We all have exes. Okay! that might be me generalising but then; a majority of us have exes. Some of these breakups was a huge relief; a breath of fresh air but there are still some that we never wanted to let go and if situations were different, would have loved to get back together.
Not every breakup is as a result of both partners loathing each other or irreconcilable differences. Some break ups are just due to circumstances beyond our control like genotype, parental interference, distance, tribe and even religion.
Getting back with an ex isn't easy. There was a reason why you both broke up and chances of falling back into those habits is high.
REASONS WHY PEOPLE SEEK TO GET BACK WITH AN EX.
The ex was at one time the best thing in your life: Yes, this person was at one time the best thing that happened to you but that is in the past. It is gone. There is another best thing out there waiting for you. When we try so hard to move on and it seems difficult finding someone else, the mind plays its game of bringing to your memory, all the wonderful moments and then the desire to want to experience it all again.
It is easier being with an ex than discovering someone new: A new relationship comes with so many uncertainties and not everyone is prepared to start the whole drama of getting to know someone all over again. They'd rather give the dead relationship CPR than be alone and hurting.
We believe we still mean something to them: When we aren't the one that asked for the breakup, it affects our self esteem and we seek for some form of validation that perhaps they never meant to let go, maybe we still mean something to them. I'm sorry sweetheart, this is a recipe for disaster. If you are constantly trying to reach out to see if you are still worthy of their attention, you need to work on your self esteem. They chose to walk out of your life, have the dignity to hold the door open for them.
Jealousy: there is something about our ex looking suddenly better and doing better after break up that makes us green with envy especially if they are happy in another relationship. This has nothing to do with love but has everything to do with control and manipulation. When we discover our ex has moved on, the sudden urge to have them back starts.
Have you ever gone back to an ex? How was the experience?
If you have never, is it something you will consider someday?
Watch out for my next post on reasons why you should never go back to an ex.
Not every breakup is as a result of both partners loathing each other or irreconcilable differences. Some break ups are just due to circumstances beyond our control like genotype, parental interference, distance, tribe and even religion.