Being back once again into college is something that I really want to do in life because I don't want to see myself suffering someday and also because I want to achieve my dreams. But going to college was never easy. If you don't have enough money or scholarships, I have no idea how can a person really survive. Yes, it is possible but before it happens, you have to go through a lot - maybe a thousand times harder than normal college students experience. For someone who doesn't really have financial capabilities, they just prefer to stop going to college and find some work, or maybe build a family. But for me, I really want to graduate. So, I have done everything I can to enroll in Iloilo Science and Technology University to avail free tuition.

Honestly, life leaves me no choice. I told myself when online classes was implemented, "I am never going to online classes!" because I believed that I will never learn. Aside from that, I have also heard a lot from my past classmates and some rants of my Facebook friends about "I am learning nothing," and all they just do was pass the requirements. Although, I didn't really wanted to go yet but I have to because time is precious.

I am here today because I wanted to discuss some of my reflections on my college life and what are the things that I have personally found out and learned. I hope, this will not be very boring on your side.

Home is not a good environment for learning

Before school has started, I tried to be very ready and I want to have a comfortable room where I can study efficiently and focus well on online classes. I cleaned my room and make it really really comfortable in the eyes that when I see it, I know I can do anything here. I feel energized!

When our classes already started, I felt just fine and it was only like I am having a normal face to face class. I got no problems and anything at all. But things have changed when my teachers gave us activities that mostly requires the use of laptop or computers. I don't want to be left behind just because I was using my phone for doing activities and online classes. So what I did, I downloaded necessary applications that I can use to edit PDF's, Word Documents, and video editors.

I want you to know, that it was really hard on my part and it was consuming more time. I spent most of my time in my room and my mom started to become angry of my habits. So what she did was she made me do anything outside my room. Sometimes she would call my attention, "Sj, please water the plants!," "Sj, go out of your room for a while and take a walk," "Sj, make me some coffee," while I am doing some work on my phone or sometimes in the middle of my classes.

Honestly, I am losing my temper every time my mom does that. I was trying to explain to her my situation but it doesn't change. I know that she wants me to keep my body active and this is for health, but of course, I don't want to be left behind. I don't want to lose this opportunity.

Also, sometimes I would encounter situations where our neighbors would play their sound system or the kids were shouting while they were playing which were really not helping. Their noise is really bothering me and I am losing my focus. Days have passed, my opinion of my room have changed. "Before, this was a place for me to rest. A place to be comfortable with but now, it had become a room with a gloomy atmosphere that will cause distress."

Deep inside of me was a shouting desire, "Bring me into a classroom with my classmates! Please, I want to learn without distractions."

Online classes don't work

Honestly, it is a resounding yes!

When our classes started, I know that these online classes will not work and I have already accepted my fate. To motivate myself, I made some motto that will help me stay motivated, determined, and inspired. This motto says, "If online classes don't work, I just have to make it work." *I don't know if someone also said this but I only want you to know now that I really made it.

With this motto, I know I can keep going until I graduate. But no, not really! It is sad but no matter how much I try to make it work, it doesn't really work. There was always something that's stopping me and every time there's this something that is stopping, I felt I need to overcome another hurdle until it stresses me then made me sleep.

The hardest part I guess was when our teacher in EDraw required us to buy a laptop or desktop with atleast 4GB of RAM for AutoCad. I know beforehand that it was a requirement for engineering students to learn AutoCad but I didn't know that we would be doing it earlier than I expected. Just to let you know, I was really trying to convince myself that, "It's okay, time will come you will no longer have to use your phone to edit PDF's and documents. But before that time comes, please bear with your cellphone first." I already got motivated actually but then our teacher would announce that we really need to buy a laptop or desktop. The that motivation that I just got from myself completely fade away after that.

Aside from that problem, I am also having troubles with my internet connection. I got disconnected most of the time or sometimes our teachers do sound like a robot on my part. But what I do to cope up, I try to find our lessons in YouTube and listen to it. But then again, it is consuming more of my time.

Online classes don't work because instead making things easier, it is only becoming harder on our side as students. Instead of lessons, we learn stress. Instead of motivation, we get depression. Because online classes asks a lot from students that they cannot afford or finish and not only me, but many students out there who are underprivileged are striving not to be left behind more than they should be striving during face to face classes.

Closing thoughts

I don't expect college to be easy. I know it is frustrating and I have already accepted that. Or maybe I haven't fully accepted yet because in my mind I thought, "this would have been easier if it were face to face." You may admit it or not, but our friends and classmates are also number one contributors of fun in our college years. It feels comfortable that anytime you can talk to someone and ask questions. They can also teach you sometimes on how to solve this one or can help you in your assignments. What's more about that, is you get real laughs. It is not "Hahahahahaha or Hehehehehe" that you see on messenger but faces of you and your classmates laughing. And that, "Okay lang yan. Kaya natin to" messages should have been words that would reverberate in your ears with warm hugs from your classmates experiencing the same thing. Also add the food in canteens.

Aside from that, school is really a good environment for learning because you get to see different faces and rooms everyday. It is quiet. You feel motivated because everyone is doing work and you should work too. Unlike online classes that you are closed in a room and sometimes you feel like you were only forced to be in that situation. You don't see anything but walls and task reminders on it. And, less distractions like household chores.

And laptop please... Laptop cutie

PS. I really wanted to write more but I feel that I should already stop or else it will get really really boring. Maybe let's leave it for part 2.

Lead image credits to Pixabay

This article is 100% free from plagiarism.