Grandpa

Life is not short. It is time that tells us that everything moves so fast. It is so fast that for every second that goes by, we miss something we could have done.

I was not that close with my grandfather as I am with my grandmother. I can tell that I didn't spend that much time with him but I could say that I had laughs and giggles with him with the moments we are together.

The first time I actually felt the presence that I need him was during Christmas church gatherings. We always go to church to pray and after that, we will buy some snacks and it felt like a wonderful time for us. He was one of those people who got recognized for always going to church so he became part of this organization for older men. They had so many events and my grandpa always bring me, and sometimes my cousin, with him to witness the fun. Those events were memorable to me since I got to go to places I never knew I would be in. I got to taste delicious food without having the struggle of being shy in front of other people. I think that's where I got the love of being around older people rather than with the ones my age. I also got to be outside since my parents are not really allowing me to spend time with the outside world, which on the one side is okay for me since I enjoy being alone.

It's like my grandpa always bring the world to me during the times I thought I already knew the environment.

But just like any other person on the planet, my grandpa does things that make my blood boil. It was not on the point that he hurt me physically but the emotional stress I got, and also our family got when he decided to find love once again, is really a nightmare for us. I know that in life we are not supposed to make a barrier with the people who are finding love but as to my grandpa's situation, he even decided one time to sell the house, the home which all of us knew, to be able to support his woman. Well, he got blind afterward so it didn't happen.

At some point, I think God just did that to him to be able to stop him from doing unnecessary things. Even though being blind is not always a good thing but I just think, it's a good thing that it happened to him.

We decided to move into their house last February 2021. There were a lot of verbal arguments that happened but I would say that my grandpa, at some point, was okay to be with. Even though he's not the best, he's still a family.

These wonderful moments stopped when one night after I sat him down for bed, I felt that he might have a fever. I told my mother about it so we made him drink his medicine. He became okay after that but when the sun came out again for the morning, his fever came back to the point that we had to rush him to the hospital. I felt the world on my shoulders when that happened. After a few days, we got a phone call from the hospital saying that he is Covid 19 positive. We didn't exactly know what to do since we can't leave him in the hospital or an area to isolate him since he is blind and can't do most of the work. The hospital allowed us to be home quarantined so my mom can take care of him. I was okay about it, even though I don't get to hug and be with my mom. It was going well. My mom managed to take care of him.

But after a few days of battle, he said goodbye.

It was the most devasting day of my life. I felt like all the work my family had to do to keep him breathing went downhill.

I didn't manage to listen to class since I'm feeling the sadness within me and I can't focus. I wanted him to see my college graduation and hard work after college so I can help to cure his eyes.

We didn't have to money to do the cremation so we had to bury him simply. It is still pandemic so we have to be practical on things.

I was not able to say the last goodbye to him. I know he is already happy with my grandma in heaven. I hope he guides us during our worst times and be with us during the happiest moments of our lives.

I love you, Grandpa.