The letters I wrote to you.
Sealed away under my bed,
Sits a box full of unsent thoughts.
Some of them are beautiful.
Some of them hurt to read.
But all of them are me,
and all of them I'll keep.
Each one is dated and signed in pen.
Folded into envelopes that are sealed with stickers.
A shoebox covers them,
As well as the tear soaked papers.
I wrap the box tight with tape and ribbon,
To hold every thought in a prison.
Here is one, if you care to listen.
To quote myself,
"Can you qualify rambling that rarely rhymes as beautiful?"
That one sits underneath anxieties,
Just above regrets.
But I still keep it around,
Unsent and unwanted.
I'll keep it with me till I lose the box.
A memory of who I used to be.
I've never sent them to you.
She's gotta wait a bit before she needs them.
But every once in a while,
She opens the box beneath her bed.
She looks at the letters,
Touching the dried ink, examining the stains.
And yet she'll pack them away again.
She'll seal them for later.
These letters I write are for her and for me,
And these letters I shall keep.
How to make relatable story/screenplay?
This is actually difficult. Being able to pull this of is incredible.
**Step 1- the plot/ storyline**
Writing something people can relate to is really fun! It also gets you noticed. You can base it of real life scenarios or stuff that could happen! Basing it of real life scenarios is the first step to creating your own so today that’s what I’ll be focusing on! You have to choose an interesting event, for example a cat getting stuck in a tree, won’t be interesting! So find a story people will want to read about even if they don’t relate. For example: it could be a story about someone losing a friend!
**Step 2- life like characters**
The characters have to be relatable or they aren’t going to fit the story line. Try and follow the least stereotypes as possible.
**Step 3- portray emotion**
In a murder investigation you don’t start laughing at the victim do you? So emotions need to flow freely. I good way to do this is imagine your in the scene or chapter. How would you be feeling?
Charity: Every Penny Counts
Need a helping hand for personal issue regarding the health of a family member who is in real suffering. Starting from losing a job, then not getting one life's been tough for real which I can't imagine feels like unimaginable seeing someone very close to you suffered like this.
I'd be really thankful and grateful for the help.
In such difficult times every single help will be counted.
This is my BCH wallet address you can help my sending whatever you feels like.
**bitcoincash:qqqxuerq6m566kc3v68x6kyqtverctkuy5ffkw0pf9**
Mask
I'm not myself,
Wearing someone else's disguise,
Don't take it off,
Revealing all.
An empty room,
Reflecting back to me,
Take it off,
Revealing none.
My place to hide,
My other face,
Don't take it off,
For what am I under my mask?
Song of Stars
Here in this floating abyss,
I see them,
Those shining children,
Their stony guardians,
And those blazing parents.
The weightlessness takes me,
Drifting among the sky.
How the children dance,
In this cold expanse.
The spaces around me are littered.
The debris of those who sought to grow,
Reach for the untold and best forgotten,
All while the silent guardians watch.
These joyous brothers and sisters,
Frolicking around the parents.
A strong glow of silent words.
A song plays again,
A guitar strums,
The drums kick,
In this meadow of stars.
Forgotten Past and Present
I don't remember the reason for this
As I look at these wilting flowers
And broken glass.
The Moon paints the room a dim silver,
With the shadows of the broken towers looming.
I don't remember the reason for this,
The scent of wildflowers and honey
And the shattered clouds.
Dawn paints a million colors,
As the trees stretch towards the sky.
I don't remember the reason for this,
The glare of sand and ruins long forgotten
With a thousand souls looking back.
The noon bathing the world,
Keeping the shadows in check.
I don't remember the reason for this,
The sting of the sea and breeze,
The salt licking wounds long healed.
Dusk sings a lullaby,
Bringing life to sleep.
I'm not sure I remember,
The day stretching thin,
My time growing near,
As the moon crawls up again.
Happiness
If I could change the world in anyway,
I could be full of power.
I'd let it all go,
Because you'd be unhappy.
And If I end up in poverty,
wasting day after day,
It would be ok, If you're happy.
If you're full of joy,
Then so am I.
You being sad is such a waste,
If you're happy I don't really mind.
