12.11.2020

It was really tough week, no time for my study, writing, nothing. I almost kicked my boyfriend out of the house…twice. What a fail. First time he acted like he was dying from covid with high temperature (and nothing else) and second time he pretended to have ruptured intestine. I’m a doctor and his imagination knows no borders. These pretended hypochondriac breakdowns are so obvious and embarrassing. On the other hand, I’m successfully continuing with my squat challenge-today 180 squats done.  Sunday I was tested negative again. We are obliged to carry our antigen test results around.  I don’t mind it and I don’t mind to be tested from time to time. Although I’m not convinced about their benefits for society and to fight coronavirus pandemic. My boyfriend’s mom believes almost in every conspiracy concerning corona infection and in her opinion non-existent covid pandemic. Her only relevant source of information consists of conspiracy radio broadcast and facebookexperts for everything.  They usually turn from virologists and epidemiologists to constitutional law experts over night with degrees from university of life.

When I was a little girl I thought that every book deserved to be read. I don’t think that anymore. When a book offers you nothing, not even extension to your vocabulary, it doesn’t deserve wasting your time. Spending time with my son taught me to be picky about what I read.  Maybe it was also a book supply from my “ mother-in –law”, everything almost the same, how to blame me for her son’s life failures. And if I turned him down, the universe would avenge on my son. I am not aware of being around him when he was growing up so I’m not exactly the one to blame….She just doesn’t want him to be around her so she does manipulate me.  I feel sorry for him and can’t deal with it right now. Because it’s never proper time to deal with anything for me. I’m able to postpone even my mental breakdown.