Let me just say that 'death' has been strong on my mind but I won't die. I leave my life in Jehovah's hands. You may want to bash me for having mentioned this but so be it. I haven't talked for a while. I thought I will push hard and recover from the passing away of my dad and I have pushed very hard but it so baffling even to me, just how drained my health is. I am so weak and no one to explain this to, sufficiently. So, I haven't talked for a while now.
I have gone on to writing a 'no-book', the first 'no-book' related to the niche of cryptocurrency and a book of some healing, dedicated to my parents who have passed away and typically, I can complete such a book in 5 days.
I drafted 270 pages of this write-up since the first few days, since i started it yet just to formulate it aright and proof-read it, I have struggled. I am on the PC, almost whole day each, struggling to arrange lines that already there. My health. Gosh!
This is not Terry but I am your boy Terry, whether bulls or bears and I tell you, we will surpass google. May I not have blasphemed.
I won't visit a hospital either. If something critical happens after all my challenges, then so be it. If you only knew what I watch per day of my dad's health challenges and of his last days; gosh. Never again!
And my mum too, so much valueless pain, even as the cling on to life.
And he has to suffer so much in his last days only to pass away. I know how the pains alone can have killed him. No mercy.
Never again.
I am currently still haunted. My only goal in the nearest term is to complete this no-book and publish it and i am hoping I can, in the coming days.
The 'Macrohard hub' that I have so toiled to set up; 'the 13th of December' will be the 5th month of rent, quite going to waste and I haven't opened this hub still. My weak health has just tied me.
I don't step outside, than go to this hub per day and in those short walks to the hub, I keep haunted, like my life will leave me and that is to put it 'less-graphic' but is my life mine?
So I will not entertain fears.
Well, when I have published the 'no-book', I will open the hub officially then.
Perhaps, I will have some healing too and the haunting will reduce. I will dedicate the 'no-book' to my family and my parents who are not here and may this no-book and 'the histories and stories' in it, begin the process of 'adjusting the world'.
I won't die. In Jesus' name, amen.
