“The final destination is what matters the most”
Are you part of the percentage who agree to take this notion? If you said yes then, I somewhat agree.
In my 19 years of existence, that’s what I primarily planted on my mind whenever I was planning to do something. Technically, I was more of an outcome-oriented person. It did not do me badly but it didn’t do me better. Most of the time, I was mentally and physically exhausted. I was punitive and strict to myself that I even disregard the importance of living in and relishing the present. And what’s more comical about this is I often ended up not doing anything. A perfectionist, yeah. Thus, I psychologically tortured myself into getting those upshots.
Earlier this year, I was just procrastinating and visualizing what I should and must do. No actual doing. And every time I recalled all my goals, I felt more demotivated for the fact that I am aware of how long the process is. Obviously, I want to explore and practice writing blogs yet I am inactive these past months. Again, I was thinking I am not good at writing and maybe too conscious of how people will react to my blogs.
Everything seems dark. Like I was trapped in a hole of perfectionism. I really became the worst critique of myself. But we’re human and only if you opt to change yourself then, you will be able to do it.
The first thing I did, just recently, is connect with myself. I recalled the moments when I was being all-productive and intentional. It wasn’t as easy as I thought but I know that’s what I truly need this time to fuel up my self-motivating power. I need to get back on my feet first before I proceed with working for my goals. This is when I realized that I am much more powerful than my thoughts. And now, let me share with you why and how we can appreciate and live in the process.
“Why would I focus on it when people don’t care about the process?”
Yes, people will really don’t care about the process that you’re going through. And you have the choice, to either follow the majority or to be a member of this growing-in-the-process community.
You cannot escape goal-setting no matter how hard you try. But what’s worst in outcome-oriented goals is they only have definite endpoints. Now, I am focusing more on the little things or micro achievements that I can gain while I am in the process. Basically, process-oriented goal setting is having major goals and while you are working on those major goals, you are still acquiring minor improvements. It is like a short-term and long-term goal. And let me tell you a secret, self-discipline, and self-connection are your primary partners in this journey.
When you are enjoying what you’re doing, it will be automatically ingrained in your system. For instance, I included working out for 20 minutes on my daily agenda and after a week of doing that, it became a habit. It’s like something inside of you is saying, “This is the time, buddy”. Some say that process-oriented people are usually more confident than others. Why? Because being in the process allows you to take care of the tiniest details in whatever you do and thus, leading to better outputs. If you have the desire to succeed, you also have to remind yourself that you need to develop your ability to find enjoyment in your tasks. You have to play a trick, that only your mind can do. Doing squats is insanely a difficult one. But why are most people in the gym still doing it? It’s simple because they enjoy it and look, the results follow.
One other thing is consistency. Being in the process requires you to be consistent. And this is what most people who quit lacks. Apparently, those who enjoy the process are the ones who are more likely to be unswerving.
Process-oriented people know how to take care of themselves and when to rest. Quitting is not what they need. Because they know how well they are improving. As I have said earlier, I was harsh on myself when I was more of an outcome-oriented person. Now, I began to be gentler on myself knowing that I am still gaining while working in the process.
Patience is also one of the values that the process will teach you. Process-oriented people know their long-term goals and in order for them to reach that is by being patient with the current process or journey they’re taking. “Without optimal rest and recovery, there is no optimal strength”. Outcome-oriented people thought that by doing hard and more, it will be easier for them to realize their goals. In reality, it won’t.
By enjoying the process, you will be able to concentrate on the details of your goals. Subsequently, sooner or later, you will be surprised by the results and sometimes, you are just unaware of the results at hand.
From my experience, I have received and experienced numerous benefits by shifting from being an outcome-oriented to a process-oriented person. To start with, I learned how to be gentler with myself while I’m in the process. Thus, I am leading myself in building resiliency. And yes, there’s so much to enjoy in the process. Last year, I created my Youtube channel and just uploaded one video. After that, I’ve watched numerous vlogs and I lose my confidence in filming and creating content. However, these past few months, I realized that I’ve earned something even if I was just starting. I developed my editing skills and discovered ways of content creating. Those are just a snippet of what I have gained this year.
Earlier, I told you that learning how to enjoy the process is difficult than it seems. At first, pretending is what you must practice. You have to put a spell on your mind that you are actually enjoying it even if you’re not. After a few weeks or months, you will notice that you’re sincerely enjoying the process. One of the common ways to enjoy the process is by receiving rewards. There are two kinds of rewards: intrinsic and extrinsic. In intrinsic rewards, these are simply the benefits you will gain from the process itself. It can be anything that you like about what you’re doing. This will also shadow the attention you have for the ultimate outcome. On the other hand, extrinsic, these are the rewards that are from outside of yourself. Examples are: treating yourself with your favorite snack after accomplishing your blog post for today, watching a Kdrama episode, or buying that dress in your online shopping cart.
Looking at the bigger picture too often can trigger your anxiousness and increase self-doubt. You have to be wise and smart in measuring the increments of your progress. Give yourself the credit for even the smallest things. Most importantly, try to focus more on the factors in which you can control.
Avoid comparing yourself with the progress and success of others. This is the most overlooked factor of those who are exploring and doing their thing. It’s totally fine to acknowledge their success but beware of comparison that often leads to losing focus and intention. You’re growing at your own pace, buddy. In the business setting, you have to adjust to the competition happening in the industry. For you to prevent yourself from unhealthy comparison, you must identify what are the factors that cause you to be insecure or jealous. In this way, you can add flavor to your own dish.
There is no absolute process. Hence, you can adjust it depending on your preference, as long as it will help you to move closer to your goals while enjoying yourself.
In reality, the process is not always sunshine and rainbows. And that’s when a real battle comes in. You have to become a warrior to defend yourself from the dark side of the process and therefore, reach where your heart belongs.
One more thing, I advise you to have an accountability partner as much as you can. They may not be your best of friends, but they can be your in-the-process potato buddy.
Remember, it is the present that matters the most.
Ps. If you have any questions regarding personal development, you can message me on my social media accounts.
