For the past several months I have been inactive. In fact, I have lost interest in the things I usually love to do. People call me a lazy, unproductive tiny human. Little do they know I was also struggling inside, battling with all these issues. I have been asking myself a couple of times every day, “What do you really want to do?”. And I guess that’s how reality works. You get to ask about your existence, your worth, and your purpose. Recently, I was obsessed with how should I figure out and craft my plans for my future. And then I get trapped, didn’t know how to escape by myself.
One day in July, I decided to read books again digitally since I can’t afford to buy one. At first, it was terrifying to get back or to be attached again in reading. I get distracted easily, feeling the urge to always check my phone messages and what’s happening outside my world.
Now, let me start with my real intention for why I wrote this.
Would you believe someone if he says that everything around you is just a mere dream? Insane, I know. But what if it’s really the truth? Objectively, dreaming does not only happen when we are asleep but also while we are awake. The only difference between the two is the material frame. As we all experience childhood, we only agreed or accepted beliefs that were passed unto us. And until now, we’re still clinging to those opinions. In the book that I’ve read, that process is called domestication of humans. They tell us rules and make us register that into our system. Then the idea of getting a reward or punishment comes. Doesn’t getting the reward feels good? To be rewarded, we pretend. We become someone who is not the real person we are. We please people, our friends, family, and schoolmates. At last, we become a person who is the sum of society’s beliefs.
As we grow, we start to seek our own freedom. And there will be times that we become our own domesticators. Same with the reward and punishment system that our parents used with us. When you act accordingly with your belief system, your inner self tells you, “You deserve to be rewarded”. On the other hand, when we do something against the rule, we feel guilty and the Victim carries that guilt. For instance, the Victim is the one that sends words to our minds such as “I am not worthy of the things that I have”.
“Challenge your own beliefs”
The following are the four agreements written in the book of Don Miguel Ruiz:
Be impeccable with your word
It is said to be the most difficult to honor among these four. Most people say, “It is just a word, it doesn’t have power”. However, the Gospel of John says, “In the beginning was the word, and the word was with God, and the word is God”. Through the words you say, you directly express your creative power. It is a two-edge sword that can either create something beautiful or destroy something. Specifically, one edge resonates with the ill use of words while the other creates beauty.
Your mind is a fertile ground where the seeds you planted grow. Let me give you a realistic situation. A kid was told that he isn’t good at singing and his face is not visually pleasing. And until then, he believed those opinions. He grew up being afraid to sing in front of the crowd. And in a worst-case scenario, he stopped singing. That was the spell that people around us cast on us. Hence, whatever agreement you decide to believe will be reinforced and will be stronger.
Going back to the word “impeccability”, what does it mean? As defined in the dictionary, it means without sin. Being impeccable requires you to be responsible for your actions. However, it doesn’t mean that you have to blame yourself. ‘Self-rejection is the biggest sin that you commit”. How and what you feel about yourself determines how you’ll interact with your surrounding.
We often use our words to curse or to destroy someone. Well, we don’t know that word is the most powerful gift that we possess.
Do not take anything personally
You are being selfish when you assume that everything is all about you. There are billions of people living in this world, and everyone has their own life. Remember, the words they say acts they do, and opinions that they voice out have nothing to do with you. Basically, it comes from the agreements they made with themselves. It seems like we catch all their garbage and now becomes yours. In a general situation, when a person criticizes you, you’d get offended if you take things personally. You then start defending yourself thinking that you need to be right. Instead of making big out of something so little, try to calm yourself first and tell yourself that they see the world in a different picture and so do you.
Love yourself. Because when you love yourself, everything around you seems beautiful. Just what I’ve said earlier, you are the person-in-charge in interacting with your environment.
This agreement also applies to the compliments you receive. You don’t have to believe them telling you that you are amazing. You must know yourself and without them complimenting you, you are still amazing. Not every word that people tell you is the truth since they are also lying to themselves. The choice is yours, to choose whether to have faith in them or not.
People try to send you emotional poison, and if you refuse to accept it, the effect will be worst to them, not to you. You are only responsible for yourself, remember that.
Do not make assumptions
I may be guilty of doing this every time. I make assumptions and I accept those as the truth. However, we must eject that agreement of assuming things when we barely even know the truth. You have to ask the question to not be trapped in the suffering caused by making assumptions. The main reason why we often do this is that we want to satisfy our inquisitiveness but we refuse to communicate.
The biggest assumption we make is thinking everyone perceives life the same way as we do and leads us to be afraid of being ourselves. “Without making assumptions, your word becomes impeccable”.
Always do your best
This fourth and last agreement is the “action” of the abovementioned agreements.
Your best differs while you grow. It also depends on what you’re feeling at that moment. But irrespective of the eminence, just do your best. This is a perfect escape from living with regrets. You can’t even judge yourself if you always do your best. The golden rule in doing your best is you do it because you’re loving it, and not by expecting something in return. “When you are doing your best for the pleasure of doing it, you definitely enjoy the action”. And this also means living in the present. Enjoy and be grateful for every single thing that you have right now. Do not be trapped in your past mistakes.
This one helps me a lot to prove to myself that I am capable and I am growing. It redirects me whenever I get lost in the madness of being the best. The greatest enemy that you have is yourself. Losing is not a separate thing from winning, it is a part of it. The same goes for failing and learning. You have to keep pushing yourself to the limit and eventually, you will realize how far you’ve come.
It has been a while, potatoes. This idea obviously originated from the book of Don Miguel Ruiz and I just try to expand it based on my own absorption of the book. I hope you get something from this.
Always come back to yourself whenever you feel lost.
Thank you and keep safe, potatoes!