I live in darkness and light. Between the conscious and subconscious world. Twilight zon. The world around me is vague. Am i alive A crowd of people surrounded me. Is it a hospital? I have no appetite, but a strong thirst. Water is wanting to scream water. I can't scream. Dreams and truth have become one. Real and imagination go hand in hand. I'm trying to separate them, but I can't.
Someone is saying in a very serious voice,
‘Mr. Himu! Mr. Himu. Can you hear me No need to answer - do not try to answer. Just try to move the finger. I am your doctor. If you can hear me, try moving your toes. '
I try hard to move my toes. I can't understand whether I can do it or not. I can't even hear the words of the fat-throated doctor. All the sounds around me became vague. Then I heard my father's voice from a deep silence.
‘Baby! Baby! Can you hear me You don't have to move your fingers when you hear it. I can hear the ball in my mind. Only then will I understand. Can you hear me, baby? '
‘I can. Why are you calling me baby If you name the Himalayas. '
‘Your mother used to call the baby — this is why I am calling. Listen baby, your condition is lazy — it has torn your stomach and intestines. I am very happy.
‘Are you happy?’
‘Very happy. There was one training left to become a great man — the training of intense physical pain. That is what is happening. '
‘Am I dying?’
‘It’s hard to say. Fifty-fifty chances. It's also good to have a long chance at a fifty-fifty chance. This is a wonderful experience. "
‘Dad, are you really talking to me, or is it just my imagination?’
It's hard to say, fifty-fifty chances. Fifty percent chance, the whole fantasy of you being sick. Fifty percent chance again I'm talking with. I can't talk for long, baby. They are giving you morphia. You will fall asleep now. '
‘What time is it today, Dad? What date? '
‘I don’t know. You don't need to know either. You and I are now living in a timeless world. This world is a strange baby. Heavy weird. There is no such thing as time in this world. No light, no darkness. Nothing. "
‘I really need to know the date. Esha will leave on the eleventh date. Mr. Morshed is supposed to go to the airport. Is he gone Is Esha back with him? '
"Do you want him to come back?"
"I want to."
‘Then he’s back. The fun of the timeless world is that whatever the inhabitants of this world want, it happens. The problem is that no one in this world wants anything. "
‘Mr. Himu. Mr. Himu. I am your doctor. Can you hear me Payal moved his finger when he heard it. Good, very good. Let's see, this time you can. You don't have to break down — you have to keep in mind. You have to have courage. '
Once I regained consciousness. The doctor opened the blindfold. I am amazed to see the unbearably beautiful world around me. The smelly hospital room in Phenyl looks like Evepuri. An enchanted face comes towards me
‘Uncle, do you recognize me? I am Morshed. Do you recognize? '
‘I can. Where is Esha? '
‘He’s on the porch. It's a shame to come in. Shall I call him? '
"No, no need to call."
‘You don’t talk, uncle. You are forbidden to speak. '
I do not speak. I closed my eyes and fell into a deep sleep again. I saw a huge mango tree in my sleep. Drops of rain are falling on the leaves of that tree like rain. The two are walking hand in hand under a tree. Man and woman. Who are these? What is their identity? They both deal with their confidence as they choose to embark on their play activities. The sound of suppressed laughter came from far away. I was shocked and said, who are you? Who?
The answer comes in a heavy, serious voice. I am nobody, I am nobody!
(Finished)
