My Grandmother

I wish she still cooks food for the family. I wish she would still tell me life stories and we'll both laugh at jokes. I wish she was still taking care of me and the little kids here. I wish she was still alive.

My grandmother passed away when I was still 10 years old. It was the most devastating year of my life since I was shocked at how fast the night changed. Even though my grandma and I were never that close, as close as in she knows all my secrets since I don't talk about everything in my life and I notice now that ever since then, I have had trust issues. But we love each other.

I still have a picture with her when I was a baby but I didn't have one when I grew up already. My family always talks about how I was loved since I was the first grandchild in the family so my grandma got excited when I was born. My mom would even tell me about the times where I had to get milk from my grandma and it was so funny. There's this one time that I even drank the whole like-glass container of my vitamins but luckily, I didn't have any negative reaction. I still don't know why I didn't spend too much time with her and now I'm feeling all the burden of her not being here.

Since I was still a kid, when she was running out of breathing during her hospital days, I had no idea what was going on. I even had to fake my way up to her room since, at that time, kids are not that allowed to enter rooms especially since kids are prone to sickness. Considering I want to see her, I would like to thank the guard for letting me in even though I know he thinks I'm lying about my age.

The worst part about her hospital days is when I found out that my uncle, who happens to have more money than us at that time, decided to not help my grandmother who happens to be his mom because he already paid for my grandfather's medical bills. My grandmother got angry and I know she died, knowing that her son doesn't want to help her. Don't get me wrong, my uncle is at some point kind and he helps us until now, but what he did to my grandmother is never going to be okay. Like if I have the money, I would have put it on my grandmother, maybe she was still saved and breathing right now.

My grandfather, on the other hand, did a lot of not-so-good things when he became a widow. He was a good man at some point but he does wrong things too. He fell in love with a woman who happens to only like him because he continuously gives her money. Once he even thought about selling their house so he can have the money to give to her, but luckily, it didn't happen. I know that he has all the rights in the world to fall in love again, but falling in love doesn't happen easily and it isn't the case if you're the only one being in love and the other one treats you like trash. Eventually, he got blind and I think it's just God's plan because He doesn't want him to continue that foolish behavior towards that woman.

I want to thank my grandmother, wherever she is right now, for all the love and memories we had. I wish she was able to see my brother and little cousins who happened to be born a year and a year after her death. They would've experienced whole different care and love from a grandmother.