Accounting is not my thing

So I will just blurt this out here: Accounting was not my thing.

When I was just a clueless child, my mama did a great job at stilling in my mind that Accountancy is very difficult and requires a lot of reading and more reading and also, understanding what you're reading. I was traumatized.

The younger version of myself thinks that this course is scary and too much for her.

The junior high version of myself is already sure that math is not her cup of tea. She hated math. She hated computations. She hated finding the value of x.

The senior high version of myself was a mess. She didn't have any idea what she really wants as a career so she took General Academic Strand as she was purely undecided.

You see, I had no idea where my future is heading and when I passed the entrance exam in PUP, I was excited that I already have a school but it was mixed with fear when I realized my course is still a blur.

Anyway, I have this habit of deciding on the very spot where the choice needs to be made a.k.a Enrollment phase. So when I learned about PUP's course specialization is BS Accountancy, that's when I I took the big leap of faith and made a very life changing decision in my life.

I chose to take the very course I was very sure I am not gonna take but took it anyway because it's the only thing that I stood a chance. Why? I just felt it.

I was one of the students who has to fight for my position in order to stay or else somebody will take my spot and if that happens, all I would do is cry and regret all my life decisions. I didn't want to fail because there is no other plan B for me.

So the aftermath of taking GAS which is promised to be flexible is to take more units because the truth is, it is not really flexible now that we needed bridging subjects to keep up with the other ABM graduates. I remembered that we spent until 9 pm at school because the load is really not a joke and it made my really scared if I can do it or not.

I really felt unfamiliar with having books every subject and the need to have a manual calculator and the pressure in every recitation. College is really not a joke and I remember the feeling of facing my very first departmental exams and I want to do is ace the exam and do well.

Fast forward, things became easier in my second year because I felt like I am already adjusted with my study habits and of course, the fear of facing new majors that can make or break us but it also felt thrilling to undergo this challenge with my new found friends.

It is an asset to be surrounded by your favorite people to motivate you and help you get up when you feel like giving up. It feels good to have someone you can talk to about life and just someone you can bond and have while you're breaking down.

College also made me experienced dorm life! It was one of the highlights of my second year.

February 2020, the virus caused a very long school break that lead to online classes and the cancellation of our comprehensive exam that will decide who stays and who goes. Oh I forgot to mention that I didn't have the chance to take BSA coz I am not an ABM graduate so we automatically fits the BSMA course which is also under College of Accountancy and Finance.

Online class was really hard during our Summer term to think that its only 9 units but every subject matter so we really had to suck it up.

June 30, 2020. It was the announcement of who goes to BSA, who stays in BSMA and who needs to transfer to another course.

Sadly, I didn't fit BSMA anymore and got my dream course BSA! I was so ecstatic and all my friends were also celebrating with me coz we all made it!

Finally, after 2 years of surviving and battling anxiety and pressure, we made it. Although the battle is not yet finished, I know we are already victorious.

2 more years and I will fight to get my own title and so are you.

My younger self would've been so proud that I conquered this very difficult course. It is really true that what matters is not the desires of our hearts but the Will of God. He knows what's best for us and it surely will reflect one day so we just have to trust Him.

We didn't just survive, we thrived.

So if you're reading this and feels like everything is not going your way, let go and trust God.

If you are looking for a sign whether to give up your dream just because the world is conspiring to pull you down, resist and be afraid to fail those who believe in you.

You are almost there.

You will get there.

Maybe not now...but soon.