Personal Experience in Examining my Conscience
As I examine my conscience, I realized that I violate a lot of things that are included in the ten commandments and I am not proud of it. There’s always guilt inside me as well as regrets. There’s something inside me that says that I shouldn’t have done it or I should have done better. It makes me criticize myself because I am lacking in a lot of aspects of life, especially in spiritual life. I have done a lot of things that are against the laws of God but He still forgives me for who I am and what I have failed to do. Our relationship is not deep, he continuously holds me but I turned my back away from Him. I am too focused on other things in life that most of the time I forgot to give praise and worship to Him. I don’t give much importance to the sabbath day and do not give time to attend mass because of wrong priorities in life. I tend to forget and neglect my spiritual duties and my mind is fully occupied by things that I know myself should not think about. The fire in my heart is not burning well and I realize that God is the missing piece in my life. Likewise, I realize that besides my relationship with God, the way how I interact with other people is also lacking, and did a lot of wrong things to them. I realize that the words coming out from the mouth are not appropriate to say and are not Godly works to do. Those words sometimes are sharp and due to the emotions that I’m feeling. Sometimes I can’t control emotions and when I’m at my peak, I will burst and release all the feelings that I have kept inside. I felt sorry most of the time if I say something that hurts the emotions of other people or whenever I badmouth other people. However, I know that I am not perfect and it is normal to lack in some ways. I know also that I am a sinner. At the end of the day, God always makes me realize things. I still believe in His plans for me even though I always sin. I still want to let God rule my life and live a life like His avoiding every temptation and allowed to be saved by His grace.