I love you,
I won't ask for you to remember me,
All I want is for you to be happy.
I'll die for you,
As long as you aren't lonely.
If you're living then so am I.
You don't need anything extra,
You're beautiful.
I don't need money or power,
As you have that happiness.
All I want for you is to smile,
Into that coming day.
Little Boy
I lounge there
next to a young boy,
maybe 5 or 6.
The wheels of the train
rolling under us.
He looks out that dirty window.
Tries to wipe away the dirt,
with the sleeve of his shirt.
Gazing out that filthy glass,
at the pines
lining a gray sky.
Swallowing mud and
verdant needles.
Lithe deer and
cawing crows.
He sits back down,
murmuring under his breath.
"They were wrong."
There was truth to that.
Pride
I won't stumble,
I won't crumble,
I won't fall,
I will stand tall.
Blood on my hands,
Mud on my knees,
My story on my shoulders,
My past behind me.
I tear at the ones who oppose me,
Their eyes ripping me,
The violence slows,
And the sun goes.
Can you feel their stares,
The unblinking,
The ever observant judgement?
Dreams of old Japan
Sometimes I feel like I see through your eyes
Wandering the streets of post-war Japan
Through your fears, your pain, your grief, I taste
your wet cigarettes on a rainy day
I want to get drunk in a bamboo grove
I want to write books about Marxist thoughts
I want to read letters from Kazuko
I want to die in a beautiful way
Alas, I wake up to reality
My connection seems to be but a dream
But in my soul your torment lives on
You inspire me to leave something behind
And if my own words are left on my grave
No one shall ever forget me again
Mother
Your hand in mine,
Holding onto your skirts,
Your gentle smile,
Mother, are you there?
The tightness of your embrace,
The tugging of trying to right my curls,
Your steely gaze righting me,
Mother, I'm here.
The stories and songs during night,
A pat on the head,
Your ever encompassing love.
Mother, I need you.
Protecting me year after year,
Dulling the pain and easing the sting,
Even when I hold your shaking hand.
Mother, I love you.
Choices
I can feel my heart thump in my chest, adrenaline bursting through my veins. The cold night air blows against my face as I run. Though the sun is gone, nothing is asleep on this Friday night. I can hear the faint honking of cars on the distant city streets. I am running towards the populated area. As I am running, I start to think back, back to my youth, back to my happiest moments in life.
I think about my earliest childhood years first; the days that unicorns existed and the monster in my closet wanted me for his lunch. The nights I would stay up waiting for Santa Claus and the tooth fairy, as well as the nights I would cry as I awoke from a nightmare, how my parents would come to comfort me back to sleep. If it wasn’t for my current situation, I would chuckle at how much I detested broccoli and all the silly tricks my parents used to get me to eat them.
I then remember my teen years. How much of a rebel I was, or at least thought I was. It was in those years that I started to make choices I still regret to this day. The years in my life when all I wanted was to be “cool”, to be “mature”, to be “independent” from my parents. I would hang out with people- real bad influences. I did it thinking it made me what I wanted to be. All my teen years left for me were divorced parents, addiction to drugs, and people who I wish I could just never see again, but they keep me chained, trapped, isolated.
My twenties weren’t any better, college drop-out, history of destructive relationships. I just couldn’t find “the one”. My addiction wouldn’t leave, try as I might. My “friends” wouldn’t let me leave, either. I lost contact with my family, with good friends I had in college, with everyone who tried to help me see I was only hurting myself with my choices. Wish I could say it was my “friends” that drove those good people away, but I knew it was me.
Twenty-eight and all I have to my name is twenty-five bucks, run-down crack house apartment, crippling addictions, and a minimum wage job at a shit bar. I had blamed my parents, good friends, family, anyone that was nice to me, even those that hurt me- I blamed all of them for my life being as it is. I blamed them for what was happening to me, pushing them further and further out of reach, to the point where I can’t reach them, even if I spent the rest of my life trying. Maybe, just maybe, I could’ve reached my parents, but you can’t find help and comfort from those who are already dead. I put myself here, in this bad environment, in this shitty life situation. I put myself *here*.
