"Hold her down!" The doctor shouted out. Two aids and several nurses try and hold me down as I toss and turn.
As if I were in a nightmare and can't be waken, the aid held my head straight while the doctor put in an oxygeon mask on me, to calm me down.
I breathed heavily then calmed soon I fell ito a deep sleep and hoped that I would never wake up here again.
***
"What do you think?" A nurse asked another who was writing something down on her clipboard.
Shrugging her shoulders, she said that I was most likely to be sent to Aslyum for help and protection; from me and society.I didn't need protection or help, I need blood, want blood.
To hear my victims scream for mercy, broken glasses all over me, their blood all over me. I want to lie in my tub full of blood.
There was a knock at the door, but I refused to answer, that and well I'm still strapped on, but I didn't spoke a word.Opening the door, the nurse comes in to give me medicine.
"I heard you all going to take to Asylum." I said staring up at the celing.The nurse nodded her head but I can tell that she wanted to know how I knew about the whole "sending me to Asylum" thing.
After my medicine, I decided to take a nap while dinner was being made.
***
I was but a litte girl when I first started, nine years in fact. I wanted to know what a murder thinks after he has comitted his deed.
I crept into my brother's room who has been abusive to me, my friends, and well everyone.
He was so busy doing who knows what that he didn't notice me.Tapping his shoulders hard, he turned around furiously and shouted.
"What?!"
Then he began to quiver and shake with fear when he was the seradded knife I held in my hands."Wh-What are you doing with that?" He asked stammering.
No answering his question, I raised the knife up high and lashed it down his throat, refusing him to give him time to cry for help or mercy.
The blood of my brother gushed all over the floor, himself, and me. And for the first time, I tasted it, tasted good, oh so good. I wanted more.
***
"Dinner time sweet." A nurse said lightly shaking me with one hand while the other held a tray with my food.
I woke up with the straps no longer on me, securing me.
Sitting up straight, I asked what was for dinner all in a while, yawning. Revealing my meal that was under the cover, I notice it was the same thing I had yesterday.
I didn't care, I was used t eating the same things over and over again.I dismissed the nurse out of my room so I can eat alone and in peace. Not like there is any peace here...or silence.
"It's always the same." I said to myself with a heaving sigh.
***
I hardly ate anything, I wasn't at all hungery, nor thristy for the fact of knowing I will be out of this hell hole and in another.
I just wanted to go back to were everything started, if I haven't gotten caught, things could go much smoother than it is now. I would have been lying in my tub full of blood.
With the broken glasses cutting my body, the limp bodies of my victims lying cold and dead around me, and the smell of death, will smell like spring time for me.
The nurse came back to gather the meal I hardly ate then gave me my usual medicine. An anti-depression which sucked and many other medicines which sucked.
"You're going to have a roommate Minerva" The Doctor said who just strolled in with apprentaly my new roommate.I looked into her eyes, they were black, like mine but I also saw a hint of grey.
"I'll leave you too to it." The Doctor said motioning for the nurse to follow in which she did.Closing the door, silence, for the first time filled the whole scenario.
"Why did they put you in here for?" I asked trying to have a nice conversation.T
he girl said nothing but pointed out the window.Getting up from my bed, I looked over at the window to see the police, firemen, paparazzi, and many people gathering around an investigation.
From what I saw down there was blood. Fresh, crimson blood. I licked my lips and not turning around, I aksed whose blood it was.
Sighing, the girl rolled towards me in her wheel chair and softly said.
"It's mine."
***
I was taken aback when she told me whose blood it was.
"It-It's you blood?!" I asked stammering a bit. The girl nodded and explained she tried to escape from her for they were going to sent her to Aslyum.
Therefore, she ran as fast as she could and jumpped out the window, only to break her back and other things.
I was mighty surprised she was alive for a jump that high, you would have been dead.
She also told me she is known by many as the "living dead girl"."It's impossible for me to die. I was born weak therefore I am too weak to die." She said rolling towards her new bed.Taking one last glance outside, I turn bak to my bed and turned on the TV.
We settled on a movie, The Grudge."I'm Minerva, what's your name?" I asked shifting my head away from the screen.I thought I saw her smile a bit. "Nyx, my name's Nyx."
