Flirtatious

I stared at him

The guy that calls me a flirt

"Tss Di ka ba nabobother? I mean, he calls you names, ang sakit kaya nun" my friend once told me

But hell! I just want to get his freaking attention! Yun lang naman ang gusto ko. Kahit sa hindi magandang paraan.

Nasasaktan ako. I'm not a hypocrite, I thought from the very beginning that my fetish for him was shallow. I just wanted to flirt him, until one day, the shallowness of what I feel towards him became strong. Too strong that I'm doing crazy things to him and to myself.

Nanood ako lagi ng basketball games at practice nila. I even tried to let the ball hit my face just to let him notice me! Pero dedma lang siya. Still, that didn't stop me.

Naging stalker niya ako. I wanted to know him. Everything that matters about him.

Nalaman kong isa siyang only son sa pamilya nila. With his two girl siblings, siya ang pinakamatanda.

But then I stopped stalking him after a month dahil sa tingin ko ay nagmumukha akong desperado...

Ugh! I envy their maids and his driver, specially the ball that he's currently holding! I sighed. Pinanuod ko siyang umupo sa isang bench. He looks exhausted...and hot.

Hindi ko naman talaga magugustuhan si Austin kung hindi lang ako nadapa ng bola niya nung grade 6 palang kami. Late na kasi ako pero nung nadapa ako, hindi na lang ako pumasok sa first class para mapunta niya ako sa clinic. It's kinda ironic though when I started liking him that day instead of hating him for what happened.

His scent kept me calm. He did a lot of things to say how sorry he was. Sobrang gentleman niya pero ngayon, hindi niya alam nasasaktan ako sa pasimpleng rejections niya.

We were once friend, I guess.

Pagkatapos niyang magpunas ng pawis at uminom ng gatorade, nakita ko na naman kung paano siya magpakita ng sign na bad mood siya. Ayaw niya sa mga babaeng hindi magkamayaw sa pagtili.

It's weird. Tsk. Fan girls. I'm one if them, right? Would he also hate me for screaming his name?

He calls me flirt..

Dahil sa pagpapansin ko sa mga teammates niya.

Isa sa pinaka-kinaiinisan ko ay natawag niya akong flirt because of that! I don't want them! Why can't he see it? Napapansin nila akong palagian sa court so they tried talking to me. It was fun dahil mas nakikila ko siya through them...

Bakit ba siya nagagalit? I dont wanna know. I just want to think that he's possessive. He doesn't want me for someone else. What's his is his right? Ganun na nga siguro.

And lastly, he calls me flirt.

Kasi tingin niya attention seeker ako. Particularly for boys.

Jealous? That's a good sign. Kaya naman tinuloy tuloy ko na ang paglapit sa mga teammates niya. I want him to burst because of his jealousy and push him to make a move. Baka sakaling mag confess siya.

But I was dead wrong the whole time...

Galit siya sa akin.

Kasi mahilig ako tumitig, mahilig magpapansin at tumili kapag nakaka shoot siya...

Not that he's uptight to show that he likes me also... But because he's scared to even show the real him

Galit siya sa tuwing nakikita niyang malapit sa akin ang mga ka teammates niya. Galit siya sa tuwing napapansin ako ng ibang lalaki. Galit siya sa tuwing may timitili sa mga kagrupo niya.

Because he's the real attention seeker. He wants the attention of others. He wants to earn the attention of those who are flirting me.

Ang tanga ko! Hindi ko man lang napansin na iba talaga siya. Hindi ko man lang inalam kung bakit hindi niya man lang ako mapansin.

I was always around him the whole time.

Dahil ba kahit pagbalik-baliktarin ko man ang mundo, hindi ang atensyon ko ang hinahanap niya? Ibang atensyon ang mas gugustuhin niya. Hindi niya ako nakikita dahil sa iba siya nakatingin.

I'm just a girl on the bleacher falling for the wrong guy on the court.

Written last 2016.