I think this as I find myself trapped at a dead-end alley. Not a single soul around. I ran my entire life, feigning ignorance of my bad choices. As I look at this wall, I finally feel all my bad choices catching up to me. Every single choice in my life, whether it was good or bad, this is where it all led me. I closed my eyes, I knew there was no more running, no more hiding. The person I was running from had finally caught up to me. This was the end and the only one to blame was myself, I felt my regrets pierce me as the knife did. The only solace I have felt in eighteen years, at least I will see my parents again.
Coiling Lies
That ugly lie,
Coming back,
I want to lash out,
Strike against those I know are right.
I can't shake it,
A collar of false chains,
Tied to my leg,
And hindering those I love.
It's wrapped around me,
Taking the light,
I feel it,
Wanting to hurt and scream.
That conflict inside of me,
Of that lie told once,
To hide my true pain,
Coiling around me.
Do I tell those I love to leave?
To forever abandon me?
That my story is a lie?
That they don't really know me?
These thoughts,
Shake me at night,
The rattle of chains,
And ugly lies.
Forgotten Memories
It's lost to me,
As the petals fall from above,
Broken glass making them sting.
The moon is coloring the room,
With the shadows of those empty towers looming.
It's escaped my mind,
The scent of wildflowers and honey,
Of the broken sky.
Dawn paints a million colors,
As the trees stretch towards the shattered stars.
I'm forgetting again,
With the glare of sand and ruins abandoned,
And a thousand souls gazing back.
The noon sun is overwhelming,
Keeping the shadows in check.
I can't quite grasp it,
The burn of the sea breeze,
On the wounds that never healed.
Dusk sings a haunting lullaby,
Bringing life to sleep.
I'm not sure I remember,
With these days passing,
One by one.
My time is growing near,
As the moon crawls up once more.
Toxic Love
from his first kiss
I should have tasted the poison on his lips
giving me a sickness
so vicious
It took over my limbs
controlled my heartbeats
within
slowly infecting all the blood
flowing underneath my skin
my entire body succumbed to him
this is what happens when venom
takes hold of your system
this is what happened
when I fell for him
knowing good and well
that he might be my ruin
Stop Reacting And Kill Them With Kindness
This week of mine has been so busy with so many people and so many things happening it's just been overwhelming so what I realized this week is that there have been a lot of reacting happening, there's been a lot of people in my life in and out this week and what I've noticed is that a lot of people are really reactive and they're reacting with anger or spite or frustration and they're not applying any principles of kindness or grace or even compassion and so it got me thinking because with all of this unnecessary drama and all this unnecessary stress I started to think back on my history and really thinking about me in my younger years and how before I began to increase my emotional intelligence and before I started to working in healing myself and understanding my personal triggers is that I used to be really reactive as well so it got me thinking about that there's a lot of people just like you that could use a few tips on how to be able to be having practicing the killing with kindness so I'm sure you've heard that killing with kindness is a mindset or it's a thought process but typically what happens is that it's really kind of phony or fake and that we practiced that because like it's better than the alternative.
But in reality you're not fooling anyone that we pretend to be kind because we're actually really annoyed or frustrated the other people can feel it so you want to be mindful of that, that killing with kindness can't be faked it can't be phony and in think about this you've probably been on the receiving end of this where someone is genuinely nice to you but after they leave the conversation and something you say they didn't rub you right and be like " aaa .. we're really like you" So if you felt that before that there's a good chance that there was somebody who is killing you with kindness in it's phony-baloney.
So now how is the big question " **How do you begin to have genuinely have kindness and really be able to have that as your initial gut reaction"?**
**Knowing your triggers**
Knowing you, knowing thyself understand what gets you riled up? What gets under your skin? What bothers you? because a lot of times you may be suffering in your subconscious that you're an adequate or not enough and that might bothers you or you might have a trigger about people being late or being underappreciated. A lot of those triggers might come from our history or come back from our childhood or things that we've experienced in our past and so we'll begin to command or demand respect well on the other side of that a lot of times people begin to so much controversy because that's also how they feed themselves, how they feel worthy or good enough or that they feel loved or appreciated when they're constantly in drama so you have to really know thyself and recognize what feels you and what triggers you.
