It all happened slowly.
The time doesn't matter. No. It never mattered. All I know is that the more I spend time with you the longer I want to prolong whatever it is that we have.
Let's go back at the beginning when I knew nothing about nights except the dates I've had with my self, my textbooks, the neverending videos online, and the sound of distant cars on the background. My humming laptop sounding as if it wants to play with me, a soft caressing melody, that even I don't know.
But one day you just had to ruin it all.
If you happened to change your mind that day and just turned around, I would thank you now with all my heart. I on the other hand, if I happened to do a double-take and stop myself from joining a 'silly' club at school I would probably not be writing this right now, and that would be better.
Yet we didn't do any of those, and now we're here. No longer sure if we're strangers to one another or lovers secretly denying themselves the pleasure of giving in to their own pride and ego.
Because that simple smile and friendly introduction twisted into something I never thought I would feel in my short years in college. The occasional friendly hangouts turned to daily conversations. The innocent greetings turned into holding of hands and rubbing of the shoulders. The simple chat of questions turned into long dreamy stories of childhood and pet peeves and favorites all meshed together. Little by little, it grew concerning, and I became more confused as the days pass on.
But secretly I was aware of what is occurring, and never did I let myself get lost in it. My brain let it pass, fleeting within memories and thoughts. Tangled within the very veins of my body, and alas I was unsure of what to make the sudden letters appearing on the screen. Three letters could make me rushing, up and down full of excitement that neither I nor anyone I know was sure of. Perhaps the awkwardness that I surprisingly possess comes out naturally, unkind and unforgiving. I cannot make a single thought straight without fidgeting or hovering over the keys. In the end, I manage to say "haha". A lame and an 'it's the end of it all' sign.
Still, it happened really slowly, and I'm still here surrendering my inevitable fate of losing.
Wonderful