The Challenges of an African-American Mother
As a mother, I would always talk to my children about safety when they were young. For example, I made sure they knew not to approach or take anything from strangers and to stay in the front yard at all times. In order to instill a sense of security in my children, I went over as many safety precautions as I could with them. My children are teenagers and young adults, and I feel compelled to talk to them about their race because of the dangers they face from law enforcement and their peers in public schools, as well as my own desire to help them maintain a strong sense of cultural identity.
How to deal with racism and the internalized oppression that results from it.
My children and I are constantly reminded of what to do or how to respond if they are stopped by a white police officer as a result of the constant fear of law enforcement harassment of African American youth. That young African American youth are more likely to be stopped by white police officers than any other race of people is a well-known fact. Law enforcement officers have always held a special place in my heart, but as an African American mother, I have a difficult time trusting white police officers. On social media, in news broadcasts, online, and on cell phone recordings, I've seen many unarmed African American youths who pose no danger to the white police officers who shoot them like animals and murder them with no repercussion or indictment from the law. When it comes to protecting my children, I'm skeptical that the law provides equal protection for children of color and their communities as it does for those of their white peers. African American students are often misunderstood and given harsher punishments because school personnel are not trained to be culturally sensitive to the needs of African American students. There are many conversations I have with my children about dealing with racism from school administrators and some of their white peers in public schools. My children have often come home upset from school as a result of disciplinary measures taken against them because of their race rather than their character. Most of the nonviolent offenses that result in suspension for minority students are violations of school policies like breaking the rules.
For example, my daughter attended Lebanon High School in Wilson County, Tennessee, for her freshman year of high school. She cried every day for the first few weeks of school. My daughter had always been an excellent student who had never been in any kind of trouble. She received an ISS (In School Suspension) for violating the dress code by wearing a skirt that was just above the knee with stretch pants. While she was changing classes, a white teacher observed her and reported her for violating the school's dress code policy. However, she was aware of the same teacher allowing several white students to break the same dress code or worse. My daughter made sure she was conscious of what she wore from that point on.
While walking past the same teacher each and every day, she noticed that some white students were dressed provocatively in short skirts and spaghetti strap tops, which were clearly against the school's dress code policy. My daughter could tell that teacher had an agenda, and she expressed that to me. For weeks, she and a few of her African American friends had been witnessing this situation, so they decided to break the dress code in order to see what the reaction would be. Everyone got a report from that teacher, along with an ISS.
It is possible for African American children to become stifled by the effects of racism. As a parent, I believe that teaching my children about the importance of maintaining a positive cultural identity is critical because of the many disparities in the African American community. The more they learn about who they are, the more confident they will feel about their heritage and their identity. During the time of slavery, African-Americans lost their sense of self and the support system they had grown accustomed to. African American culture has been devastated by the brutality that has undermined the structural foundation of family and values as a result of being forced to survive in a new world so unfamiliar, diminished to believing that they were inferior, and treated with less respect than animals.
My children are my most important concern, so as an African American mother, I must talk with them and help them deal with racism from law enforcement, peers, or school administrators. Having a strong sense of cultural identity is also something I try to instill in my students because it has had a significant impact on my children's lives and the lives of many other African American children.