**Compassion**
How do you practice more compassion with other people? Easy, quit pretending you know it all, too often we make these rash assumptions that we know why you acted the way you did and reacted the way that you did or if I know what you implied or what you meant well that's not very compassionate in fact that's us asserting a assumption so practice kindness by **asking questions** vs **assuming.**
Ask questions like
**What do you mean by that** or
**What were you trying to tell me there because I heard something very different**
and you begin to ask those questions in and have compassion for other people.
Another way to really begin to practice more compassion is to recognize that every single person that you encounter has triggers. They're wounded, they're hurt to some degree or another some of us more than others but there's still a level of compassion that you can begin to have for other people so here's the other side of that just because you have compassion and understanding and grace for other people and you begin to practice that genuine love and compassion and understanding where you're killing them with genuine kindness then on the other side you also don't unnecessarily have to keep a relationship with someone's who's not conscious or someone who is not mindful or someone who is destructive and they're just not consciously aware of it.
A Voicemail
Hey!
I was just checking on you.
It's been a long time I've seen you
or called you or aaa.....
I was just missing you and us
and the love,
which I thought would last forever
I know it's pointless,
to talk about something that's not there
and will never be,
but aaa... I just kind of miss you.
It just feels so heavy and cold and hollow
I can't get over the idea of you
not being next to me holding my hand
looking at me with your hazel eyes
with a shimmer of hope for our future
I know it's probably useless to tell you
about this,
because I don't own the place in your heart
as I once did,
But...
I just can't let the pain go away
It's just eating me away
But aah.. I just wanted to tell you
that I miss you and I'll always do
but I know you don't want me around you
And I try not to
but I feel so helpless at times
And I just can't resist the urge to see you
for one time,
and listen to your voice and...
I should just probably go now
Because If I say a word or two more I'll break
and you'll feel pity for me
so...
To those that I love
To those that I love
If I disappoint you in any way
or made you feel like you're not enough
It's because I believe I'm not enough myself
you are not to blame,
you're not doing anything wrong
nor do i expect anymore from you
the way I feel, the way I'm acting
the way that I'm living are all things
I must change myself
no one can fix me or solve my problems
I know this but knowing it,
and believing it are two different things
you ask what do you want from me
you don't understand that,
you're trying to fill a void in me
that is bottomless
and must be repaired by me
what do I want from you
I want you to live life
to never second guess yourself
to never paint yourself in a corner
like I have
to keep your head above the water
never let disappointments , led downs
criticisms you ,
I want you to let every good in life
outweigh and outshine every bad in life
I want you to be free ,
I want you to live.
I learnt quite early in life. . .
I learnt quite early in life
To never stand under trees when the rain falls
For on your head a branch may just fall
I learnt quite early in life
The stars only twinkle in the darkness
So if it wasn't dark, It wouldn't shine
I learnt quite early in life
The Santa Claus didn't exist
That elf's and tooth fairies were all myths
I learnt quite early in life
That I wasn't perfect
And hiding in my shell was the only way I could survive
To be safe and never fall of a cliff
for you see...
I was never proud of me.
From the way I talked,
To the way I stood
To the way I looked
I wasn't even good at laughing.
I was far from normal.
I was shy
Timid
Standing behind a microphone
would only have happened in my dreams
I had dreams to be a star
To make people smile.
Be the reason that they laugh
And I always wish I kept sleeping
for day dreaming was my only way
my dreams could stay alive.
I didn't want to wake to reality
Awake to the fact that my self esteem was low
I felt like a bread without a dough
A star without a glow
I felt like life is short and time is tickling
So live right and make every second count.
And the best time to start is NOW
Two Quick Social Anxiety Tips.
You know it’s completely natural as a human beings to want to be liked by other people. No one wants to be disliked. No one likes to be ignored, not paid attention to or hated, it’s completely natural and what may cause you anxiety and what has caused me anxiety in the past is, not being yourself.
