Did it ever come to you, that at the age of 21, and you haven't done anything in your life, you are considered a failure? All you did was go to school, do your math and everything but did not or ever went to any job or workplace.
Now, that is me.
So growing up, I have never experienced working at a young age like cleaning in a restaurant or work as a waiter or as a cashier in an establishment because my parents wanted me to focus on my studies. Now, it is a great privilege on my side since I just have to be good in school and I'm okay. Also, I do want to say that I grew up in a very conservative and strict family. However, my mom had never laid a hand on me since I don't do much annoying stuff in and outside of our house, and besides, I'm not allowed that much to go out. Looking back, I wonder how I survived every day without being with my school friends and just tell each other stories in life. But anyway, that's not the real issue here.
The issue is not I have this mindset that at 21, I'm a failure.
So lately, during vacation, I started to get a job in some companies. I never had any luck since I haven't been accepted to at least one job. Well, I did have one but the thing is it is an internship with no salary or allowance involved. So I thought maybe, I'll just get another job but the MOA says that I can't be in another organization besides my school work and if they find out that I am working in another company, I would have to pay a fine. So in short, I didn't get the job. I would have to make a point that the reason why I am applying for jobs is to make money and to make an experience.
But it's hard to do things right now.
Since we are in a pandemic and my area, we are in a lockdown situation, it's hard to "move". I live in the countryside and most establishments that are available to apply for work are closed.
Now, I do have people tell me that I'm still young and I can still find the inner peace I am looking for but in my mind, I am running out of time, in terms of what I should be doing with my life. I see some people my age doing work or at least making their selves busy. And even though, I try to be busy, I find myself lacking the motivation at some point.
The story is that me, my mom, and my little brother are currently staying at my grandfather's house and the atmosphere is not very pleasant. I couldn't bear to look at them since they don't care that much about us.
I'm not being dramatic, I'm just saying the truth since I think I am not being myself at the age of 21.
Any suggestions to improve for the better?
You consider yourself a failure because you have no job, or because you haven't been accepted for a job? Are you looking for work to escape the "unpleasant" atmosphere of your home? Would having a job improve your relations with your grandfather?
If you're still in school, and are not being pressured to work for financial reasons, then think of school as your "job". That means giving it your best and learn as much as you can.
If you're looking for work because you need the money or want to help out your family, then you need a more positive outlook, and to seek alternatives to traditional jobs. Also, be sure you can handle both school and work because it is not going to be easy.
The only failure you should worry about is when you didn't try for whatever it is you want to accomplish. Sometimes, you need to fail many, many times before you can finally succeed.
In the meantime that you're still looking for work, improve yourself. Learn to be disciplined, obedient, resourceful. Help where you can, even without remuneration, because you pick up valuable lessons doing such things. And for the meantime, use any rejection as motivation to do better. That way, you'll stop dwelling on being a failure.