***
The next moring, we couldn't believe what we heard or saw. We were actually going to Aslyum.
"I'll be by your side always." I whispered to her, holding her hand tightly but not too tight to crush her bones.Nodding her head a little bit, the nurses, aids, doctors, and policemen all came to send us to Aslyum. At first I wondered why the policemen.
There are too many people and plus I don't go all crazy in broad daylight.
"Come on hurry up! Let's not wait for the grass to grow!" The driver said impatiently as we were being dragged inside the truck, making room for there were other people like us.
After shaking hands with the doctor, the driver and his partner went in and drove us all to Aslyum.
***
The journey was long, from the mental hospital to Aslyum.
A woman possibly in her thirty's was chewing on her nail while speaking a language I've never heard of before.A man, curled into a ball and said, "It's just a dream. It's just a dream."
The only person who got my attention was a nineteen looking year old boy with a blank impressionless look on his face.He had a tattoo on the left side of his neck and a rosario necklace around his neck.
"I'm Minerva and this is Nyx. What's your name." I said waiting for the answer that didn't come.I tried asking again but I get the same response. Silence.
I felt a tap of a finger on my shoulder, turning my head, I saw a woman point to his name tag.
'Trevor Dantes.'
***
Even though everyone was sound asleep or snoring, I was still awake, trying to remember anything about Trevor.'I've heard of him before and I think I've seen him. But where?' I thought.
I also noticed that Trevor was also awake but lying down, he was looking at me, but I can tell he was looking past my eyes.
Finally taking up the courage to go sit next to him, I got up and walked towards him. He scootched over to try and make room.
"My name's Trevor Dantes," Trevor wrote down on a notepad. "I'm going to Aslyum because people are afraid of me."
I nodded my head understanding. People too are afraid of me, but for diffrent reasons but I wondered why they were afriad of Trevor, he seemed nice.
***
We arrived at Aslyum early the next day. I was a bit surprised the drive never slept but then again, he's probaly used to it.
Unlocking the door, they let us all out. I turn my head around ninty degrees to see Trevor picking up Nyx bridal style, to help her to her wheel chair.
Two men came by in protective gear to help out Nyx into her wheel chair. So eventhough we're in a diffrent place, peopel around her still fear Trevor, why?!
Inside, we all hear people moaning, shouting, fighting, and cursing."I'm scared." Nyx whispered holding my hand tightly, maybe a little too tight for I felt pressure on my hand.
"In here." The guard said gesturing a room for me, Nyx, and Trevor.
Once we went in, he closed the door and locked us in complete darkness.Finding a light switch, Trevor turned it on; when the lights came on, we saw maybe a thousand of other people just like us.But I strongly believe that no one will be like me.
***
Lying in a tub full of blood, I stare up at the Goth-like ceiling.
Taking a hand full of broken glass and clenching them tightly.
The glass cuts through my hands and blood drips down.
Lying in a tub full of blood, I thought to myself,
Was it wrong that I did it in the past and now?
Was it wrong that I have a passion for it?
Was it wrong that I love the feel of bloody humans?
With the glass still in my hands,
I drop them into the tub.S
plashing the bloody water with my body,
I let the glass cut my skin.
Not a scream,
not a shudder,
not a whisper.
Only the sound of my thoughts and the blood.
Is it wrong that I love the feel of sharp items?
Is it wrong that I love bathing in blood?Is it wrong that I love the taste of a victim’s blood?
Lying in a tub full of blood, I go down deep until I drown.
'Drown, oh how would I love to drown in my tub full of my victims' blood. To have the broken glass cut through my skin. I would be in heaven.' I thought not caring to notice the drool I had formed.
Noticing my drool, Trevor picked up a napkin from a nearby table and wiped it off my face."Thanks." I said as he nodded his head as a sign of saying, "you're welcome."
***
A boy with long hair and a skirt walked up to us and smiled a warm smile."I'm Samara, I'm a mtf. Male to female transgender. I'm here because my parents think I'm out of my mind. Who are you guys and why are you here?" Samara said placing her hands behind her back.