When we are in social situations around other individuals, we may want to be liked by them. Natural, right? So we may become someone we’re not completely comfortable with, someone different, we may become a character? And what may causes us? “**Anxiety**”
We’re afraid to break character think of an actor , right? There in this character … What happens when they screw up? Now we’ll just shoot shoot another scene cut redo. Well if you’re breaking a character and you’re in this situation with all these other people, you really can’t that may cause you some anxiety, so what I’m challenging yo to do I’m inviting you to do is before you’re going to this situation and even while you’re in it, keep reminding yourself that I can be me. It was sound stupid to allot of you, it’s helped me in the past remind yourself “ **I can be me**” I don’t have to be anyone else, I don’t have to impress anyone, I don’t have to be liked by everyone, all I have to do is be me. Sounds simple? Sound dumb? Well, take it or leave it. So that’s one thing you can try now before you go out to a party a work gathering , maybe a family event or get-together what is you know, practiced and taught when it really comes to Psychology and mental health is this thing called Visualization.
We’re going to close our eyes and picture yourself in this room or in this gathering and picture yourself being great. Visualize yourself saying hi to people. Smiling, being your complete self. That’s the one thing you can do by closing your eyes, another thing I’d like you tp try if you suffer from social anxiety is go into a room alone and practice visualize.
Use a beautiful imagination , because you’re all creative people, visualize a few people within the room with you, all together, visualize saying hi. This person’s is over here be yourself , maybe introduce yourself. I know there’s no one there, I know if someone walked into this room , you’d look like a complete nut. “Hello my name is Sam, hi. Nice to meet you, I'm Scott. Like, I know, no one would walk in on you, please, don’t let anyone walk in on you, but give it a try. Practice being you visualize yourself being comfortable in this visualization setting. If nothing’s worked for you so far why not give this a try?
People say you know, I suffer from social anxiety. I’ve tried everything and nothing works. **No you haven’t,** man, no, you haven’t! There are millions of things you can try, you can spend your whole lifetime doing new things, trying new things, and that’s the fun of it ,
**1**. So I’d like you to try visualization okay? In a room with eyes closed, eyes open.
**2**. Say to yourself: I can be me. I don’t have to be anyone else. I can be myself right now!
The Future of Hollywood and Films Post Covid-19
So ever since the outbreak of covid-19 **The Motion Pictures Industry** is gone through so many changes and most of us have been on edge of our seats waiting to see our favorite film and get back into the movie theater but there are some proofs that showing right now that the industry is pretty much confirming the fact that Hollywood is never going to be the same.
I know it’s not the best news for my fellow movie lovers and all the people who loves Cinema and Hollywood Industry as we all are going through so many changes because of Covid-19. From the movie lover perspective we’ve been waiting to just go back into the movie theaters to see some of the movies that we all love and enjoy but we want to do safely. There’s a reality to the fact that the entertainment industry specifically **The Motion Picture’s Industry** is not possibly done a comeback to the way that it used to be prior to Covid-19. And one of the reasons why is not going to be the same and may not ever be the same anymore is because of safety.
It’s just hard to make a film these days. it’s hard to put together production and people on the set and put them in front of the camera and act and to things without the fear of someone getting corona virus, it’s just really hard to do that and even the regulations have made it hard to just film even when you are being safe because now on film sets there has be a dedicated monitor that’s there to monitor the health of staff, production crew , actors on the set there has to be a certain guidelines towards the environment whenever filming is taking place on these sets and that takes money and that takes time.
And for people that are not in film industry that hasn’t work on sets before will not be aware of the fact that when films are being made they are actually being made in **the negative** matter of the fact it was the old Hollywood term that as coin from the actual film strips that exist **the negative.**
The movie industry has really been strong in predicated of the box office. **The box office** is the theaters, the theaters not only lasts in America, the theatres we’ve all gone to The AMC , The IMAX’s, Regal, the local theaters they’re all across the whole world but Covid-19 is not just in United States but it’s in the whole world and last time I’ve heard and last time you probably heard is the news that these theaters has been closed and the one’s that are open are not opening in full capacity there might be 10 or 20 people in the theaters that are watching it but that’s not selling the tickets that’s is needed to pay for films that are costing $100 millions and not $200 millions of dollars that is needed to get the money back.
