What I don't like in a Filipino Family

The other day, I and my mom had a verbal fight with her older sister (my aunt, unfortunately). It all started when my mom asked what type of medicine my grandfather (their father) is having after we finished our meal. Instead of answering as simply as saying the specific medicine, she, "out-of-nowhere", said that we don't know it because we are not taking care of my grandfather.

The thing is that my mom asked a simple question, but her sister chose to answer it in a way, that she wants to cause a fight to run her pride (in this case, she can't have any).

So I'll start the story with the case of my grandfather being blind in his 70's. Health-wise, he doesn't seem to be that ill or have the most serious health issue, despite his age, which is a good thing for us, as his family. But since he is blind, he can't do such things all by himself. Although the house we are staying in right now is pretty much similar to him since he has been in this house, for over 40 years now, he still needs help, just in case if something is in the way or he forgets where some things he needs. And since my mom's sister is the only one, out of four of them, who doesn't have a family, and because she is the one who gets the money from my grandfather's pension from the government, she "obviously" must be the one to take care of him.

Unfortunately, she doesn't like it. In my perspective, all she wants is the money. She has this "As long as I'm okay, I don't care about everybody else" attitude.

She keeps complaining about how we don't take care of my grandfather, where in fact we are. She has this mindset that if we are really taking care of her father, then we should be doing "everything" for him. It's supposed to be like me, my mom, her, and everybody in the house must help each other to take care of him. The fact that she doesn't even have a job, due to various reasons, even before my grandfather went completely blind, bothers me a lot. I know that we aren't supposed to rush things but if you, yourself, know that you are not bringing any money to buy stuff in the house, at least put the effort of helping out, not just yourself, but to the people around you. Not everything is about money, but almost everything needs money.

What I'm struggling to understand is the lack of "respect and understanding", even if not on me, but on my mother. Since my mother has provided so much for them. My mom doesn't complain about anything since she believes "we are a family", we are supposed to be helping each other. But clearly, they don't see that.

It's like this way: "Whenever my aunt buys produce and stuff, it must be only applicable for them alone. But if we buy stuff, we must provide and share our food on them as well."

The other thing that had me shaking my head is that she doesn't like criticisms. Obviously, you can't live like that. Not all the time, you are on the right side of life, you are keen to make mistakes. What she likes is people getting on her side, which most of the time doesn't happen, so you will just catch her talking to herself as if she rules the world. If you say something she doesn't like or you will just correct her, she won't accept it.

That kind of mindset really makes my blood boil. Personally, I make mistakes, but I don't see them as things that are wrong, most of the time, I take them to be learnings in a way, I can improve myself.

I'm not an angry or violent person most of the time, but if I hear or see my mom cry or get insulted over something she is not, I totally don't know myself if I started to do things I know I'm not allowed to do.

Honestly, I just want to run away right now, in a place where people will treat you as a family, better than your "supposed-to-be" true one.