"I'm Nyx, I was here because I tried committing suicide, so my back is broken severley." Nyx said putting her hands on her lap."Trevor," He wrote down. "I'm here because people are afraid of me."
At last I spoke about me."And I'm Minerva. I'm here because I lie in a tub full of blood."
***
At dinner, Samara and her two friends, Ryan and Lyla all invited us newbies to their table.
"So you lie in a tub full of your murdered victims?" Ryan asked taken aback by what I love doing.
Nodding my head, I took a bite of the food they've sent us. I have no clue what it is, but it was good tasting."What do we do after this?" I asked throwing my stuff away.
"Well after we eat dinner, we do whatever we please." Lyla said licking her lips.
Samara told us that she was here because she thinks everything is food.We decided to go outside, but we were informed not to go pass or else we would be electrocuted.
Once we stepped outside, we heard a loud scream from a man and shouts from the police for reinforcements and to try and calm the man down.
It didn't work, the man kept on flinging his arms, trying to escape, so they had to put him in a straight-jacket."That is the fiftieth person who had to be set in a straight jacket." Ryan said with a heaving sigh.
***
As the sun started to set, everyone started calming down somewhat."Night time is the only time we're not being watched. We can do whatever the hell we want. It's great!" Lyla whispered both seductive and terrifying.
I knew exactly what I wanted to do, but do I dare in front of a crowd so many? And pray tell might the others think of me.
"No need to worry. We are all the same, outcasts. No one will tell you diffrent." Trevor wrote down on his notepad with both a concern and a look of comfort in his eyes.
Waiting for just the right moment was hard, especially here in Aslyum. I decided to see how Nyx was doing and I couldn't believe what I saw.
"I missed you so much. I'm surprised you kept silent. For me." Nyx whispered and for the first time, I heard Trevor talked."I told you, you will be the only person who will ever hear my voice. You tame the beast in me. I am nothing but a wild animal." Trevor whispered back, caressing her head and hair.
By that scene, I knew they were lovers, lovers from the start. I didn't mind one bit, for I knew what will happen to me in the future, now.
***
Not making as much noise as I possibly can, I crept into the kitchen to look for a knife. A seraded knife, they are my specialty.When I thought I heard footsteps, I quickly hide somewhere in the shadows.
"I can't believe that girl!" A nurse said gathering as much food as she can in a big bowl. I had to snicker for I knew who the "girl" was.
Once the nurse let and was no longer in sight, I quietly walked over to the knife drawer. I was almost in heaven, this would be my stair way.
Creeping back to my room, with the knife in my hand, I look around for a victim, one who looked like he or she had a lot of blood rushing down in them.
I noticed a scream from a girl, "Let me die! Let me die!"
Walking over behind her, I placed a hand on her shoulder and said in a low voice, "I can help you with that."
Before she knew it, I thrust down my knife at the back of her throat over and over again, not giving her time for a last breathe
.***
Draggin the limp body towards the bathroom with one hand while the other held the now bleeding knife, I placed the knife in my pocket so I can open the door with my now free hand.
Opeing the door, I placed the girl's limp body over the tub so blood can fill the tub. I also turned on the water so it'll fill up more. But as long as there is blood, I am satisfied.
Turning the water off once it was full, I threw the cold body away, took my clothes off then went in the tub, now in heaven.
***
Lying in a tub full of blood, I stare up at the Goth-like ceiling.
Taking a hand full of broken glass and clenching them tightly.
The glass cuts through my hands and blood drips down.
Lying in a tub full of blood, I thought to myself,
Was it wrong that I did it in the past and now?
Was it wrong that I have a passion for it?
Was it wrong that I love the feel of bloody humans?
With the glass still in my hands, I drop them into the tub.
Splashing the bloody water with my body,
I let the glass cut my skin.
Not a scream, not a shudder, not a whisper.
Only the sound of my thoughts and the blood.
Is it wrong that I love the feel of sharp items?
Is it wrong that I love bathing in blood?
Is it wrong that I love the taste of a victim’s blood?
Lying in a tub full of blood, I go down deep until I drown.
And that's just what I did, I was finally bathing in blood, glass shards cuting through my skin, I tasted my victim's blood, and I went down deep until I drowned.
joss