The reality is the money that was invested in these projects was already slated before Covid-19 are not going to make that money back as fast as they were projected to make that money back before Covid-19 came into the picture and the other reality is for those films they're being made post Covid-19 and in the future are going to be made on much slimmer budget than what was proposed before because it’s just not financially lucrative and profitable to make a film when there is no more possibility and the profits are just not going to be there when the theaters are closed and people are not going to be returning to the theaters.
5 Easy Steps To Get Richer In Cryptocurrency
This is a very very educational piece if you’re new to crypto, if you’re an experienced or a seasoned investor or if you are a trader you want to try and get over some emotional sort if torment in your body psychological sort of elements as well.
**These 5 things will probably help you a lot and these five things are what I do all the time and ultimately all becomes one big circle and it becomes one easy very very quick simple method to manage essentially but it’s over a long period of time compounding.**
**Rule #1 : Identify Value:**
You cannot go any further than finding an altcoin doing your research and discover if it is actually or if it’s not undervalued. There’s been coins that have really exploded over the last coming months and people really got excited but realistically they’ve already ran , they’ve already made a massive gain.
One of obvious options here is ocean but realistically the time to buy was in the summer , in spring or whatever at five cents but some of my friends be like it’s 60 cents it’s looking freaking awesome all time high. Why? **You need to Identify the value** and that’s rule number 1.
**Rule #2: Higher Time Frames**
Most people when they come to the world of crypto or invest in chart the first thing they look at is lower time frames like they want the action, they want to see it, they want to see the stuff move. Realistically I only use the weekly in the daily time frame mainly the weekly time frame. The daily time frame is used for execution of orders to find and discover the pullbacks to get in using the weekly time frame to manage my overall position.
You need to identify value and if you’re looking at the bitcoin chart the more you zoom out the better it is and when you zoom out and you look at the weekly time frame we are still parabolic uptrend.
**Rule #3 : Risk Management**
Too many people overexpose they were be like ‘oh it’s going to be amazing to go to this level from a cat in there, from a dog in there, throw the house in there, throw the car in there, throw everything in there and I’ll live on baked beans for a week. Well that’s the wrong way to do it and this is what it’s going to lead on to nicely with leverage in a minute.
When you invest you should only invest what you do for a lose realistically, whether you’re a trader you can trade like this or if you’re an investor it’s simple positional holds are simple. As a trader you will look to buy and sell low to high. If you’re going on a leverage side of it you can do it other way around.
**Rule #4 : Potential Leverage**
Now moving onto the likes of people wanting to use leverage, you can because you can go the other way. The place I recommend is **bybit.com** you can use no leverage if you want to you can go 1x but you can go short you can bet against it so instead of selling at the tops or in Teva you can actually ride and grow ethereum, Teva or the actual underlying asset. You may think bitcoins will go down on 18k down to 16k you can go in a short position and actually bet against it realistically in the trend going down and actually grow your bitcoin without risking anything additional.
**Rule #5 : Exit Button**
If you don’t want to use small leverage that’s absolutely fine no forcing at all you don’t have to use any leverage but you can go short on it but it’s all one circle when you press an exit button. Why don’t you use ema, ema's as a crossover is a very very simple and easy tactic to remove the noise and not worry about the spikes what happens on the weekly. If you’ve been investing in this coin from this point there’s no need to panic because the one thing that does happen with exits it gives you absolute certainty that the trend is in your favor but people tend to sell when these happen and it caries and go higher don’t panic due to the fact that it’s dipped a bit and it’s correcting.
Why Stay Here if Everyday Is Just The Same
“**It feels like every single day is the same I don’t want to be here anymore and I actually hate life because nothing changes”** that is how I honestly would have answer this question before but this is how I answer that question now.
Everyday is not the same. There are times in my life where I feel like nothing will change but over the time I see differences that is how I would answer it now because I’ve learned that my actions can bring about change in my life. When people told me advice to help me with my depression anxiety even if it was helpful advice I didn’t believe them and that’s the truth. So I’m hoping that at least sharing that with you can help you as different than all the other advice that we‘ve all heard a thousand times over and over again.
