My Journey Towards Personal Growth

My journey to personal development.

The journey, not the goal, is the point of life, according to an old saying. It's a frequent quip that's rarely taken seriously, but it's commonly heard.

My entire life, I've been told that the journey is more important than the goal. I was taught to appreciate the road, but my experiences have shown that the goal is what matters most in the end.

At school, it all started. My grades were based on how well I performed in tests. What mattered was the ultimate grade. How did I do in terms of grades? How many As did I obtain in school? No, I didn't make it into the next grade. Always putting forth effort in the direction of a goal that lay in the distant future.

Which child finished first in a race or accumulated most points was all that mattered. You could tell who won by looking at who was holding the trophy. On the other hand, I was never that boy on the podium. That only strengthened my resolve to perform admirably when the stakes were the highest.

The race did not stop at the university level either. The desire to outperform one's peers and be regarded as the best. As a species, we have been taught to make sacrifices in order to reap the benefits of the future. It's all about where you're going, not where you've been. In my second year of college, I quit out. Surfing uncrowded waves and finding my passion were part of my travel plans. But I was short on funds. I was looking for a job because I was unemployed.

As soon as I landed my first "real" job in insurance, the "adventure" really got under way for me. I had finally reached the pinnacle of all my years of devoted labor and study. My first income turned out to be insufficient for me to pay off my student loans, travel, and pursue my aspirations, so I returned to work. Someone "recommended" me to plan ahead and put money aside for my golden years. Preparation for retirement, putting money aside and making sacrifices now will allow me to reap the rewards of our hard work and enjoy the remainder of our adventure in the future.

Money flowed freely. Hard work paid off in the long run. When I put in more hours at the office, I found that my dreams of traveling and freedom faded away. A fresh vision appeared in my mind. I could make out the final destination in the distance. It would only take me the greater half of my life to finally reach a position where I could relax and focus on the journey if I just worked hard, became the greatest at what I did, and invested properly. Sacrifice now, and you'll reap the rewards of your efforts in the future.

I'd always had my sights set on a better tomorrow. I'm reading and taking new classes to better prepare myself and the company for the future. Worked extremely hard in preparation for the events on my calendar. It seemed as though everything I did was directed toward a specific goal. I was able to achieve most of my own goals as a result of this. The certificates, medals, and trophies that came with my accomplishments were not free. I had a nice house, a nice car, a small investment portfolio, a nice paycheck, and the assurance that my income would keep coming as long as I kept my foot on the gas. It was a good life.

There is more value in the process than there is in the final outcome. How many people actually believe it? Those who aren't on track or haven't met their lofty aspirations may utilize this as an easy way out of finishing last. In the end, it's all about getting there. To see this, all I had to do was take a good hard look at myself. I was finally here.

I'm a huge fan of inspirational and motivational sayings. To make the point more concrete, I'll often put the lesson into practice by actually doing it. It's just like the adage, "Pride before the fall."

There is no doubt in my mind. Financially speaking, things were looking up last year. However, I was under a great deal of pressure. Every chance that came my way I was taking advantage of. A man who is always on the go will accomplish anything he sets his mind to. I was living the life of luxury in a 7000-square-foot mansion with ocean views on a 24000-square-foot plot of land. When I met the most stunning woman, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her because she was clever, ambitious, and spiritual. All of my children were excelling in school, on the sports field, and in extracurricular activities. I was sculpted. The world could see that I had it all. I was able to take a deep breath and enjoy the moment because I had finally arrived at my goal. That was the only drawback: the trip itself was tedious. I dreaded getting out of bed in the mornings, but I had to get up and go about my day nevertheless. As a result of a lack of excitement for my work, I was still dedicated, however, to continuing education and high customer satisfaction levels. A pair of gold handcuffs had been placed around my wrist. Things were beginning to fall apart on the inside. Getting there started to feel like I was searching for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I was in a bad mood, to say the least. Even if the system "needs" me, I had to keep going. It wouldn't have worked if I wasn't a part of the machine. In order to fall, one must first rise to the occasion.

Now it's here! Burnout; Nervous Breakdown; a Major Depressive Episode; There were a variety of labels for the medical practitioners. The reality was, I had been shattered. A person's self-esteem rises before his or her downfall. Inevitably, he sank to the ground. My entire existence was rerouted in a matter of seconds while I sat in front of my computer. The world would never be the same once this event happened. For some reason, I felt a day off was all that was necessary. It wasn't meant to happen. When I spoke with the psychologist, I knew how bad my situation was. Was it possible I had missed all the obvious clues? Constant high blood pressure and an inability to sleep, as well as increased worry and a lack of boundaries were all clear signs.

My trip began.

For the first time in my memory, I had no idea where I was headed. I had been shattered to the core of myself. I had no desire to be anyplace or do anything at all at that point in time. I didn't care that I was dying; I'd lost all motivation to live. In retrospect, I can't recollect having any thoughts at all at that time. I slept in my bed or sat in a chair with a blanket over my shoulders. It's not clear whether my breakdown or the daily dose of pills was the cause of my vegetative state, but I was unable to do anything but exist. In spite of this, I was nothing more than a stale piece of machinery. When I was sick, my fiancé took excellent care of me, making sure I had everything I needed, taking care of any work-related issues that arose, and encouraging me to take it easy and give myself some time to heal.

This was not the journey I expected. Even if you don't care about the final destination, you would believe that the voyage itself would be worth it in and of itself. Nothing could bring me happiness.

An old adage goes something like: "There's always something silver lining to every storm." Fortunately, that's been my experience as well. I accepted my brother-in-offer law's of a return ticket to India since I needed a break from the world. To spend some time with them in India, I set off on a journey in March. For the most part, my trip to India was a means for me to get away from it all for a little bit. Even if I had just been in their house for six weeks, it would have been OK with me.

However, something inside of me had a profound effect on my life. I knew I was on my own when I left my fiance and stepdaughter and strolled through departures. When I woke up, I realized it was time for me to set the stage for my voyage.

I'll go on from here.....