Willpower is a concept that affects every aspect of life

It is your most important support on the road to your goals; therefore, it is at the core of success. To show willpower, you need to be able to control your body, your thoughts and your behavior.

If you're trying to lose weight, stop those delicious looking desserts; if you need to study, stop inviting yourself to bed; if you need to write a report for work, stop scrolling through social media; if you're grocery shopping, stop filling the car with unnecessary things. As if if I had enough willpower, I could eat healthy, exercise regularly, not have harmful habits, save money, not procrastinate, and have a perfectly balanced life exactly as it should be.

It must be something magical, this willpower.

Those who have it, their wishes come true.

Of course it's not magic!

A breath, a pause, a little bit of awareness, a conscious choice, and that's it! There was an extensive research done in this field 50 years ago, known as the Marshmallow test: Young children are taken into a room. There is nothing in the room, just a plate and a marshmallow. The child is told that if you can wait a certain amount of time without eating the marshmallow, you will have 2 marshmallows, it's up to you. And the behavior of the children is monitored. Some swallow the marshmallow instantly, some smell it, lick it but do not eat it, some tear off a piece from the corner and try to make it look as if it is not eaten, and some wait.

Experts also looked at where the children who participated in this test were 30 years later. And they observed that those who were able to delay gratification and those with high willpower were more successful. This is the whole point of being able to delay gratification. Another name for willpower.

Today, when I look at young people and children, it seems like the area they have the most difficulty with is delaying gratification... Many parents have made their children's happiness their priority. Therefore, the child does not have the opportunity to experience waiting, patience, giving up momentary pleasures for a big goal.

Young people who develop and strengthen their willpower during this period can walk more firmly towards their goals, and they benefit from this not only during the settlement period but also during their university education. The period spent in academic life is definitely a period in which the right choices are crowned. These are skills that can be transferred to life in general.

When things go well, you want this to be reflected in other areas of life. They strive to take care and make mindful choices.

What we call willpower is a hardware we are all born with. Perhaps the most important function of this biological drive is that it protects us from ourselves.

One of the young people I was working with the other day was talking about how he needed to reduce the amount of time he spent socializing, but he hadn't had a group of friends that brought him so much joy for years. Being a part of this group that spends long hours "chatting" was unwittingly eating away at the time he devoted to his studies. "I'm with them for me, it's good for me," he said. Not wrong, it satisfies the longing for companionship, yes, but it doesn't have to be what you have. Our mind is always talking: "If we leave them, our friendship will be incomplete, this is important for you. What's the big deal? You can do it later," it says, says, says.

What is willpower? To be able to choose what is good for us, what is beneficial for us, not what is tempting! What I want to say at this point is not a show of willpower like "Work all the time, don't socialize with your friends, keep things out of your life that will bring you success"!

We said to choose what is useful, not what is attractive.

Socializing is useful, so is sleeping, so is watching a TV series and letting your mind wander.

But in the right amount. The real show of willpower is to be able to say okay, enough is enough, I have to go back to work, class, etc. and get out of the environment you are in.

Let me summarize, it's about seeing the underlying need: Sharing, respite, fun. Don't ignore it, but recognize when you are full. I think those who diet and question their willpower are in the same place. Realize that you are full!

If your focus is only on pleasure and gratification, you may find it difficult to hear your body's needs. Having an open perception in this regard already makes you a naturally "strong-willed" individual.

I have good news and bad news for you:

Good news: It is possible to strengthen your willpower by working it like a muscle.

The bad news is that it is also possible to deplete your willpower, to reset it.

Finally, I invite you to look at the places where we should show willpower but we don't. Review your will. Is what you think your motivation is really what you want? If you keep sabotaging yourself, there may be a hidden desire lurking underneath. Blow the dust off that desire, open it up, see what it says. What does it prioritize subconsciously?