“***Every single second that we are walking, talking, breathing , eating.. it’s new”***
If you don’t me look at the time it’s constantly going up because it’s new, you don’t know what’s going to happen in next moment so that’s thought in our head that everyday is the same it has to change because it’s not true. **True …** that word is huge. I believe our actions today creates better tomorrow for sure.
**For Example:**
Let’s say I’m playing video games and I love playing Brawlhalla, FIFA 21 etc. If I play today I might be all right but if I play for five minutes every single day , every day overtime I’m going to see myself improved and that’s because every single day is new and different and my actions I did that day improved myself.
So you can do the same exact thing with your own happiness you can actually did same thing with your emotions when it comes to sadness, depression , anxiety. You can learn how to better manage your emotions so that every single day does not seem like the same old mundane boring routine that never changes.
“ ***The only way to create change is through actions. And the only way to create emotional change is through physical action”.***
If you are not happy with your life and your day to day routine your schedule, going to work , going to school , the people around you.
You have the power right now to change that ... **You do**. And that change is through actual physical action. Physical action is just doing the smallest thing it could be writing something down. You’re not talking you’re at least expressing and getting it out.
Just go for a walk or talk to a friend, call that number, talk to a professional because it would be easy for me to say hey you can’t you don’t have to talk.
I hope it will help you to say “yo I kind of hate my life right now and my back’s against the wall so the only way I’m looking now is up and I’m going to start taking action right now even if it’s just the smallest action of five minutes but that will help me just to change my routine in my day to day life.
I’m going to start that today because over time I will see my life change and that’s make it worth it
So start it from day work on yourself you weaknesses and make them turn into your strengths. And let your strengths decide your present and your future. For that matter just a small effort that is **BELIEVE**
Do Narcissists have feelings?
I’m imagining that you've been hurt by somebody, been there. And it’s possible that this might be worst pain that you’ve ever experienced. If that’s true I’m sorry that this is the way that you’re feeling. I know that sucks. If you haven’t already I want to strongly urge you to seek out other resources to help you through this difficult time. A great resource is a licensed therapist.
**I’m sure you want to know if narcissist have feelings? But I think it’s important that you ask yourself the question why do I want to know in the first place. Are you just genuinely curious? Are you just trying to understand a situation that happened to you?**
We experience feelings because we have emotional circuit running through our brain and throughout our bodies, they’re part of our nervous system.
The vast majority of people including people who have trouble with narcissism have these emotional systems in them, in fact you maybe very familiar with a narcissist displaying one of these emotional systems e.g rage.
So you do know that they experience emotions , they do have feelings, rage is a feeling and surely you felt anger before. But what about other feelings like joy or sadness.
I suspect that you want them to feel sad. While those emotional systems are certainly in the bodies of people who have trouble with narcissism. They could possibly be avoiding them
**For example:** They might be experiencing fear but because fear is a little bit too overwhelming or too hard to process, they switch over to rage to avoid feeling the fear.
Sometimes when it comes to narcissist we hear that they lack empathy the truth though is that their ability to empathize is impaired it’s not missing because a narcissist may try to avoid feelings like fear or panic they are usually acting defensively and when somebody is being defensive they can’t see past themselves.
**For example:** Usually when we’re feeling fear the prefrontal cortex the part of the brain that has you thinking and maybe being able to think about how somebody else is experiencing you that’s impaired.
If a stranger suddenly jumped on top of you would you send them loving feelings? Chances are you would feel fear or you might feel raged. I don’t think you would be caring about them and it is the same way for somebody who has trouble with narcissism they have the feelings , they just have trouble accessing and experiencing them.
They use personality traits like grandiosity or attention seeking to avoid those vulnerable feelings and maybe try to manage some of that rage.
If you’re hurting I hope that you will take the time to be gentle with yourself, if you find that you keep seeking answers to questions in an effort to avoid experiencing some painful emotions I hope you will seek some additional support with some guidance and with some active coping the pain that you’re experiencing will end and on the other side you will be able to experience all of the emotions of life, the bad and the good.
6 Reasons Why an Ex Keeps Coming Back
What do you want from me?
This sentence might have coming in your mind when thinking about your ex.
