.There are times in our life that we have an empty period. The meaning of empty time here is a time where we do not know where our life is going. Not long ago I met a friend from college. During the meeting he confided that he was in a state of crisis, not financially, but had lost his life purpose. She complains that her life is monotonous, and that the big salary as a foreign language teacher doesn't make her happy.
I do not necessarily judge that he is less grateful, but behind his unrest there are various reasons that I cannot explain in this paper. What he was telling was in line with my own life the past few years.
When I managed to put on the toga and present my college graduation to my parents, I was both scared and happy. Pleasure definitely arises to anyone who has successfully graduated as an undergraduate, but a sudden feeling of fear comes over when the graduation procession ends. There is a question raging in my heart "Where are you going after this?"
This question concerns concerns during the transition phase from graduating to bachelor's degree to the phase of looking for work. During the first months after earning my undergraduate status, I had a passion for job hunting. The spirit that was initially full 100% gradually decreased. The optimism for looking for a job that always starts early in the morning, prepares more than 5 application files, and tracks the background of the company being applied for, slowly begins to fade.
I started to wake up when the sun was leaning westward. The application file is only one file, even then sometimes forgetting to attach a photo, and the author is getting lazy to research the background of the company being applied for. The feeling of laziness became more and more when the pandemic began to enter Indonesia. Many industrial sectors have started to take a hit and have begun to reduce employees. In that condition, my laziness doubles. My simple reasoning concludes that under these conditions there will be no company that opens job vacancies. If, for example, there is certainly very little and the chance to get it is zero point a certain percentage. Undergoing days full of obscurity, I seemed to be one with the bed. Activities in a day are just bathing, cleaning the house for a while, brewing and drinking coffee, sleeping, and it keeps repeating the next day. The days seemed so fleeting. I got to the point where I couldn't tell the difference between Sunday and Monday, everything was a day off. An unpleasant holiday for sure. I began to waver and lose my purpose in life. A series of plans in your head during college fell apart and fell off, like leaves in spring. I feel sick when I see the achievements in life of my friends at the same age as me. Some have held fancy positions at one of the well-known companies, some have opened a business, some are planning to have a wedding. I? Never mind getting married, there is not even a job. I always keep the pain of fates and comparing myself with others. I never showed it at all. During hanging out, for example, I try to follow and laugh with friends about the boss's authoritarian work place, the bride's fuss when determining the theme of pre-wedding photos, or the salary that doesn't match expectations.
I smiled and laughed at the front, but the back fell apart. The turning point happened when I came home after hanging out. I used to hang out at a coffee shop near my house from 8 to 11 at night.
When returning home the house lights were off. My mom usually fell asleep by 9 in the evening. When I go home, I usually leave my wallet in the mother's room, automatically waking up the sleeping mother.
When I opened the door to the room, I saw the look of the mother who was getting older. The sleepy face revealed wrinkles on the forehead and cheeks. His hair also started to grow gray in several parts and his eye bags were getting bigger.
Believe it or not, I was stung when I realized that mom was getting old and I still couldn't give anything away. Even so, my mother's treatment of me never changed, in this case her affection.
In a slump and unemployed condition, the mother still serves breakfast in the morning, goes shopping for necessities at the market even though her steps are getting heavy, sweeps the house, and keeps asking God for the good of her child.
From my observations, maybe only a mother figure is able to accept our condition, no matter how bad or bad it is.
Was there any crying after that? Not. Meditations? Yes. I began to reconstruct what life meant to me and it fell on the figure of the mother. Happy mother. As long as it is empty for no purpose. I like walking in an empty room, dark, and directionless. However, having found a mother as a goal, I found a way. From the mother figure, I didn't find light but created light. The figure of the mother is like a light that lies in front that guides her to walk. In my heart I said "Yes, this is my goal to make him happy in his old age." The light led me to walk in the dark room. Even though on the way in that dark room I fell, slipped, and stepped on nails, at least I knew the direction and direction. The spirit to live life and focus on life goals are like a pair of flip-flops, if one is missing then the other side is useless. Whether this article is related or not with your life. But I hope there is some benefit from here. For me the purpose of life is not to be sought, but created. The purpose of life can come from anywhere, don't be too grandiose to see a life purpose that is too big but looks far away. Sometimes a purpose in life can be created from what is very close to us, but we forget to pay attention to it.