.There are many people who glorify first love. Love that is so hard to forget because the sensation is different. Love that is present when you are still groping what love means. Love that comes with all your innocence and newbie skills.
However, there is something harder to forget than first love: a first heartbreak. Remember when you were so proud of the strange feeling that you lived and suddenly seemed forced to cut it? Maybe now you can laugh at the moment and consider it childish monkey love. But first, your heart recorded how heavy the moment was. That day is the first day you know love. The first time you love other people who are not family
Actually, the moment of your first heartbreak cannot be separated from the moment of your first love. You remember that day as a strange day, because suddenly you were so attracted to someone. Whatever he does, even when he's just silent, becomes the sight you look forward to. Ah, you just found out that it's called falling in love. The feeling was mutual, you and he agreed to explore a relationship together. This is the first time, you love someone who is not a family member. Your feelings are still so innocent and so naive. It feels like that young love will last forever
At that time you did not understand that love can be full of chaos. For you, love is as simple as going to and from school together, hanging out on Saturday nights, and regularly communicating via messages and occasional calls until midnight. Love is also in the form of giving gifts to each other and the creation of affectionate calls as simple as "yank" or "beb", to the sevisioner "mama" and "papa". It's okay, your innocent and innocent soul makes you optimistic that this relationship will last forever.
In fact love is as fragile as the roots of a young plant. The gust of wind made it easy to be uprooted
Those happy days did not last long. Problems come in many ways. From him who is too busy with his activities, to the incompatibility of many things. Sometimes you suspect he is flirting behind your back, or maybe he feels you are not loyal. Cute moments steal each other's glances in class, or shyly holding hands turns into moments of avoidance. Another strange feeling that you have never experienced, is restless in your heart. He whom you have trusted as a soulmate, turns out to make you hurt. Your heart is in chaos
Fight after quarrel happened. Until what you fear happens: the relationship must end. He whom you love so much chooses to leave without compromise. Your heart is mixed up until it is shapeless. Confused, angry, and disappointed together. The strange feeling that slipped out was even more visible. Ah, finally you know this is what is called a broken heart. Ambyar, you say. He who you have trusted as a soul mate, turns out to leave easily. You are wondering, how to deal with the next days? What if you meet him who hurts you?
Confused, you answered when asked how you felt at that time. You are not ready for all the emptiness it leaves. You no longer have friends to go and go home together. Your phone is lonely, and your weekends are lonely. Your mood plummets, and your motivation to do things disappears. It feels like you just want to hide. Honestly, you are confused about how to live the days after this? What if you meet him accidentally? How to answer those who ask why you are no longer together?
It took you a long time to accept this fact. In fact he is still and only you think about every day
Come to think of it, there are billions of people in this world. He's not the only one, and he's not even perfect. Even if you think about it, she has a lot of flaws. You also meet new people, many of whom offer new relationships. But your heart and your own head are irrepressible. Still and only he dominates. There is still great hope to return, even though you finally realize that it was in vain. He is fine, why do you here have to suffer? The days passed, you finally realized that it wasn't that bad. Although slowly, you find your life direction again
Slowly and slowly, you start to lift yourself up. Gather your motivation to go back to the 'ordinary' day. The days of heartbreak have passed. You're starting to find your way back. It turns out you can be fine without it. It turns out that the world is still spinning even though he is no longer the center of your world. She is one of those episodes of life that you have to go through. Later you also promise that the next heartbreak will not be this bad.
Your first love is your first time of opening your heart to someone that much.