I sure have. And I want to talk about six reasons why your ex maybe coming back to you. I mean obviously there’s wonderful things about you but why do they keep coming back.
So what I want to to talk about here are neurological systems in your body but don’t worry I’m not gonna make it complicated but I do wanna stress here is that I am simplifying things and this is not exactly how your body works but I think it’s important to understand how our bodies work and how your ex’s body might be influencing them to keep returning back to you.
I always like to go back to our emotions in neurological systems of our emotions in our body because those are really what motivates us and yes we can override them and our thinking can take control but generally but the reasons why we do the things that we do come from our emotions so let’s talk about them.
So the first and the most obvious system when it comes to your ex returning to you is:
1. **The Panic in Grief System:**
This comes online whenever we feels like we’re losing somebody that we are close to, somebody that we’ve had an intimate relationship with and it’s called the panic and grief system that is basically the way we experience it when we lose somebody who’s close to us. Even if we made the choice, even if your ex was the one who broke up with you and they chose to do that they still may feel panic inside of their bodies because it’s natural to feel panic when we’re losing somebody.
2. **The Seeking System:**
All of these systems are pretty much wired together in someway they can all influence each other but especially the seeking system is the one that is hooked into all the other systems of your body and basically it does what it sounds like, it makes you seek things out, it makes you want to get things that have made you feel good in the past. So even if your ex has told you that they hate you , even if they done things to demonstrate that they hate you as I pointed out with panic, it may look like they hate you but their body might be telling them like you need to stay in touch with this person because this was somebody who made you feel good.
3. **The Care System:**
The care system you may have heard to is referred to oxytocin and its just your general bonding system. Generally when we think of oxytocin in this system we’re talking about bonding with somebody , feeling good around somebody, having that feeling of confidence and feeling loved that feeling of course can pull us towards other people it’s what pulled us together ina relationship in the first place.
4. **The Lust System:**
This is the system that kicks on in adolescence for most of us and it motivates us to try to get close together and this is the one that when we talk about intimacy, yes we’re talking about closeness and feeling good and confident with somebody but unlike the care system this is a very specific kind of intimacy , this can be a very powerful motivator and is linked in with other systems.
**Now the fifth system probably is not gonna factor in for everybody and probably not even for most people but it’s a possibility and is something that motivated me to try to get back together with my ex and that would be fear.**
5. **The Fear System:**
The Fear system is the one that kicks on when we’re feeling really panicked when we like our life is threatened and it brings on that fight or flight system you’ve probably heard before. Fear might even be responsible for some of the anger you might get from your ex but if they’re the flight ‘s type of person or at least in this instance they’re moving towards flight they maybe trying to get away from the fear of being alone and get towards you.
6. **The Thought System:**
Their thoughts might be driving them towards you and that’s why your thoughts and your emotions interact. Generally your emotions have more control over your body than your thoughts but you also can think about things, you can change how you feel, your thoughts can change all of these systems and interact with them.
This is the pretty much principle behind CBT or DBT If you have heard about those therapies and the idea is that the way that you think once you grab hold of the way that you can think can direct how you feel. Of course you may not be a hold of the things that you think and you may not be in control all the time of the things that you think and that can be driven by your emotions.
So it’s a really complicated thing where your emotions and thoughts are constantly interacting now you ex’s thoughts may be driving them to return to you.
Love isn't a game . .
***L*****ove isn't an easy game to play unless you are a pro player in the arena** **here will always be a fear of losing the game of love if you made any mistakes or give any chance to your opponents to make a move.**
**So be very careful and play with your mind and heart. If your heart makes a decision think of it twice with the help of your mind because there aren't enough chances given to you to make a mistake.**
**In this game of love your heart will be broken once or twice and when you met a wrong person who is there to just play with your heart then that is not love but something else because that person is just there to use you and fulfill his/her own needs and nothing else , its just a matter of time that people needs you for their own purpose and then left you when they want to..**
**Don't let others fool you and take advantage of your kindness and goodwill in the name of love. Always put yourself first and then others , if you do that no one will try to get close to you to hurt you.**
**And in the end if there is LOVE then it will come to you no matter what , it will find it's way to get to you.**
@styles
