• Have a higher risk of getting some diseases such as high blood pressure, pain disorder, heart disease and headache.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is the act of pardoning someone who offends you, letting go of resentment or anger, and removing any thoughts of revenge towards someone. Forgiveness does not mean that we condone a wrong doing or serious mistake or even pretending that it didn't happen at all. But it means, a well thought personal choice that shows we want to have peace with someone, and to build and maintain a good relationship with them.

When we forgive, we show that we have a wide understanding. We understand and admit that we all are imperfect and thus can make mistakes whether it is through spoken words or deeds. Forgiveness shows love. It is the perfect facet of love.

Here are the positive effects of forgiveness:

• Having a healthier relationship with our loved ones.

• Acquiring the feelings of empathy, compassion and understanding.

• It can improve our mental and physical health.

• Less worries, less anxiety, less hostility

Yes, based on my own personal experience, forgiveness is indeed hard. It,'s easy to tell someone to be more forgiving, but it is hard to do it once you are in the situation.

Tips on how to forgive:

• Understand what it involves to forgive. Like what is already previously mentioned, forgiving doesn't mean we forget about what happened. Forgiving means letting go of the offense.

• Know that not forgiving has consequences. Like what is mentioned earlier, forgiving is not good for our health. It has risks and that may result to worse problems like falling into depression.

• Know that forgiving has benefits. When we forgive, we foster love instead of resentment and anguish.

• Be realistic. Keep in mind that we are all imperfect and are inclined to do something wrong or make a mistake. If the mistake done is so simple, why not just forgive? Don't focus on the flaws of others and keep in mind that we can also make mistakes.

• Initiate an apology. It is hard to ask for apology specially of you know that you are bot the one at fault, but sometimes being the firsts to say sorry will move the other person to feel sorry too and once that happens, you will be moved to forgive him/her.

It is really hard to forgive at times, but when we practice being more forgiving no matter how hard it is, we will be happier. That's what I'm trying to do and I hope you do as well. - @thepandagirl 🐼