.We played hide-and-seek that evening after school, while waiting for each other's father and mother to pick us up from the house. Still clad in red and white uniforms, the four of us ran and hid, behind trees, classroom doors and temple gates. After a while, one of us got bored and suggested changing games.
"Play the fort, let's!" I gave an idea. We split into two teams, one squad of two. Through hompimpa I and a boy named Putu are paired. Not long after, Putu frowned. "But I don't want a team with you," said Putu, his finger pointing at my face. With the shrill voice of a boy who was far from being mature, he uttered one of the most honest sentences I have ever heard in the world:
"I just want Nisa ... Because she's pretty." Now I remember enough from childhood memories with a laugh. Ah, kids, how honest it is to judge who is beautiful and who is not. Actually, it was not the only time that people implied that I was not a beautiful child, not a child who would grow up to be beautiful. Their way of expressing this also varies: from those who pay attention ("Ma'am, don't get too hot, I'll add more items later!"), Half joking ("How thin are you, like a malnourished refugee ..."), even praise ("As for your younger brother. , beautiful. Ma'am, be diligent! ") But there were times when I wished I could have a different appearance. I pray - as a child who doesn't know anything - that in heaven I will be given straighter hair, whiter skin, and a perfect body.
Because in this life, I don't have it. Then I learned that almost all the women I know have had the same concerns about their appearance. Some of us, until now, still feel it. From childhood we were bombarded by double standards of beauty. Advice "Love yourself as you are" is always accompanied by ads for body whitening
Talking about beauty is confusing. On the one hand, we often hear a lot of comforting advice: that we shouldn't worry about appearance, because basically, they say, "All women are beautiful." "If you have dreams and are persistent in making them come true, you are beautiful. If you are able to respect other people and be polite to others, you are beautiful. If you are good at math or composing words, you are beautiful. Because being pretty is behavior, not how smooth or white your face is. " Actually this saying has a point. Who is not amazed, for example, at women struggling to balance office and family life, aligning their own ideals and those of their children? If there are many types of beauty, of course we can call women like them beautiful. Beautiful heart. Pretty determination. Beautiful brain. But on the other hand, we also have to admit. The type of female beauty that has been shown the most in the media, which is sold by most of the advertisers there, and which we praise most often in everyday life is the type of physical beauty. Rarely does it have anything to do with brain intelligence, persistence in pursuing our goals, or our kindness. And take a closer look. Physical beauty that is always highlighted is never far from fair skin, westernized face, and long black hair. In fact, not all of us have these attributes. Whether we realize it or not, we have been living by double standards. It was like reading a teen magazine that ran an article inviting us to accept ourselves as we are, then seeing an ad for a whitening product right on the next page. Maybe you haven't finished coming to terms with your skin color. Maybe you still have to struggle to accept your weight. But smile: you don't have to be embarrassed
Friend: "What are you doing on a diet ... It's okay, big is beautiful!" You: (to yourself) "Ah, it's easy, you're never teased like a cow, right?" Maybe all this time you haven't fully accepted your body shape. Too big, stretch too fast. It's also possible that your forehead is too wide, your nose is too flat, your eyes are narrow, and you hope - even though you know hope is hopeless - that one day your nose will become sharper, your eyes are wider, your hair is smoother and shinier than most people. But the truth is, you just need more time to come to terms with yourself. Break all the myths about beauty that you have absorbed so far. It will take a long time to recover your mind from all the media propaganda. The path must be slow, and cannot be forced. Take it easy, because you have a lifetime to learn. You have a lifetime to learn that your self-worth doesn't come from your appearance. An open heart, wise lips in speech, and hands that persistently work are enough to make you loved
When we focus so much on beauty, we can forget that there are so many things more important than the face and body. Just say it: You once bought something you really didn't need from a salesperson on the street, just because your tender heart fell for it. You've been willing to stay up all night to finish a gift for someone you sincerely love. Because of your caring personality, you know your best friend is in trouble - even when he hasn't told you anything. You have succeeded in balancing the world of college with the world of organization. Even though you are busy serving the committee here and there, your Grade Point Average is still high. You will learn, slowly, that the above should be enough to make you proud. Really, you don't need to be physically perfect to feel worthy. An open heart, wise lips in speech, and hands that persistently work are enough to make you worthy of love. And you will understand that during this time, you already have it all. Life doesn't always go well. There will be days when you will not feel beautiful. But when that day comes, you'll be fine. Because you are too smart and mature to think that being beautiful is everything
So, this is the reality. We won't turn out to be as pretty as those smiling on the covers of teen magazines. We will not know what it feels like to make a dozen (let alone hundreds and thousands) of men break their hearts just through the faces and bodies we have. And do you know? It is okay. Maybe one day, we will dare to define "beautiful" according to our own standards. We will consider someone "beautiful" because of his speech, or the sunken smile on his face, or his humble attitude even though he has studied high. Or maybe we will take a simpler path. Admitting that we are not beautiful - and taking this for granted. Because after all, there are many other qualities that are more important than us. I am not beautiful, and I am grateful for it. Me and you will be too smart and mature to serve physical beauty.
