I don't want to step out of my bed: Anxiety and my learning

Dear Sushies,

It's been an over overwhelming journey. There are days when I am reckless, and then there are days when I want to slow down. But what I feel today seems unfamiliar, I feel numb. I don't want to step out of my bed; I don't want to serve myself a meal and I definitely don't want to interact with people.

Maybe it's the resultant of ignoring my emotions for long. I sidelined everything that ever bothered me, and now that there is no air of delusion, the reality feels heavier than ever.

Mental health is the one thing I have neglected the most. Once because I did not have the knowledge, later because I did not have the resources, and now because I don't have the energy.

Did you notice something? Yes, the pattern.

Its recurrent, and its scary.

According to my understanding and self-learning, our tomorrow is what we choose to make it. But what if the present is gloomy and there lies no visibility to walk past the mist of unfortunate events?

The battle seems tiresome but there are a couple of things it has taught me.

1. Accept: Acceptance is the key to fight your demons and unleash the possibilities of a brighter day. You need to identify your fear, accept that it is bothering you, and then find a solution to it.

2. Be Vocal: Bottling up the emotions will only lead you to a downhill. Being vocal doesn't always mean looking for a companion who can listen to you, start journaling, singing, creating anything that motivates you. The prime idea should be to channelize your energy.

3. Don't overburden: It's time to stop overburdening yourself. Your inner demons have put shackles on you and finding your way out will be time taking, tiring, and overwhelming. However, you must know that growth is a process, healing might not be linear and it is okay.

4. Love yourself: Battling with things in your mind needs courage and love. While the people around you play an integral part in the process of healing, you are the one who has to treat yourself right.

Honestly, its easier to read than to act upon. There are days when I simply push myself. Yes, anxiety makes you ignore the reality, just to make you live it later and push you to the edge of the cliff.

Its a long route. If you ask me what I am doing right now, I will tell you how I am talking halts because I am feeling breathless. But I know that eventually I will reach my destination.