I Miss My Grandmother

I miss everything that we had, from the places we had been to the food that we ate to even just the time we spent. To be honest, if I could just go back in time, I would. I probably did something to at least help her during those hard times of her.

I am not pertaining to the grandmother from my father's side. Everyone on my father's side is problematic and I don't even know where to start. Yes, there are times that they are kind but you can't just ignore the bad stuff because of the good stuff unless it's 90% to 10% and doesn't involve any physical or emotional harm.

My grandmother died when I was just 10 years old. I remember that, on her side of the family, I was the first-born grandchild followed by my younger cousin, 4 years apart.

My favorite dish from my grandmother was her Filipino-style spaghetti. My take on spaghetti is the way Filipinos make it. I have tasted some that follow the American or Italian side which was okay for me but to be honest, I am a picky eater. It's because of the reason that I get a food allergy to any type of food that I didn't grow up eating, which is really a disappointing trait of mine. For example, I'm allergic to shrimp and as I observed it throughout the years when I was eating it, I had that itchy throat that hurts most of the time. As I prepare dishes now for the family, for the past months, I didn't get any negative "physical" reaction when I was cleaning the shrimp. However, last week, I did get a lot of rashes on my hand which was a little painful. I remember my grandmother being the superhero whenever I get allergies and it's one of the most memorable moments that I had in my life.

Now, I don't think that most foreigners will get attached easily to the style of spaghetti that Filipinos do because it is much sweeter compared to the traditional one. However, if you grew up in a neighborhood where the style of food is what it is, you probably will enjoy this one. Most kids in our area don't really care about spaghetti but by the time they tasted it, it will be one of the dishes that must be served on the occasion.

People often describe my grandmother as one of the best people they met. And I think it is really obvious because even during the funeral, many people were coming in and out. One of her best traits was she really knows how to deal with people, whether you have done something wrong to her or not. And it's one of the traits that my mother got from her. I noticed that throughout our journey of ups and downs, she never fails to be kind to other people. She can easily forgive and move on but still be a positive person. I probably won't have that trait because of the trauma and every negative stuff I've been through. I easily ignore people, even family members, who have done the simplest to the most unforgettable thing, in a negative way, to me.

The part that I am not still happy about is that she went away too soon, especially since she was given 4 more grandchildren after that. Everyone in the family missed the fact that she would have taught the kids the same way we were taught. My mother always says that she taught me how to sing when I was a kid and I wonder why I don't do that now.

Her love for children will truly be missed.